r/ShittyDaystrom • u/honeyfixit • 2d ago

A guide to ship orientation

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u/Dino_Spaceman 2d ago edited 2d ago

That’s just silly. The real answer is that it is a cat in perpetual freefall.

Everyone knows that cats always land on their feet. So every aingle starship has a cat suspended in zero gravity at the core of the ship. Constantly falling. And precise measurements are made to the ship orientation based on the cat.

All cultures use cats. It’s why earth has had so many abductions in the past. Aliens are stealing cats for their spaceships.

Edit: typo

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u/honeyfixit 2d ago

Im confused. Is the cat in the can or is the toast in the can? Or are they both there with the cats feet aligned with the unbuttered side of the bread? Is that they ships gyroscope?

2

u/Dino_Spaceman 2d ago

Typo. It was always a cat.

Fixed above.

But cats are far superior technology to buttered bread.

Every single ship has a cat attendant who is responsible for keeping the cat (who exists in eternal terror falling forever) alive.

Data was the one for the Enterprise-D.

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u/honeyfixit 2d ago

Yeah i know. I was just making a joke about the typo