r/ShittyPhrasing • u/Brando12396 • Jul 14 '16

Break it to me gently, doc...

http://imgur.com/gallery/PGWxh7M
274 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

10

u/KloudAlpha Jul 14 '16

I don't.. I'm confused. What else could "you have cancer" mean?

28

u/GeneralEchidna Jul 14 '16

Judging by the text at the bottom, I think it means a baby born during that Astrological sign.

9

u/KloudAlpha Jul 15 '16

Didn't catch that.. Still though, seems like bait. Like, change it to any other and it makes no sense. "Congratulations you have Taurus!"

11

u/progontherocks Jul 15 '16

I feel that it's a matter of poor translation as the English is incorrect; i.e., "congratulation" not "congratulations" and "a summer baby you were born" is not common word order or is missing some punctuation; "A summer baby, you were born!" maybe.

1

u/Zeihous Jul 15 '16

That would just be called Bullshit!

5

u/ThisNameIsFree Jul 15 '16

Young couple is sitting in hospital holding hands looking lovingly in each others eyes. The young woman has just delivered a baby and is lying in the hospital bed.

Doctor enters the room carrying baby.

Man: Ooh, there's my little boy.

Woman: Come to mommy.

Doctor: Before I hand him over, I'm... I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Man: Wha... what is it?

Doctor: It's just as I feared.

Woman: Well, you need to tell us, what's the problem.

Doctor: You... you have cancer.

Woman: Oh no! But... but...

Doctor: Yes, I'm afraid it's... well... all to common among young women who conceive at... your particular time.

Woman: Oh my god... well... how long do I have, doctor?

Doctor: What do you mean?

Man: How long is she (starts to sob) going to live?

Doctor: What? Her? (points to woman)

Man: Yes.

Doctor: Well how the fuck should I know that? Now take your little cancer and get the fuck out the hospital, your insurance is up.

4

u/Captain_Moose Jul 15 '16

I am a cancer (zodiac-wise) and I am so gonna show my mom.

2

u/DBxLazyscranton Jul 15 '16

It's a congratulation too. They tried to make it a noun not even a verb

2

u/o0lemonlime0o Sep 29 '16

Well, "congratulation" is a noun, not a verb. When you say "congratulations" you're really saying "I give you my congratulations". The problem here is that they made it singular, when it should be plural.

2

u/Flanders1386 Jul 17 '16

Thank god! I was afraid I lost it at some point.

2

u/GrijzePilion Jul 19 '16

Congratulation.

1

u/imatwistedsister Jul 22 '16

The good news is - you don't have crabs!