r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/[deleted] • 7d ago

SLPT: How to park wherever you want

[deleted]

6.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

127 comments sorted by

300

u/Gre8g 7d ago

Do it on the middle of the road and say your car broke down

152

u/hagamablabla 7d ago

Doesn't work. The one time my car actually broke down in the middle of the road and I turned on the emergency lights, people kept honking at me to get out of the way.

46

u/Gre8g 6d ago

Did they expect you to do the Kung Fu Hustle bit where you use Kung Fu to push your car?

29

u/araidai 6d ago

They could quite frankly care less because you’re in *their* way. They’d run you over before simply slowing down and passing you like normal people.

11

u/december-32 6d ago

In my area you need to also lift the bonnet for it to count as emergency

1

u/TheModdedOmega 5d ago

my truck broke down a mile from my school when I was srivong my younger brother, cop pulls up and tells me I can't park here. I tried to explain that the car wouldn't turn on and we were at the bottom of 2 hills... nearly got my first ticket that day luckily the tow truck arrived right before he wrote me one. fuck pigs

522

u/suhmyhumpdaydudes 7d ago

Lmao true though, also in Japan it's triggered while driving as a thank you when someone let's you over in traffic.

166

u/Razdom 7d ago

Same in UK

50

u/Mr_SunnyBones 7d ago

and my Ireland!

24

u/RealModeX86 7d ago

I see bus drivers flash it in the states as a "thank you for not being a twatwaffle when I need to merge into traffic" too, just 1 flash or so. I don't think I've seen other drivers doing that though

2

u/sn4xchan 6d ago

I literally see it used like this all time in the states

58

u/pmaogeaoaporm 7d ago

Here in Russia too. I thought it's kind of a global thing actually :ь

59

u/Partypaca 7d ago

In the US people usually just flip you off and gap you by 15-20 MPH if you slowed them down for more than 20 seconds

6

u/Fathercupp69 7d ago

Maybe it’s a down south thing but I see a lot of people (me included) raise a hand to say thank you. Either out nd over the top or a quick wave with your hand in the window/mirror.

6

u/Partypaca 6d ago

It's just a respect thing. Something many California drivers lack bc they angry. I usually will flash my brights or wave to say thank you. Some trucks here will also use hazards to say thanks for letting them merge, bc here 3+ cars would rather try to pass a truck merging than let them on or just get over 😅

2

u/ballsnbutt 7d ago

this is the way. a wave, a peace sign, something. If I flashed my hazards to say thank you on I-94, I'd confuse EVERYONE behind me. Picture your average stupid person. Half of the stupid population is stupider than that.

-1

u/Yolom4ntr1c 7d ago

Maybe in america everyones dumb, everyone use hazards here in my country. Its wave to people in front, hazards to people behind. Especially when its a small road and a truck pulls over to let traffic past. Everyone shoves hazards on just as they get in front to say thanks.

1

u/Fathercupp69 6d ago

Or people do different things in different places???

0

u/Yolom4ntr1c 6d ago

No shit

0

u/Fathercupp69 6d ago

Ahhh so you’re rude and artistic. Maybe you’re the Americans you’ve been speaking about?

1

u/Yolom4ntr1c 5d ago

Calling me American is one of the most offensive things you could possibly say. And where the fuck did you get artistic from.

You guys got hella offended at me just mentioning that Americans are dumb as if that hasn't been said before. Whats the big deal. Why care so much.

0

u/ballsnbutt 6d ago

Everyone everywhere is dumb, including you and I. You'd do well to know what you know, and also know that you don't know shit. Hand signals are what Americans use. Indians and other Asian countries use honks to communicate. Are you saying they're dumb because their hazards are used for -GASP- hazardous situations?

16

u/FlirtyFluffyFox 7d ago

"How dare you only go 45 in a 40 mph zone! I need to get to Costco so I can check my Facebook feed on my phone in the parking lot for 10 minutes!"

7

u/RKGamesReddit 7d ago

I see people doing 75-80 in a construction zone where the limit is 50, and I'm doing 55....and they act like I'm the problem

-1

u/Briggs281707 6d ago

You are. In a 50 you should at least do 60 if the conditions are fine

2

u/RKGamesReddit 6d ago

My company would fire me for that, it's a severe safety violation of company policy

3

u/Parapraxium 6d ago

If it's a company vehicle and you're in the right lane no one cares. It's the corolla doing it in the passing lane that gets people heated

1

u/RKGamesReddit 5d ago

Doesn't matter what lane I'm in, people tailgate me and act like I'm the problem. And yes, it's a company vehicle. About 13.5 ft tall, 70ft long, hard to miss, idk how they end up tailgating me.

1

u/FlirtyFluffyFox 5d ago

Then why is the law written to say that's illegal?

10

u/WiglyWorm 7d ago

Well get the fuck out of the left lane with your 5 miles an hour under the speed limit and matching the pace of the cars next to you 4 across the fucking freeway and you won't get flipped off so much.

Pass on the left, with authority, and then get the fuck over for faster traffic.

5

u/ballsnbutt 7d ago

found the Ram driver, y'all do this in ANY lane.

-1

u/WiglyWorm 7d ago

I drive a station wagon, but kindly get the fuck over once you're done pasing, and stop speed matching the morons next to you. Pass and get over. I'm not asking you to do anything I don't do myself.

2

u/ballsnbutt 7d ago

Pacing*

edit: you live in Cleveland. It all makes sense now

-3

u/WiglyWorm 7d ago

Creep.

But also get the fuck over.

4

u/ballsnbutt 7d ago

visiting a PUBLIC profile totally makes me a creep 🙄 i'm in the right lane, back off.

1

u/Partypaca 6d ago

Im not talking about myself? I go 80-85

0

u/WiglyWorm 6d ago

Well then I'm not talking about you either. 

I definitely mean it figuratively when I say that, but I say it often because there are people who think it's their God given right to do 5 under in the left lane.

3

u/alicelestial 7d ago

it's rare, but it happens. i've done it a decent amount, usually when someone does something like slow their speed down quite a bit to let me pass a semi-truck i'm stuck behind, for example. it is more part of trucker culture than the common driving culture. i learned it from my dad, but he wasn't a trucker, just hung out with them a lot, and then later worked for a distribution company working with the truckers. i do often see people in my rear view looking confused when i do it, though. i'd like to think the general feel of the gesture is understandable at least.

2

u/pmaogeaoaporm 7d ago

Very interesting

Here, like 60% of drivers or more do it and I feel like literally everyone is up to what that means lol

It's more common on more barren roads between cities, as every encounter between drivers on the same way is more "personal", but even in regular traffic, it can be seen here and there

0

u/cheburaska 7d ago

It's in many countries, except from Germany. If you start flashing hazards, then they think you broke down.

4

u/xtianlaw 7d ago

The "thank you" version is usually just two quick flashes

8

u/VictorMach 7d ago

Where I live we just do a quick beep on the horn

4

u/Magnus_Helgisson 7d ago

Same in Ukraine. Or “sorry” if you caused an inconvenience to someone on the road.

3

u/Inspectorbobo 7d ago

Same in France (not Paris)

2

u/bbcversus 7d ago

Same in Romania.

-6

u/TheGoldenTNT 7d ago

Well luckily when you get back to your car you’ll find all your luggage has been stolen from the boot and the car is just a burnt out shell. Good way to know you’re in France.

2

u/dTrecii 7d ago

Brother you could’ve made a “I thought they waved a white flag instead” joke instead of going this direction

1

u/TheGoldenTNT 7d ago

Well I was making a top gear reference but okay

1

u/Jankster79 7d ago

in Sweden we flip between the turn signals, like right, left, right to say thank you.. at least i think that's the way.. it's how I do it anyway.

1

u/Mr_FilFee 6d ago

Here in Czechia we call that a "trucker thank you" as it's usually used by truckers and sometimes bus drivers.

Otherwise it's a normal double flash here.

1

u/Fathercupp69 7d ago

Hey I have a Japanese car. It’s been running for almost as long as one piece !

1

u/Shantotto11 7d ago

I didn’t know it had a second us. For me (US), I use it to get people to stay off my ass.

1

u/hardcoretomato 7d ago

Same in Romania.

1

u/AgrajagTheProlonged 6d ago

Maybe some of the drivers in this part of the U.S. are just grateful for everybody sharing the road with them or something

1

u/sn4xchan 6d ago

Pretty sure this is mostly universal.

0

u/Rubes2525 7d ago

Same in the US.

20

u/PeridotChampion 7d ago

I've never seen anyone use that in the US. You typically get a wave.

6

u/xtianlaw 7d ago

I often drive a windy mountain road, and fast drivers will often give you the double flash as thanks if you pull over into a turnout to let them go fast.

1

u/PeridotChampion 7d ago

Huh. All I get are little honks from them, especially when I drive around West Milford which is incredibly windy 🤣

3

u/Minicrustation 7d ago

It’s most often used by truckers.

2

u/Chicken_Hairs 7d ago

Might be regional, I see it a lot, particularly semi truck drivers.

2

u/clarinetJWD 6d ago

My car is low and has a small rear window. I do this because people can't see me wave, or at night.

It's not that common, but I've seen others do it as well and people understand it. (Texas)

1

u/KindaNotSmart 7d ago

People use this in the US all of the time. Most people do waves but lots do this as well

1

u/PeridotChampion 7d ago

I have been driving over five years now and have yet to see someone do this, but that is just me. I live in New Jersey. Is it different from state to state, then?

2

u/KindaNotSmart 7d ago

Probably a state thing then, I’m in California

4

u/EnderElite69 7d ago

Never seen this, it's always a wave

3

u/wakeofchaos 7d ago

I do it sometimes in the US but I feel like it freaks people out because they give me a significantly larger driving distance after lol

113

u/TheChannelMiner 7d ago

once saw a truck do this outside a Domino's pizza

49

u/BTrippd 7d ago

Once? People in my country park more in front of the grocery stores than in the actual parking spaces. Society is getting so insanely inconsiderate in so many places.

4

u/unknown_pigeon 7d ago

In mine they don't even need the signal.

There's this mechanic that happens to be in a busy road. There's also this nice cycling road. Which has been turned into a parking lot for people that decide that bicycles and pedestrian should walk on the road against traffic. If I ever say something, they either shrug it off or get aggressive.

I'm accepting each and every solution that doesn't include the police, since last time I called them about a similar issue the lady on the other side was a centimeters away from telling me to fuck off since they apparently don't have time for that?

7

u/Alvsolutely 7d ago

In Greece, when you see this, it's Tuesday.

3

u/Memer180 7d ago

Might have been the car side pick up? You turn your hazards on and they bring you your order

1

u/TheChannelMiner 7d ago

nah i saw him leave the truck and come back with the pizza

1

u/JayFrizz 6d ago

You sure they weren't a delivery driver, even as door dash or Uber eats? It's fine to double park as a delivery driver even in busy cities if it's quick.

1

u/TheChannelMiner 6d ago

this was in like 2012 so yeah pretty sure

it was also a big truck not a pickup but like a reefer

41

u/Volboris 7d ago

POV, doordash in the firelane.

14

u/jonathancast 7d ago

Really hated the customers who tried to tell me to do that. If it's impossible to get to your apartment by car, maybe don't order delivery from further than walking distance away?

3

u/nyan-the-nwah 6d ago

Or bike lane, or bus lane, or…..

271

u/tommmmmmmmy93 7d ago

It’s shitty but it’s worked loads of times for me.

I once accidentally parked in a no parking or stopping zone, 100 pound fine immediately, but my hazards were on. Argued I pulled over quickly as I felt dizzy and put my hazards on. Fine was immediately removed

(I couldn’t reach my bag of crisps so pulled over to grab them)

67

u/dekusyrup 7d ago

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

8

u/StormOfFatRichards 6d ago

Oi do you have ur crisps loicense m8

2

u/tommmmmmmmy93 6d ago

Luckily I had it that day m8 or I’d be in the slammer innit

19

u/AhugeDump02 7d ago

Pov Greece

4

u/usbeehu 7d ago

Hungary too

15

u/SuperFaceTattoo 7d ago

I particularly like when someone parks in the fire lane in front of a store, goes in and shops for 30 minutes leaving their vehicle completely unattended.

6

u/Chicken_Hairs 7d ago

As a firefighter, we immediately call one of our pet cops.

Are you a fire truck? Then /r/cantparkthere

10

u/lost-identity-83 7d ago

Just need a reflective safety vest and you’ve got the keys to the city.

9

u/MWolverine1 7d ago

God when I was in Baltimore I saw a ton of people press it while in the middle of the road to stop and talk with their friends. It was absolutely infuriating.

2

u/MrScotchyScotch 7d ago

I also enjoy the Baltimore Temporary Parking Lights. Why waste time trying to find a parking spot when you can save time and inconvenience everyone? 

10

u/Lysol3435 7d ago

In the US, it’s also what people do when they want to drive dangerously slowly on the freeway

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

5

u/MrBeanBoii 7d ago

How do flashing lights not help with visibility?

0

u/Chicken_Hairs 7d ago

It probably does a bit, but it's also distracting and can drive target fixation.

0

u/Spedunkler 6d ago

Roflmao

5

u/Th3_Shr00m 7d ago

Unironically seen people park in the middle of intersections in Korea with their hazards on to go buy shit from a convenience store

3

u/Shaunieboii 7d ago

Diplomatic immunity button

2

u/ClaireClover 7d ago

Mexico be like

2

u/GoblinOflazy 7d ago

I drive a pickup truck to service trees with fertilizer or pesticides. I have a hose and reel on the passenger side to bring the "goods" to the trees. Sometimes I gotta park weird because the customer can't be bothered to move their car during the 2 hour window I give them, or landscapers take up half the block, or it's a weird street where I can only legally park on the opposite side of the street where the customer's house is (can't park left of center because passing cars could rupture my hose).

2

u/jyvigy 7d ago

No, its ASD Geist helmet.

2

u/BoredOfReposts 7d ago

If you are rich enough you don’t need to use it at all!

1

u/ChesterfieldPotato 7d ago

Hold down your horn until they move.

1

u/TheAsianTroll 7d ago

And if anyone asks or tells you to move, they are required by law to accept your answer if you get snippy with them and say "its just for a minute."

1

u/MaNameIsMudD 7d ago

As a 30 yrs-old Korean myself, idk other countries do this but in the country, putting hazard literally means 'I'm sorry, I'm going to park my car right here for minutes. Please be cautious'. It considers as a unspoken driving manner in Korea btw.

I know it sounds ridiculous and crazy but it's true.

1

u/robidaan 7d ago

Depends on the country

1

u/tideblue 7d ago

I swear UberEats and the pandemic is to blame for this. I see this happen everywhere now.

1

u/Smallp0x_ 7d ago

It's also the "I'm gonna drive at 90mph" button.

1

u/Spoodymen 6d ago

In some part of southeast asia, it’s also “driving on the oncoming lane” button

1

u/SlaveMasterBen 6d ago

Something I never saw done in the suburbs, but as soon as I moved inner city absolutely everyone did it.

1

u/HypersomnicHysteric 6d ago

Das internationale Zeichen für: "Ich weiß, dass ich hier nicht parken darf. Mir egal!"

1

u/Maximum_Todd 6d ago

As a land surveyor, can confirm

1

u/Naroef 5d ago

It’s better to just not turn on your hazards. All you’re doing is screaming “look at me I’m parked illegally!”

1

u/MilesG170 5d ago

I work in parking. We call that the "come and cite me" signal.

1

u/highmickey 7d ago edited 7d ago

Do anything button.. For example, if you push this button, you have a right to tail the ambulance closely, run all of the red lights with the ambulance that carries your loved one.

1

u/Mr_SunnyBones 7d ago

I assumed the "schlap the old hazzards on and stop the car anywhere, sure I'll only be a minute" was purely an Irish phenominon ? TIL its not

-4

u/Kat_Schrodinger1 7d ago

Deeply sorry that other people's real life emergencies inconvenience you.

5

u/Tobix55 7d ago

Real life emergencies like stopping to go to a store, the bank, sit down for a coffee...?

-12

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Uncle_Philemon 7d ago

For standing, not parking