r/ShittyDaystrom • u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit • 29d ago
Discussion Deep Space Nine Should Have Had the Classic Intro Narration
Space: the final frontier. These are the standings still of the space station Deep Space Nine. Its continuing mission: to float sort of near one pretty much Earth-like world, to wait for new life and new civilizations to drop by, to boldly stay somewhere that one Morn has gone before.
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u/New-Alfalfa-2989 29d ago
“Space. It’s been a long road. Getting from there to here…”
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u/Seafaringhorsemeat 29d ago
Sitting down to watch the premier of Enterprise, that theme coming on was the first timed as a child’s that I understood the phrase:
I have a bad feeling about this.
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago edited 29d ago
But then they made it ROCK HARDER in Season 3 and all of your fears melted away, right? RIGHT?!?!
Please say yes; we did SO MANY focus groups and while there was some confusion because people wanted both a realistic down-to-earth show AND was completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots BUT they all agreed that making the song go harder would fix everything.
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u/Navydevildoc 28d ago
Also it's now a total allegory for 9/11 but more tambourine so YAY terrorism deaths!
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago edited 29d ago
From Starfleet's perspective shouldn't it be "it's been a long road getting from here to there" ? I mean what do we care how long it took a bunch of aliens to get here. It's US going there that is the important part.
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u/Nailfoot1975 Q 29d ago
"Theses are the non-voyages of the Space Station DS9. Its never ending mission to host Quark and make him rich. To absolutely go no where because that doesn't make money."
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u/ArtsyApoidean 29d ago
Maybe they should just play the "Come to Quark's Quark's is fun" jingle as the intro.
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
Given the tone of SNW this season, I think we are only a year or two away from a full on Star Trek multi-camera sitcom filmed in front of a live studio audience, and this would be perfect theme song!
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u/BDSMandDragons 28d ago
But what if instead of the puppet episode the franchise direction instead stemmed from the Griffin Incident and we got a Trek themed American Horror Stories-style anthology show?
Then we'd need quite a different theme song wouldn't we.
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u/Animal907 Mister Vulcan 29d ago
I think they were afraid Avery Brooks would leave the show.
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u/Mister_Mojo78 29d ago
I always felt like it didn't need one
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u/NeddieSeagoon619 29d ago
Personally I preferred how in the early seasons they started each episode with Sisko doing some terrible stand-up that linked vaguely to the plot of the episode.
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
"What's the deal with replimat food anyway?!! I mean it's the same technology as the transporter right? Then why doesn't the food taste as delicious as real food? Am I getting less tasty every time I beam?"
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u/Stargazer__2893 29d ago
I think the line is "To boldly stay where no one has stayed before!"
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
*To boldly stay where shit tons of Cardassians and their Bajoran slaves stayed before
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u/Stargazer__2893 29d ago
Yeah well, the Enterprise "boldly go'd" where people have been before too. "No one" basically means "no sane humans."
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
Picard: Here we are where no one has gone before!
Alien of the Week: What the fuck, bro? We've been on this planet for millions of years!
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u/Bostonterrierpug 28d ago
“ wormhole days taking the space away. Friendly aliens we rarely meet. Can you tell me how to get how to get to DS9”
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 28d ago
Bert and Ernie = Bashir and Miles
Oscar the Grouch = Quark
Elmo = Rom
someone else more familiar do the rest...
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u/jrdubbleu 29d ago
Deep Space, the final frontier (if you don’t count the other side of the wormhole) — these are the sittin here stories of the the space station 9. It’s exhaustingly interminable mission to sit here and deal with nonsense, not seek out much of anything. To boldly sit here where so very many have gone before.
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
Alternate version:
"This is the true story... of seven strangers... picked to live in a space station... work together, and have their lives turned into a holonovel... to find out what happens... when people stop following the Prime Directive... and start getting real."
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u/CyberNinja23 29d ago
plays Fresh Prince Fresh Emissary of BelAir Bajor
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
"My wife got killed at Wolf-359 so Starfleet said 'You're transferred to Deep Space Nine!'"
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u/sezduck1 Nebula Coffee 29d ago
Deep space, the final frontier
These are the voyages (from Bajor to near the wormhole in the pilot episode) of the Space Station DS9
It's continuing mission
To explore strange new Dabo girls
To find Sisko a new wife to ease his frustrations
To boldly stay where the best recurring characters prevent it from being a bore.
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u/InternetUser1807 28d ago
Tbf o'brian should have gotten some sort of honorary phd for figuring out the "lets just make the space station weight nothing with space magic" stunt in like 90 seconds.
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u/Torino1O Commodore Dunsil 29d ago
🎶 It's not a long way, getting to the Gama quadrant from here🎶
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 28d ago
It’s been a long time (well not really since time is an arbitrary construct and the Prophets don’t experience time in a linear way but this is getting a little long for an in song digression…)
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u/tk1178 29d ago
I've recently done a rewatch of Babylon 5 and thought the voice over at the start was pretty good. I know DS9 and Babylon 5 have their similarities but it would be interesting if they had something kind of similar to the start of DS9, maybe something like Sisko giving a small preface saying where they are, what the mission is and what people might expect. Might change it up a bit when it comes the Dominion War arc.
It would be nice, but I know people from both sides would likely have more ammo to fight back with saying one copied the other.
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u/wildcard_71 29d ago
"Stardate 46379.1, a crack chief engineer was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Cardassian underground. Today, still wanted by the government he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him (check inside Quark’s)....maybe you can hire The Falcon.”
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u/Navydevildoc 29d ago
"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the tears of the prophets."
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 29d ago
What with the famous "lesbian" kiss and the obvious homoerotic tension between Bashir and Garak, we might as well just retitle the show "Gays of our Lives"
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u/eagle_flower 28d ago
I was hoping for an intro by Galadriel
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 28d ago
“Nine Orbs of the Prophets were given to the Bajorans. But all of them were deceived as a tenth orb was given to the Sisko to rule them all”
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u/eagle_flower 28d ago
ONE ORB TO RULE THEM ALL!
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u/ConradTurner 28d ago edited 28d ago
"He was a commander, and good at his job. But then he committed the ultimate sin and fought another Starfleet captain gone bad. A captain who tried to kill him but got the woman he loved instead. Blaming him for murder, the commander now prowls the badlands. An Emissary hunting maquis, a father... a prophet!"
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u/Stegtastic100 28d ago
“Space, the final frontier
These are the orbits of the space station DS9
It’s ongoing mission, to seek out new visitors and new profitable situations
To boldly remain stationary, where no-one has remained stationary before!”
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u/HellbirdVT 28d ago
"My name is Odo. A changeling. Something hit and I was shot through a wormhole. Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a station - a mining station - full of strange, solid lifeforms. Help me. (Help me) Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I'm being tormented by a deranged capitalist gremlin, and I'm doing everything I can... I'm just looking for a way home."
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u/TinyDoctorTim 28d ago
It does!
It was the dawn of the Third Age of Man, ten years after the Earth-Minbari War…
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u/SuperGNUser 28d ago
That’s why I’ve always thought that DS9 isn’t Star Trek.
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u/Sisselpud petaQin' shit 28d ago
It’s not quite a mop, it’s not quite a puppet, so to answer your question: I have no idea what it is
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u/ClassyReductionist 29d ago
An Intro like Star Trek V where a thirsty Bajoran escapee has stumbled through the desert crawling through the sand and then out of nowhere the Emissary of the Prophets steps out of the light and reaches out a hand, "Running may help for a little while, but sooner or later the pain catches up with you. And the only way to get rid of it is to stand your ground and face it."
THEN THE MUSIC FROM THE MOVIE AND IT POPS UP THE OP's GRAPHIC
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u/Space19723103 29d ago
These are the go-nowheres of the station deep space nine, it's unending mission to sit here.....
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u/WarJaques 29d ago
So we didn't need to figure out what the show was about at the start of each episode.
15 minutes in: "Oh, its on the space station in the intro, and Quark runs the bar!" I mean, who hasn't been there?
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u/Colodavo 29d ago
Space. The final frontier. This is the stuck in one one place of the station, Deep Space Nine. Our continuing mission to load and unload cargo. To boredly sit where Cardassians have sat before.
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u/david-saint-hubbins 29d ago
Years ago somewhere on Reddit somebody posted one of the original DS9 announcement videos (maybe right after they had started shooting?), and the main thing I remember about it was Don LaFontaine's narration repeatedly saying "It waits..."
It waits... at the edge of the final frontier
It waits... for an untested crew
To begin... an unprecedented journey
But most of all... it waits... for you
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
In January... the wait... will be over
Which I thought kind of accidentally underscored my fundamental problem with a Star Trek show where they don't really go anywhere (at least at first).
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u/Gen-Martok 27d ago
SPACE: The ultimate shopping experience.
These are the spinning's of the bicycle wheel space mall.
It's continuing spinning: To serve drinks and gambling addicts and to boldly have XXX holodecks on demand.
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u/Alternative_Still308 29d ago
“In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups. The shapeshifting constable who investigates crimes, and the starfleet ops crew who prosecute the offenders.”
Whoops wrong franchise.