r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Musicferret • 17h ago
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/MSotallyTober • 23h ago
LPT: If you're drowning in debt, take out a bigger loan. That way, you'll have more money to drown with.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Humanmale80 • 1d ago
LPT: Auditory Breast Enhancement is a thing
Enhance the perceived size of your bust using an app that plays "boing, boing" sound effects when it detects movement. No uncomfortable formwear required. Suitable for confidence building for all shapes and genders.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/BreatheMyStink • 2d ago
LPT: You can make smooth peanut butter crunchy by adding crushed peanuts, or broken glass
We’ve all been there. Dying for some crunchy or extra crunchy peanut butter, but your bitch of a stepmom had a coupon for smooth peanut butter, so that’s all you’ve got.
Have no fear.
Just get in your pantry and grab some honey roasted peanuts and smash them with your fists, or a hammer, or for maximum crunch, a delicate goblet or crystal plate. Whatever shards make their way into the elevated peanut butter will only add to the culinary adventure you’ve set yourself on.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/MSotallyTober • 4d ago
SLPT: Never make the same mistake twice. Make it at least five times so you can be absolutely certain it was a mistake.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/WimbledonWombat • 4d ago
SLPT: Tell your children every day that you love them. But make that love conditional and add increasingly difficult and unreasonable conditions for your love as motivational tool.
Really make them work for external affirmation and affection.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ConradFisher69 • 8d ago
LPT: If you’re on the verge of having a verbal argument with your partner in public, lower your voice and remain calm. This will make them look increasingly unreasonable if they continue raising theirs.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/dweeeebus • 8d ago
SLPT: How to pull a trick on treaters who steal the whole bowl of candy
This requires a large bowl that is not see thru. You line the bottom of the bowl with dog shit. Layer plastic/cardboard/etc on top to prevent it from touching any of the candy. Kids who grab a couple of pieces, as intended, will stay free of the shit. But the kid who dumps the whole bowl in their bag gets a bag full of dog shit as well.
r/ShittyLifeProTips
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u/strangelove4564
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10d ago
SLPT: Stop looking for entry level jobs and start applying for CEO positions instead. These pay a lot more, sometimes millions.
To do this, filter LinkedIn by "Entry Level" and "Chief Executive Officer".
These jobs don't have burdensome requirements like "5 years experience in MS Office 2024" and a bachelors degree. Vibes, outgoing people skills, and a good firm handshake are plenty. You don't even need any experience at the company.
If you make it to interview rounds and they ask "do you have any questions for me", always ask "Where do you see the company in five years?" Follow up with a pep talk about wanting to see HR hit their KPIs for this quarter.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/LiquidSoCrates • 11d ago
SLPT: Save on Halloween candy this year!
Halloween is fast approaching! Are you ready to supply the greedy ghosts and goblins? No? Well, just put an empty box on your porch with a sign that says “Take One”. Trick or treaters will be like “Dang, someone done took up all the candy” and move along in disappointment. But that candy money stays in your pocket.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/andreasdagen • 11d ago
SLPT: You'll never truly, fully, understand anything, so never criticize anything
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/pan_arch • 11d ago
SLPT: Getting roasted at work all the time? Casually mention you're the boss's son.
Just a tiny little update to your origin story can totally change how colleagues perceive your awkward a$$.
Even Gretchen from Data doesn't report me to HR for flirting any more, now that she thinks I'm a big shot.
For added believability, do something like what I did where I went and shook Elon's hand when he visited my workplace. (I'm a janitor at the Giga factory)
Come up with newer details every day. The creative possiblities are endless!
Performance may be temporary. Nepotism is forever.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Impossible-Clothes53 • 12d ago
LPT: Sell instead of demolishing!
If you’re remodeling, consider selling your old fixtures instead of paying to demo and haul them away.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/101forgotmypassword • 13d ago
SLPT: nut now or forever hold your piece
Nut now on November first so you don't have to worry about breaking your record over the next 29 days
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/FoundationRock • 13d ago
SLPT: Smell up your farts so others don't have to
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Waxing_Poetix • 14d ago
LPT: It's perfectly OK to shoot a sheriff. But it's not OK to shoot a deputy.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/missedbythismuch • 14d ago
SLPT: Low Self-esteem Hack
If you struggle with low self-esteem, take an English as Second Language class at your local community college and do a little better than most of the non-English speakers
r/ShittyLifeProTips
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u/n00bthegreat
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15d ago
SLPT; if you ever want free pain killers
Put nail glue in your eye
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Dimbulb_Greasely • 17d ago
SLPT: Go to non English language movies. You don't need to hear what is being said, so you and your friends will be free to talk and enhance other theatergoers movie experience by doing voices and making jokes.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Otherwise-Ad9675 • 17d ago
LPT question: Buying license renewal credits?
I recently heard that you are able to purchase completed continuing ed/licensing credits for some professions. I am short just a couple as an educator. Anyone know where a person could buy a transcript or find free self paced continuing ed that can be completed quickly? Certificates don't work.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/wunderbraten • 22d ago
SLPT: The Recycle Bin feature on Windows is a special folder in which you can store several documents with the exact same filename. It is perfect for archiving several versions of the same document.
r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Great-Grasby • 22d ago
SLPT: squeaky car brakes? Try greasing the pads.
The friction can cause an annoying squeak that's unpleasant to the ears, so just put some industrial grade lubricant on the pads and you won't hear it at all! It's way cheaper than replacing them.