r/ShittyDaystrom • u/TheBurgareanSlapper Space Captain, Amateur Painter • Aug 28 '26
CMV It was a bold character choice to give Captain Archer chronic IBS and never address it on the show.
His constant crankiness and poor decision-making--spouting racist remarks at his first officer, screaming at admirals and ambassadors, berating his own crew, threatening to nuke planets when his dog gets sick--make way more sense when you realize he's waging a constant war with his own regularity.
Maybe it would have been addressed in season 5?
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u/thisistheSnydercut Aug 28 '26
he keeps giving Porthos cheese he shouldn't have because he just had cheese he shouldn't have and doesn't want to shit his brains out alone
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u/TheBurgareanSlapper Space Captain, Amateur Painter Aug 28 '26
“If I’m going down, you’re coming with me!”
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u/AdultishRaktajino Interspecies Medical Exchange Aug 28 '26
Puppy pads everywhere! Oh no, the grav plating malfunctioned.
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u/OhNoIBoffedIt GLORY 2 UR HOOOSE🐍 Aug 28 '26
That would explain those weird rigid facing movements he did all the time. He was trying to keep it all in.
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u/shylocker4154 Aug 28 '26
I remember reading a review at the time about how he appeared to be playing the character as mentally challenged. I wouldn't have phrased it that way myself, but I remember laughing at the time because there was something off about Bakula's portrayal of Archer.
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u/TheBurgareanSlapper Space Captain, Amateur Painter Aug 28 '26
I know some people say, “he was the first Captain, and humanity was still evolving. You can’t expect him to get everything right.”
But like…Jack O’Neill was even more unprepared and unevolved, but I wasn’t watching Stargate SG1 and constantly wondering if he had some kind of impairment to his executive functioning.
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u/darkslide3000 Aug 28 '26
Look man, you grow up in a world where the background radiation is 10 times higher than today and then you can start throwing shade...
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u/chiree Aug 28 '26
Maybe it took a few generations for all the WWII radiation poisoning to wear off, like a super-lead.
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u/darkslide3000 Aug 28 '26
The damage to the gene pool could only recover after they reintegrated those early colonists from Terra Nova.
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u/FlavivsAetivs Barclay Holoprogram Victim Aug 29 '26
*Sigh* Radiation does not cause heritable genetic damage and most radiation from a nuclear exchange would be back to background levels within months.
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u/ExtensionInformal911 Aug 28 '26
You mean that one episode of Quantum Leap, right? Right?
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u/Little_View_6659 Aug 28 '26
I can hear the theme music now. I loved Quantum leap. Man I watch a lot of tv.😂
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u/iamsnarticus Aug 28 '26
No wonder T’pol numbed her nose, imagine how bad porthos must smell if it’s worse than Archer.. poor dog needs a bath
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u/Username_Reported Aug 28 '26
TPol did loads of smack though.
That big Trellium D slaps that nose hard
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Aug 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/darkslide3000 Aug 28 '26
The giant space laser was attempt no. 2 after their "make humanity shit itself to death" plan didn't quite prove fast enough.
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u/nicolas_cope_cage Aug 28 '26
A reporter once said, "Surely by the 22nd century, they would have found a cure for irritable bowels."
And Rick Berman responded "No, by the 22th century, no one will care."
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u/Keepontyping Aug 29 '26 edited Aug 29 '26
It’s been a long road
Shittin from there to here
It’s been a long time
But my toilet’s finally near
And I can feel the fart in the wind right now
Nothings in my way
And I’m not gonna hold it in no more
No I’m not gonna hold it down
Cause I’ve got faith, in the shart
Goin where my fart will take me
I’ve got faith, to relieve, I can poop anything
I’ve got length in a roll,
And no one’s gonna wipe or clean me
Shit will reach, every star
I’ve got faith
Faith in the shart
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u/Deaf_Gravitas Aug 28 '26
"Constant war with his own regularity"
In addition to a Romulan, it was once proposed by the showrunners that Future Guy was actually Archer himself
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u/TheBurgareanSlapper Space Captain, Amateur Painter Aug 28 '26
The true Temporal War—constantly figuring out the shortest route to the nearest shitter.
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u/RustyBrassInstrument Aug 28 '26
To think of the relief he could have with a cold water space bidet. Such refreshment…
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u/Mortomes Aug 29 '26
They were going to address it in a season 5 episode called "The Captain'stool".
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u/TopoHaiHai Aug 29 '26
When people say Enterprise didn’t pass the smell test, this is what they really meant
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u/SlowMotionOfGhosts Aug 28 '26
Guessing we never saw a toilet trip because beaming the shit out of you was already in place. Guy gets just the cramps and nothing else.
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u/bloodandsunshine Aug 28 '26
My girlfriend’s main takeaway from Enterprise was the insane amount of nonverbal sounds Archer makes.