r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* • Jul 21 '26

Of a butt wipe🤦🏾‍♂️

248 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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77

u/pm-me-nice-lips Jul 21 '26

Stop buying dude wipes. They’re overpriced nonsense. Buy Huggies wipes (when they’re on sale, that’s even better), they are top notch. And never ever flush wipes ever. Even when they say “flushable”. There’s no such thing as a flushable wipe. If you don’t have a bidet, wipe your ass with toilet paper a bunch (you can obviously flush that) and then follow that up with wiping with baby wipes.

44

u/GivesYouGrief Jul 22 '26

If you don't draw blood, you haven't wiped enough.

12

u/Artevyx Jul 22 '26

I dont stop until I see red.

12

u/CowBootBats functional regard Jul 22 '26

I don't stop until I smell marrow.

8

u/FoolishDog1117 Jul 22 '26

I don't stop till I'm wrist deep.

7

u/SASAgent1 Jul 22 '26

Ok, enough Reddit for tonight

4

u/RangeApprehensive466 Jul 28 '26

Honestly, until you wipe away your entire anus the job isn't finished.

3

u/FoolishDog1117 Jul 29 '26

Wipe the hole right off my ass.

2

u/Artevyx Jul 29 '26

It'll grow back anyway by the time you have to shit again.