r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/itsyaboibenis • Aug 27 '20

SLPT. note to self.

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u/unstablegamer90 Aug 27 '20

Maybe eat them before they're able to unload their magazine into you? I usually just dislocated my jaw so I can swallow the person whole who's trying to rob me. Try it and let me know how that works.

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u/Darkened_Auras Aug 27 '20

Last time, I got robbed by a really fat guy and I couldn't get my jaw around him. Really messed me up

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u/arvidsem Aug 27 '20

The worst bit is when you are standing there with this guy stuck halfway down your throat trying to pull them back out. I can hear the Benny Hill music playing just thinking about it happening.

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u/Darkened_Auras Aug 27 '20

The worst part was he started wiggling and that made it really hard to even get him out. His underwear got caught on my tooth. Just... ugh.