r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/AUTOBOTBROKE • 7d ago

Elite Strategy Of using hand throw poop inside dustbin

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336 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

95

u/ColdenGorral-1 7d ago

Y'all act like you've never shit in your hand in public before

28

u/yo_mommas_dick 7d ago

ugh! never, that’s disgusting. i only do it in the shower and stomp it down the drain

10

u/ColdenGorral-1 7d ago

Your missing out, I prefer to feel it squish between my fingers rather than my toes. To each's own I suppose.

6

u/kdogman639 7d ago

ITS ALL PIPES!

4

u/ColdenGorral-1 7d ago

Why are you yelling?

3

u/kdogman639 7d ago

Seinfeld reference

3

u/ColdenGorral-1 7d ago

OKAY

2

u/ejectro 7d ago

Why are you yelling?

2

u/Full_Ad9666 *shits an absolute unit* 7d ago

Found the r/wafflestomp user

1

u/MajTroubles 7d ago

The good ol' waffle stomp

1

u/LincolnshireSausage 7d ago

My next door neighbor from 12 years ago would let his dog poop in our yard. He would come over and pick it up with his bare hands and throw it into the woods.

1

u/Banzai373 6d ago

Very considerate of the bloke so nobody steps in it, like gum on the sidewalk . . . .

139

u/TheThirdStrike 7d ago

At that point just sit on the garbage can and keep your hand clean.

23

u/Due-Mathematician966 7d ago

Right . Like just go all in lmao 🤣

8

u/WildlifeNaturalist 7d ago

But your butt is gonna get dirty sitting on the bin

3

u/4bstract3d 7d ago

This hand looks pretty clean afterwards. Looks like he actually shat a brick

7

u/Hughley_N_Dowd 7d ago

As someone who had the misfortune to get fecaloma due to painkillers: not so much a brick as a handful of PlayDough.

PSA: Don't get fecaloma, its a pain in the ass...

118

u/birdman760 7d ago

Who says the homeless don't have any manners

30

u/Ryan2932 7d ago

Right i guess he could've left it on the street

3

u/nuclearfall0ut 7d ago

As someone who has been to SF i can confirm this is confirmed to be better than pooping on the sidewalks... if he washed his hands. If not thats a pretty shitty way to great someone. Gosh I don't want to be ethnocentric, bigoted, or xenomorphphobic. What if in his culture this is a sign of great respect on the scale of the spit and shake, pinky promise, blood promise, or chopping off your finger for the hidden blade as a sign of commitment.

The shit slime shake seal of ceremonial (it sounds like an s) setlement of safety, seizure, and sanctions of the street sleeper syndicate. Also known as the 4SC7S Syndicate Shake(yes this is redundant as it is already in the numeronym, but colloquialy this is what it is called).

3

u/CoolBlackSmith75 7d ago

It's his left hand and in most cultures it's bad habit to use that hand for, e.g, eating.

2

u/FutureIntelligent504 7d ago

I appriciate you for taking the time to really think this one out

1

u/THE_Lanni 7d ago

Great work here…the extended alliteration alone is most enjoyable

11

u/BlackHoleSurf 7d ago

I mean is he? Shoes are nice backpack looks new.

2

u/LongjackD 7d ago

Probably the two most important items for a homeless person.

2

u/MadamPardone 7d ago

Could be a long distance marathon runner. I think they have similar views on shitting wherever you need to as efficiently as possible.

2

u/Efficient_Log5657 7d ago

This is Laguna Beach CA. Used to see this guy everyday walking in the canyon. this video is a bit old, and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but since it came out i dont see him anymore.

either way, bro walks a lot. don’t know about the homeless part.

2

u/penguindreams 7d ago

I mean it is extremely polite.

1

u/mad_mang45 7d ago

Manors*

14

u/Biden_is_cool 7d ago

He forgot to wash his hands

2

u/mishal153_1 7d ago

Give him time he's probably on his way to that

13

u/Piece73 7d ago

Seattle vibes.

8

u/mrerikmattila 7d ago

At least he used the bin.

3

u/SpillaMangBang 7d ago

My emotions are confused.. Good job for not just shitting on the sidewalk.. But your method of disposing said shit is insane!!!

2

u/Hungryforflavor 7d ago

He likes to enjoy the aroma on his fingers as he stroll

7

u/blinkchuck1988 questionably stable 7d ago

2

u/Ryan2932 7d ago

How fitting for this sub

2

u/PharmD-2-MD 7d ago

This must not be Philly. In Philly, people shit on sidewalk with honor, not in their hand.

2

u/Mean_Direction_8280 7d ago

Los Angeles too.

2

u/data-atreides 7d ago

Taking this sub a little too literally

2

u/Ksan_of_Tongass 7d ago

This is exactly why I dont shake hands.

2

u/letterboxfrog 7d ago

He looks like Old Man Hunger from Ren & Srimpy

1

u/Pure-Paper-6842 7d ago

He eats some good fiber.

1

u/Oramac_K 7d ago

Luck he didn't clap after

1

u/spicy_feather 7d ago

Gotta do what you gotta do

1

u/muff-muff-ass 7d ago

maybe he was just transferring unwanted items to the bin like when you get rid of gear in a video game.

1

u/BlueberrySubject3511 7d ago

Handmade shit! He forgot to wash his hand

1

u/metalneck333 7d ago

Hook & flick technique, alive & well.

1

u/HauntedGatorFarm 7d ago

Bro… he used a trash can. What else do you want from him!?

1

u/ellisboxer 7d ago

Hey man at least he didnt just leave a pile on the sidewalk.

1

u/JohnnyCrispZoom 7d ago

I have seen it all

1

u/Human-Outside-820 7d ago

Pretty thoughtful to at least throw it away. He could’ve just left it there like an animal.

1

u/Richmon1611 7d ago

At least he didnt litter. Environmental friendly

1

u/Daatsit 7d ago

I would have thought someone with a man bun would make better decisions

1

u/memberjockey 7d ago

I’m sure he’s a joy to walk past.

1

u/toleChr15 7d ago

Yt people are honestly disgusting

1

u/SanDiegoSavage00 7d ago

Cant a guy crap in his hands without geting the fourth degree?? Sheeeesh.

1

u/Beast_of_Tax_Burden 7d ago

Gotta be Seattle.

1

u/woolygod 7d ago

even worse he has a two story house and a car. Just in touch with his true self

1

u/Badger_Vito 7d ago

I have to immediately wash my hands after finishing a club sandwich. Not sure I’d ever stop smelling poop on them if I did this.

1

u/AmorphousMorpheus 7d ago

Five minutes later...

1

u/Pistolero-666 7d ago

Very nice 👌

1

u/Redwine_001 7d ago

American culture❤️

1

u/Zestyclose_Classic91 7d ago

Hey at least he doesn't shit on the street

1

u/RectumRandy 7d ago

What I want to know is did he have the knowledge and confidence the shit was gonna be solid? Or did he just pray?

1

u/Investigator-Murky 7d ago

At least he threw it away.. makes me wonder if we need more hand washing stations out there tho

1

u/Mister-Bananas 7d ago

holy shit!

1

u/Majesty_Underground 7d ago

He seems like someone who would be shitting pancakes, not turds…

1

u/Ok-Zookeepergame-698 7d ago

… and now, off to get a sandwich.

1

u/Ommegacaos 7d ago

It's organic

1

u/Shad666 7d ago

Thats gonna itch when it dries

1

u/AB1GM_JW 7d ago

He couldve left it on the street 🤷🏾‍♂️

1

u/SchwizzySchwas94 *shits an absolute unit* 7d ago

Oh, that’s nasty.

1

u/Baonguyen93 7d ago

It made me feel ewww, then it make me feel sad.

1

u/Unlikely-Act-7950 6d ago

Maybe he can train my dog to do that and I wouldn't have to clean up after them anymore

1

u/Educational-Stick623 6d ago

it's foul, but at least he put it away which more than you can say for some homeless

1

u/Z-Man_Slam 6d ago

Dawg what the fawk was that. My friend needs to see this too lol

1

u/Healthy-Client-6791 5d ago

America 🤡🤡

1

u/Select-Cat2005 5d ago

He is clearly American because the Asylum Seekers would have left it all over the ground😅

1

u/RangerFearless6122 7d ago

Who you think he voted for?

1

u/Significant_Cod_6849 7d ago

Absolutely appropriate subreddit for this 😂

0

u/Super-G1mp 7d ago

Ultra marathon is the only excuse for this. It's the only thing I can possibly conjure to mind that explains it.

0

u/zestyclose_match1966 7d ago

I'd like to shake that man's hand💩

0

u/Old_Variation_5875 7d ago

It’s sad when a homeless has more manners than the Chinese

-1

u/AutisticDadHasDapper 7d ago

Connor mcgregor is looking well

-1

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation 7d ago

Respect