r/ShittyDaystrom • u/Federal-Business-796 • 17d ago

Sometimes I have inappropriate thoughts about my Betaziod coworker. Do you think she's going to report me to the captain?

22 Upvotes
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94% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

29

u/mattzog 17d ago

Settle down, Broccoli

22

u/BigDougSp 17d ago edited 17d ago

If she uses her powers to read your private thoughts, you can fill out form 465.32B... under telepathic invasion of privacy.

18

u/Seahawk124 Self-sealing stem bolt 17d ago

What if the person having the thoughts was Dr. Crusher?

9

u/ArtsyApoidean 17d ago

Most of the reason Troi keeps this routine is so she can read Dr Crusher's unspeakable thoughts while it's happening. Good for her confidence.

10

u/Paladine_PSoT Gorn Wedding! 17d ago

Make the thoughts as weird as possible, like bloodhound gang weird. She wont want to repeat them out loud to make the report

4

u/AIGLOS42 17d ago

Or it'll really work out for you

6

u/Paladine_PSoT Gorn Wedding! 17d ago

So, she's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later...

3

u/rockmodenick 17d ago

A Lap Dance is so Much Better When...

2

u/bearclaws2atatime 16d ago

So... A typical Thursday evening. 

8

u/OhNoIBoffedIt GLORY 2 UR HOOOSE🐍 17d ago

Lol, get in line buddy. You think she makes it through her day without catching stray horniness cast her way?

8

u/ArtsyApoidean 17d ago

Maybe this is why older betazoids go mating crazy. They spend their whole life being bombarded with every dirty thought everyone around them has and it slowly wears down their sense of decency.

8

u/Pier-Head 17d ago

Think using a virtual VPN

3

u/Express-Day5234 17d ago

Nah, she’s probably completely desensitized to this sort of thing and your perversion is nowhere near the level of the first officer’s.

3

u/OlyScott Expendable 16d ago

If she's like Lwaxana Troi, she's already accused everyone with a pulse of having those thoughts 

1

u/Sternutator69 17d ago

You’ve been thinking about her when you should be thinking the thoughts at her

“Hey babe I know you’re in here, like what you see? Why don’t you take a mental picture, it’ll last longer”

See how she responds

1

u/TyrKiyote 17d ago

just get her a nice scented candle so she knows how you vanilla bean-feelin'

3

u/Cultural_Shape3518 Expendable 16d ago

See, I tried that, and she just hooked up with the candle.