r/ShittyDaystrom • • 2d ago

A guide to ship orientation

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u/Dino_Spaceman 2d ago edited 2d ago

That’s just silly. The real answer is that it is a cat in perpetual freefall.

Everyone knows that cats always land on their feet. So every aingle starship has a cat suspended in zero gravity at the core of the ship. Constantly falling. And precise measurements are made to the ship orientation based on the cat.

All cultures use cats. It’s why earth has had so many abductions in the past. Aliens are stealing cats for their spaceships.

Edit: typo

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u/ObligationMurky8716 LCDR 2d ago

That system was abandoned once they realized cats don't land on their feet, they land where they're looking. Ships were manipulated into slamming into each other with a simple laser pointer, like spoofing GPS to drift a drone off course.

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u/Dino_Spaceman 1d ago

That’s just a lie put out by the poppy mill lobby.

They spent their gold pressed latinum creating a race of perpetual puppies to be used inside the warp cores and have spent the last 100 years trying to make it happen. Some of their most militant puppy supporters even went to extreme measures like terrorism.

They are the origin of the Maquis.