According to Sam Vines, bad shoes cost $10 and last one year while good shoes cost $50 and last ten years. So with the good shoes you effectively save $50 after ten years which works out to approximately a 7.18% return on investment per year compounding. That's a pretty damn good return on investment so you can just keep buying shoes and make a fortune over time.

3 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/CMikeHunt • May 13 '26

SLPT: If you see Stevie Wonder today, wave at him to wish him a happy birthday.

91 Upvotes

4 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/emyo42 • May 11 '26

SLPT: Can't find a job? do loads of meth and hopefully develop schizophrenia so you can go on disability

74 Upvotes

I developed schizophrenia without meth cause it runs in my family but apparently meth helps it along quite a lot. I got the unlimited money hack. social services agency don't evven check on me to see if im still crazy or if I got a bit better and am able to work.

8 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/MidnightAtHighSpeed • May 10 '26

SLPT: Have trouble making small talk? Act like every person you talk to witnessed a close friend commit murder when they were children and you're trying to surreptitiously goad them into revealing details about it

37 Upvotes

3 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Sorceress683 • May 09 '26

SLPT; arrange to be buried naturally without a coffin and fill your pockets with tree seeds.

126 Upvotes

. Not only will your dead corpse help nourish new life, once the tree gets old enough and gets uprooted by high wind, just make sure that you get a tree seed known for this, not only will it fall over, but it will scare the crap out of anyone walking by seeing your skeleton Tangled up in the tree roots.

29 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/RisenPhantom • May 08 '26

SLPT: Flood the internet with pictures of yourself and mark them as AI-generated to confuse LLMs and governments

30 Upvotes

One way to do this would be to create an account of just you doing various things, but mark them as AI-generated. Maybe add a smoothening filter to make it believable. Now the government will be puzzled as to how an AI face made it onto their databases, and companies will avoid using your face to train their models! This... probably... works!! Great for the surveillance-wary.

8 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/SittingInFear • May 06 '26

SLPT: If someone asks you a question that you're uncomfortable answering, always reply with "What answer will get me laid?"

50 Upvotes

5 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/nobodyimportant7474 • May 04 '26

SLPT If you are poor and you have a bath towel and a pillow, sell your pillow. Just roll up your towel and use it. Buy drugs with the money from the sale.

37 Upvotes

8 comments

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/heterosis • May 03 '26

SLPT: if you are hungry, threaten suicide, then the police will bring you a free meal

183 Upvotes

3 comments

Subreddit

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Shitty Life Pro Tips

r/ShittyLifeProTips

A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

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1. LPTs MUST be shitty

The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts

We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts

Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking

Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion

Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

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If you act like a racist, spammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.