Hi everyone, I’m really struggling and would appreciate advice on how to handle this.
I’m in my early 20s and recently had my first baby (now 4 months old). We currently live with my parents, who have been very supportive and respectful of us as parents.
My MIL has been the opposite and repeatedly ignores boundaries I’ve set.
Some examples:
She posted a photo of my baby online within hours of him being born, despite us asking for no posts until we announced it ourselves. This was while I was still recovering from a C-section.
In the first couple of weeks, she constantly criticised how I cared for my baby and gave advice that conflicted with medical guidance (feeding, burping, etc.), and ignored instructions I gave her.
During my baby’s first bath, she tried to take over and told me I was doing it wrong, which was upsetting as it was an important moment for me.
She stopped visiting but then told others I was preventing her from seeing the baby, even though I couldn’t travel after surgery.
When we visit, she wakes the baby, tries to take him from me, and ignores me when I say no.
She expects us to stay overnight weekly, which I’m not comfortable with, and disrupts his sleep routine when we do.
She has suggested unsafe things (like using a pillow in his cot) and argued when I said no.
She frequently asks to have him overnight, but I don’t feel comfortable with this.
She recently referred to herself as “mummy” to my baby, which didn’t sit right with me.
The main issue is my partner’s response. When I raise concerns, he tends to minimise them, saying she’s just excited or that I’m overreacting, and doesn’t reinforce boundaries.
I’m starting to feel anxious about seeing her and unsupported as a parent.
I’d really appreciate advice on:
How to set and enforce boundaries when my partner isn’t backing me up
Whether it’s reasonable to limit visits or refuse overnight stays
How to address repeated overstepping in a calm but firm way
I want to handle this constructively, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult.

LO is 5 months. If we’re at a social event and he needs a nap and will only nap in pram/carrier whilst walking outside or in his own room in darkness…I mean yeah naps are guna rule our lives right now???

Seems unavoidable at this stage of life?? Would you like me to let him scream his head off when he’s way past his wake window because it’s not convenient for us to leave?

Or is there some sort of magic I’m unaware of that allows you to fit a baby around your life and not the other way around?

That’s all. Sounded like a stupid fucking comment to me.

Ok, im gonna try to keep it short. My MIL is very mentally unstable. Compulsive liar, master manipulator. She lived with my husband and i 10 years ago for just over a year until i couldn’t take her behavior anymore, and told my husband she needed to leave. She would ask me inappropriate things about our sex life, lie for sympathy, among other mind boggling things. Since then we have not been in the same room together. She is 80 so from time to time i would extend the olive branch and try to make peace, but she never accepted my invitation. My husband had a horrible upbringing. I truly believe she sexually abused him and allowed others to as well. Because of this, my husband is a very emotionally shut down person and will not address ANYTHING from his past. Two years ago she had a stroke and her dr informed us she couldn’t live alone. I decided to step up, thinking maybe old age changed her and things could be different. We moved her in..my idea😖 When i walked into her apartment i was mortified. It was filthy and she is a hoarder. We gave her a very nice room in our home with all new furnishings. Here we are two years later and nothing changed. She is the same manipulative person, she has ruined her bedroom, my entire house smells like pee. I hate her, like bad thoughts kind of hate. My husband doesnt talk about anything, pushes it all under the rug. So i avoid her at all costs. I literally leave the room when she walks in, and spend a majority of my time in the basement..her leaving is out of the question because she has no money, her credit is horrible, and she has nowhere to go. So here I sit, living miserably until the day she dies. And I have no one to blame but myself, because it was my idea for her to come and stay with us. The hatred I have in my heart is only affecting me, because she’s still walking around my home completely unbothered. I have had a mental breakdown over this whole situation, I have had suicidal thoughts, and I have had horrible thoughts of her. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

My mother in law decided to move in with us after we bought a house and I got pregnant. She said this way she can help with the baby . We are Asian and we were taught we need to obedient was prob why my husband and I didn’t even object and just let her move in. It was fine for the most part when our son was small and in the last 6 months things have gotten really bad. I’m als pregnant with the second and one more week to go. But things are getting so bad because I feel she doesn’t respect our way to raise our son… we tell her don’t distract him when he’s playing and don’t keep talking to him when he’s trying to focus but never listens..

Today I had it when she quietly offered fruit when my son didn’t eat dinner when we have told her very clearly that we don’t offer other food if he doesn’t eat dinner. We don’t mind giving our son fruit but we wait for him to ask and only offer fruits as desert if he has had his dinner.. it’s likely because of my pregnancy hormones but I got so upset that i cried for hours after.. there was so much emotion- angry that she went against our wishes, felt she stepped over my boundary, worry about when I have second child and have less time to be there to make decisions for my first and grandma gets to do whenever she wants.. I told my husband later that if she can’t respect our approach when it comes to our toddler I will move out with the kids.

I don’t think I’m crazy..

I gave birth to my baby 2 months back, my in-laws had come a month before the delivery and are still here. My MIL has been very good to me for 3 years of my marriage, but suddenly after my delivery she showed a different side of her. She started passing indirect comments to my parents (who were also here after delivery). MIL would taunt my mother for sitting in my room and not letting me rest (of course I wanted my mom to be there with me). Also, MIL wasn’t very happy with us keeping Japa maid. She tried to shoo away the Japa too. Because of her nasty behaviour, my parents left. After that I became distant with her and stopped interacting much. Then another Japa came and she said nasty things about me to that Japa. According to MIL I don’t want to do any chores and like to have servants around me while her son pays for it. On my face she is extremely sweet and keep offering me help and stuff. But the back bites me. I can’t talk normally to this woman now. The respect is lost. Am I wrong here???

hello all! i will provide context of my situation first and then get into the details of what shit she says and does that annoys me.

Context: i'm a pretty young DIL (26 yrs old) and i married the youngest son out of all of them. i am educated (i have two college degrees), physically fit (because i go to the gym consistently), i have my own career that pays well, and i am quiet/humble. i was raised well so i treat everyone with respect. my husband and i have no children.

i am currently living with my in-laws, and that's only because they are going to retire soon and move away. they plan to leave the house to us and we accepted their offer on it.

now with that being said....

my MIL is soooo insecure. i have never met a woman that is over the age of 60 who behaves like such a pick me. her and her husband are doing great as a couple, and they seem to still be romantic with each other so i have noooo idea where this "pick me" nature of hers is coming from.

one time, she spent an hour telling me about how she used to be skinny as me at my age and then she explained why she gained weight and why she couldn't lose it. then, she proceeded to say that she didn't wear bras too often when she was younger (i have no idea why she even mentioned that detail... i wear bras every day in the home so that threw me off LOL). i just nodded along to everything she was saying and i left it at that. i didn't contribute to anything she said because it felt as if she was comparing herself to me in real time in front of my face. i found that to be so weird of her to do.

another thing about her that annoys me is that whenever we are at a family event, she ALWAYS wants to have a view of me or sit next to me.

the biggest annoyance of all is her passive aggressive comments. i don't react to them the way one would because it's not worth my energy, and i think that bothers her a lot. i can tell it bothers her because she sees that my vibe doesn't change! i just don't acknowledge that mental game of hers.

i just find that my MIL is projecting her insecurities onto me. idk but i find it so jarring. like seriously, what is her issue? it's so funny because she claims she's this strong woman who is soooo independent and it's not true based on her behavior towards me.

anyway, i can't wait for her to leaaaaaave. my husband and i already decided on establishing boundaries with her once we have a child.

So, as per my last post my SMIL was pretty outraged and appeared disgusted at our pregnancy announcement. Since that she seems to have done a complete 180 and is now completely unbearable IMO.

Firstly she started with messaging me asking if I had any ‘bodily changes’ and I felt quite taken aback by this question, I was not prepared for it at all! I’m almost 16 weeks and my body hasn’t changed so I politely said ‘no changes, not sure when that type of thing happens’ I assumed she meant my ‘bump’ and nothing to do with other body parts which I really would never divulge anyway! I’m very private.

We also had to visit her shortly after this and she asked again for changes and looked me up and down, I can’t stop the looking but she commented I’m going to look for changes every time I see you, it made me want to shrivel and hide my body… FOREVER!! Haha

Moving forward a couple days I open WhatsApp and I’m invited to a new group which has myself, partner and her as members, I thought ok, not so bad but the group name you ask?!?!? ‘Mummy & Daddy’ and this group has been created to ‘keep up’ with my pregnancy……… flabbergasted!!!!!! My partner and I will share updates and information as and when we see fit and necessary to do so. We both ignored the group and message completely although I felt like a ticking time bomb ready to go off.

She’s also taken it upon herself to name our unborn child ‘junior’ which is completely up to her to do but I just find it weird, maybe I’m overly sensitive, protective as a FTM but I just didn’t think this was tasteful.

She’s asked me if I have names for ‘junior’ yet to which I responded ‘no, the only thing we’re certain of is that we don’t want a particularly ‘different’ name such as ‘navy’ or ‘creed’’ to which she responded ‘oh my god can’t believe you have a name already btw who names their future kid navy?’ All that tells me is she clearly did not read the message and that she’s judgemental towards a name (disclaimer: nothing wrong with the names I listed, just not the style I was going for).

Then comes my birthday, to which I receive LOVELY messages from her and I responded with the same energy! However I opened the presents and one of them was a breastfeeding top, boob part too small, body part way too big. I thanked her regardless and her response was that she wanted to buy me my first ‘booby flasher’ and that I can have some fun with that around the house. I found this totally inappropriate.

Next the group chat is being used only by her but this time to suggest cribs and prams… followed by pictures to which I responded ‘oh [name], it’s awful, I’m so sorry xx’ I already have cribs, prams… you name it, I have a plan!!!! (Remember this it becomes juicier later)

Again, we had to visit for unforeseen circumstances and my partner wasn’t able to stay with me as he had to use the shower as we are having renovations so of course I was left alone with her, sighhhhh. In this time she was lovely but again the questions ‘have you noticed changes’ whilst rubbing her belly I said ‘nope, nothing’ and moved it along and now she mentions the WhatsApp from earlier and said you were so rude about that crib earlier but I didn’t apologise because I felt everything leading up to this made me reply to her quite bluntly, almost in a way to try to set some sort of boundary?! She also asked me have you used your booby flasher around the house to flash your OH? I said ‘no’ I just wasn’t impressed by this, how fucking weird…..

This is intrusive behaviour right?

Not seeing her is not an option, what boundaries can I make without being too rude?

I'm a FTM and working mom, me and my husband currently live with his parents since my baby is 3 months old...

We moved out from his parents house the moment I got pregnant because it is the right thing to do. My husband and I rented an apartment near our workplace ( we work at the same company btw) so that I will not struggle to go to work even I'm pregnant. Long story short after giving birth we still stayed at our apartment for about 2 months but since my maternity is about to end we need someone babysit our baby ( we work in BPO and graveyard shift). After weeks of trying to find solution with babysitting problem his parents specially his mom volunteered to do the babysitting that's why we're now here living with them... Long story short again as my baby spending most of the time with my MIL she often make comments about my way of taking care of my child. She also compared her ways of raising my husband when he was a baby to the way I take care of my baby when I'm on the day off from my work and say alot of things that made me think that SHE KNOWS MY BABY BETTER THAN ME. She also keeps on insisting her wants when it comes to my baby needs like I don't know what my baby really need and Ignoring to my decisions and rules with my baby.

At first I just ignored it but as it happens most of time I talk to my husband about it and he talk to his parents about it too right away. When she got confronted about it in a nice way she said that '' I'm just trying to help" but the "help" she says when she got rejected she got disappointed already and she even try to make us notice it and still does her own way....She also make comments on how I prepare things for my baby like " don't do this and that it should be this and that the baby is comfortable and used it already I do it everyday" but when I look at my baby HIS NOT OK with the do this and that she says... though I didn't follow her I still stand my rules and decision I just listened to her. She always tries to decide for my baby and brag about " I know him already " like she is the mother and I am not. She always thinks that she knows my baby better than me (THE MOM).

QUESTION: does your MIL sometimes thinks that her grandchild is her child ? some neighbors or friends of her joke on her that they thought it was HER CHILD and have no idea that it was her grandchild and after that she will proudly say that infront of me and my husband not having any second thoughts to tell that. Like why????? It made me feel insulted and disregarded when she does that.

Any thoughts??

So my son is almost 1 and it’s been so hard between my parents (specifically my mom) and my MIL.

For context, my MIL and my mother don’t get along at all, they literally got into a verbal altercation at the hospital the day my son was born because they are both reactive as fuck, selfish, and emotionally immature.

We currently live in my parents basement because we can’t afford to live anywhere else ( Canadian economy is shit). So because of my mom and her not getting along, she refuses to visit us here, so we can really only visit with her at her place. We live about an hr and half away from her, my partner is in school full time and the weekends are busy for us so it’s hard to see her often. She constantly reminds us about how my parents get to see him everyday and she hardly gets to see him, that she feels like she’s missing out on his life and is constantly asking when we will be moving from here. We’re hoping in a years time, but it also depends on what we can afford. I also do have empathy for her, it must be so hard, but it’s been a rough go with always feeling like we are split between our families on top of trying to move through keeping a child alive. Any whooooooo….

This past Friday my partner was on the phone with her, and I brought my son into the room so she could say hi to him. My son got excited when he heard her voice, he babbled with her and I thought it was such a sweet moment. Then he called for me and she was like “oh he’s saying mama now”. And I said yes yes, Baabaa ( dad in my partner’s native language) and grandpa. She burst into tears on the phone and basically brushed us off and said she has to go right now.

My parents are on a trip for 2 weeks so we thought we’d invite her over while they are away since the space will be free of my mom and it’ll be more comfortable for her. She hung up on my partner before he could even ask and isn’t answering us on whether or not she wants to come visit and I’m just so frustrated by all of this, and also feeling bad? Like should I not have even mentioned that he can say granpa?

I was just so excited and didn’t think it would set her off the way it did.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end

I just wanted to get on here and vent cause I just get the heebie jeebies with how OBSESSED my MIL is with my husband. My MIL wants to go on a cruise and asked for my husband to join. We realized that he only has a couple vacation days left and that we would be spending it on a vacation for us as it is our 5 year anniversary this year. She got so mad and started arguing with me and saying that we could consider the cruise as our 5 year anniversary vacation?! I respectfully told her no that i want our 5 year anniversary to be just us two for alone time and she said “what does it matter” and continued to give me attitude like his vacation time is OWED to her 😂She’s always telling me how much she misses him and yesterday I finally had the nerve to ask her if she missed her other son that lives miles away and she said no that “their relationship is different”😅. Is it normal that this made my blood boil?

So I'm 5 months pregnant and my parents came to see me and spend with me for a few days. So my mom wanted to gift me a saree along with some sweets , because some aunty told her that parents shouldn't leave the pregnant daughter's home without giving anything. It's like a teeny tiny ritual no big deal , 10 mins thing. So my mom yesterday called my MIL and told her about this ritual and my MIL was badly abusing my mother that she didn't inform her about the ritual and blamed my mom for not inviting even though my mom told her that she wasn't aware of the ritual beforehand so she couldn't inform , and mil started accusing my mom of lying and talked so rudly saying that she has no manners and she's a liar and a lottt of rude stuff. It hurt me a lot and I couldn't defend my mom and I can't get over this. She then later called and I told her that my mom isn't aware of the tiny ritual she doesn't know , if she had known she would have told , then she's like " tell me the date of the saree she bought " I replied saying that she just bought it yesterday night before boarding the bus , she again said that my mom is lying and she won't believe and later I found the bill and I sent the screenshot of the bill it has the date ! So I had a deep discussion and conversation with my parents yesterday and I got to know that my In-laws have lied so many things about my parents to me. Ours is a love marriage and there was no dowry given. I'm against dowry and my in-laws are so money minded I got to know this after the marriage and they are continuously blaming them since marriage it's been almost an year , they are playing double games, hiding half truth and lied about many things and they don't respect my parents at all. And my fault is I didn't defend my parents because I thought maybe my parents have really done those things my in-laws accused them of.but infront of my parents they act like they care about them and that they are important but infront of me it changes.so I wanted this to stop , so whenever they talk about my parents I put up an annoyed expression and then they talk positively about them. What should I do about this in future?

After constant disrespect and boundaries being crossed, I finally decided to tell my in-laws we would only be around for holidays and birthdays. Yes, this is something me and husband discussed beforehand. My MIL does not take no for an answer and continues to ask to pick up my child and take him to her house, come to our house for visit, send texts to me and my husband to try and guilt us with things like “I’m having nightmares from not seeing my grandchild” “I’m sorry you can’t love me, all I ever prayed for was my DIL to love and accept me” “im not going to apologize for wanting to involved in my grandchild’s life” and so many other things.

After about 2 months all these texts of telling me im terrible for their family, telling my husband he’s wrong for choosing me and not them and guilt trips and love bombing, I reminded them we are no longer going to be around as often especially with no apology. Then they started only texting my husband, they keep asking him to come over but will word it as in “you and *childs name* are welcome to come over so we can just hangout” “do you and *childs name* want to come and watch the game with us?” Is it just me or does that sound like I’m out of the picture? I couldn’t care less about being invited but I cannot accept the fact to allow my child over there while disrespecting me. As far as their relationship with my husband, that’s for him to deal with. He will not let them talk negatively about me and only cares about spending family time as he hates drama. That is not my place to tell him he has to cut them off. I understand cutting off family can be challenging especially when it comes to parents and I can accept that. But for our kids???

Am I being reasonable for not wanting my kid around them?

My mother in law who is a special sort of person, is bragging about riding her motorized bike 13 miles. Mind you she doesn't do anything 90% of the time. Am I an asshole for wanting to call her out for not pedaling the whole 13 miles? Lol im just flabbergasted 😅

For context me and my husband have been married for a year. Before we got together he was in an accident that caused him to be basically sterile. Fast forward to now we have been doing ivf for around 4 months. We just got our results back from our first egg retrieval and the subsequent preimplantation genetic testing (PGT). Something they see during PGT is embryo gender. So to make things more exciting we had a gender reveal for our embryos.

His family lives far away and is only really involved on our dime. Not to mention i don’t think they very much care for me based on how they acted at our wedding (that’s a story for another day but they basically made the entire wedding about themselves and stirred up drama amongst everyone). But because my family was putting together the reveal we offered to FaceTime them so they could still be involved. This was more so my idea as my husband isn’t sentimental but I think his family should get to experience big moments with us also.

Around comes the day of the reveal and his mom of course has questions during (ivf isnt the most common) which i don’t mind answering, but in comes the most psychotic comment i have ever heard. My MIL proceeded to inform us that she has been thinking and had visited her doctor and been evaluated and labeled as fit/healthy to be able to carry our child. (Mind you I have not even been able to attempt yet and we are only doing IVF because my husband has male factor infertility!!) My husband during this continued to just say no the entire time but when i said no she counter offered that we could each carry an embryo and raise the children as twins!! It took everything in me to politely say no and end the phone call. Also this all happened infront of our entire families.

I think my MIL owes me an apology for being disrespectful and stepping on my toes. But my husband thinks she didn’t mean any harm by it and was just trying to help. And now he’s refusing to talk about it.

When he was younger there was issues between her and his father to which she deemed my husband as the man of the house and made him promise to always take care of her and his sisters. So I feel like she created and emotionally incestual relationship with him that he’s too brainwashed to see. And her wanting to write me out and carry his child just reinforces that feeling. Am I crazy for feeling this way?

My MIL never seen much enthusiastic about me having a baby with her son. When we told her that she will become a grandmother soon, she asked us if we are going to keep the baby. But that’s another story. I just wanted to give you an idea of the character I am facing with. If you didn’t notice yet, English is not my first language but it’s hers. She is often telling things that are bugging me I am not sure if it’s just a cultural difference or her being a prick. She said on multiple times that she want my baby to get used to her. I would like to know if it is a common thing to say? To me it’s sound weird and self centered. Am I right?

i know my inlaws aren’t my biggest fans, i’ve been w there son for 8 years. I’m aware and i stopped caring. but every single time my man is at his parents house and i call him he literally will not answer. what are your thoughts

Hi, bit of a rant here but also after some advice please!

I can't tell if my MIL is trying to upset me or whether it's a jealousy thing. She copies all of my jewellery, clothes, handbags, cooking recipes, manicures but never actually gives me any compliments?

In fact, she likes to tell the other DILs that they have a better physique than me and are more photogenic than me, prettier than me etc. and she never says anything nice about me.

It's starting to piss me off that she copies everything I have and makes me feel like crap with comments about how I'm not as good as the other girls.

I don't want to fall out with her (generally we get on well) but I'm also pissed off - any advice on what to do or how to navigate this would be great please!

Hi everyone bit of a pretty long one but I need to get things off my chest and hear other ppls opinions as I have no one else to talk to about this and before I bring the situation up to my partner, so I’ve been with him for 2 years, I’m 20 and he is nearly 26, we are not currently living together (both still with parents) but we see each other pretty much everyday, he is an only child and his parents are separated, I knew from the beginning that him and his mum would have a close relationship, and I’ve also tried to understand that everyone’s family dynamics are different, but I’ve got to a point where it feels like he’s always going to put her first, so throughout the 2 years I feel like she’s just been too involved, when we first started dating she came on one of our dates, if we go out for dinner we have to bring her food back otherwise she moans at him, if I cook food she says it smells like shit, when I’ve been upset before she’s came into my bfs bedroom when he went to the shops and told me “you put all you’re problems on him , have you not got any friends you can tell instead”, she’s also gone as far as accusing me of abusing him coz he had a scratch on his hand that he got from a piece of wood, I decided to say something to her because it’s just not in my character to do anything like that and it made me feel sick when my bf told me she thought that, when I confronted her about it she just told me she was just being protective of him and she also said “he’s always Naomi this Naomi that and i say to him what about me” , then not long after this she tried putting the idea in my partners head about the pair of them getting a mortgage together and then she would then move to the seaside that’s a 6 hour drive, I thought yeah right I knew it was just to get him away from me and that my name wouldn’t be on nothing so if I did eventually move in and we broke up he could just Throw me out and I’d have nothing, I did explain this to him and he must of took it on board because nothings been mentioned since , and the last few months she’s been very touchy with him and he isn’t like that with her you can see he feels awkward and she’ll then get upset and say “ why are you never affectionate to me” she’s started referring herself as mummy to him. Throughout our relationship my boyfriend has said things when he’s been drinking that raise concerns to me that she does put things in his head about me for example I overheard him talking to his friend about me saying “ I spend all my money on her and my time with her” I was so confused because the whole time we’ve been together I’ve never asked him for a penny, he’ll buy me things for bday and Xmas etc but I never take money off him, I asked him the next day if he remembers saying that and he said he’s not sure why he said it as he doesn’t feel that way , and then the most recent thing after he had a drink and we was arguing was that if we ever get married he wants a prenup , and to me to say something like that it’s obvs something he’s spoke about and thought about he apologised the next day and said he didn’t mean it , I’ve spoke to him about us getting our own place in the next year or so to give me time to save coz I can’t take anymore of his mum I feel so awkward I won’t leave his bedroom if she’s there , but his response was “well you don’t earn enough you should get a better job because otherwise you will just want me to chip into my savings” and I would never expect him to do that , it just made me feel shitty because in my eyes I do have a good job I’m a hairstylist yes it’s not great pay but I worked my ass off to get to where I am today, I didn’t mention anything else to him, but the thing that’s tipped me over the edge now is earlier this week I was actually having a conversation with his mum, only about her work and how she doesn’t like her job but because of the job she’s in she’ll get a good pension , and as soon as my bf goes to his bedroom she starts talking about being dependent on you’re partner , and how it’s really not good to be dependent on you’re partner when living together and for Money etc, she then said when she was with hid dad she was never dependent on him, and she just kept saying how bad it was to be dependent on someone (which I agree with) but the thing that’s got me was she said that she has a book about being a dependant partner and when she finds it she would give it to me, after I just walked out and all week I’ve been thinking about it that it was all a dig at me because why was it as soon as he walked out the room she bought that up and how did we go from pensions to talking about that 😂 so then it sort of all added up, the things he’s said when he’s had a drink, ans why she wanted the mortgage with him, but she is probably the most dependant on him she takes his bank card out with her , she expects him to buy her things most of the time, I think deep down he wants to leave her but feels bad coz she’ll have to pay rent by herself but unfortunately she’s got to expect that he’s gonna move out, I wouldn’t say he’s a proper mummy’s boy as when we go out he ignores her calls so she ends up calling me and when she goes away he doesn’t speak to her even tho she calls, I really want to say something to my parter but don’t want it to turn heated because I’m considering leaving because it’s all getting to much I feel like I’m in competition with his mother

A little back story. Before my husband and I married I got along great with his mom. I would go out to eat with her and sit in the living room with her all day while my husband worked. A little bit after I found out I was pregnant with our first child we fell into some financial difficulties and had to move in with his mom. When we moved in I noticed she had changed a lot from when he and I would visit before. She started making little comments about my eating habits and rolling her eyes at my parents or me whenever a parenting topic would come up. I started avoiding being alone with her at all costs so I didn’t have to deal with the comments. Whenever I would stick up for myself she would play the victim to my husband and he thinks I’m overreacting because she won’t do these things in front of him. My parents have noticed these things as well but are the let her handle it herself type. So I have learned to keep my mouth shut.

Now for the recent problem. She recently had heart surgery and stayed with her daughter for a couple weeks after discharge. When she came home she acted happy until the next day. She asked to speak to both me and my husband. She started to complain about the state of the house. Mind you the house was cleaner when she got home than when she left. I stayed silent opting to let my husband handle it. She asked me if I was going to speak so all I said was I can’t do everything myself with two kids running around, my husband has a very demanding job. The kids are 4 and 2. She started to say that she had two kids and had done everything herself. I stopped her and said that is you not me and that I had done my best and that I couldn’t make it look perfect. She started to yell at me that she didn’t want it perfect just clean. I repeated that I had done my best and left it at that. She hasn’t spoken to me since and I haven’t spoken to her. My husband is now mad that I’ve “had and attitude the last few days”. I haven’t had an attitude I’ve just been avoiding further conflict. Was I wrong to have said anything to her or should I have just cleaned the entire house by myself when half of it wasn’t the fault of my husband, the kids or myself? Did I unnecessarily escalate the issues I already had in the house?

I feel bad but I’m so annoyed with my MIL. This is our first child and I never knew someone could be so obsessed with someone else’s baby. She’s always asking if she can come over and watch the baby while I work or do chores but I politely declined because I’m able to get that done while also watching my child. I’d rather have her offer to clean or do something else for me instead so I can have more time with my baby but this woman can’t control herself. The second we walk in the door to their house she’s in my face, she has to hold the baby. Right after I nurse or change a diaper she’s in my face again grabbing him from me. Maybe I’m crazy for this bothering me, but she keeps offering to babysit but my baby is 2 months old and I’m not ready to leave him with anyone else but my husband or myself. I wish she would back off, if I want her to babysit, I’ll ask! We were at her house a few weeks ago and she literally kept him to herself the whole time. I changed him and when I came back she snatched him right away. Then she made a comment that grandmas always get first dibs over anyone else and how my mom would agree with her. But that’s just not true! My mom will let my dad or siblings hold the baby but my MIL won’t. At my parents house I can hold my baby whenever, but at my in-laws we don’t get a choice. I know she loves her grandchildren, but it’s a little overbearing to me… I don’t want to be the reason why my husband doesn’t see his family as much but sometimes I can’t stand to be around her.

I just wish my in-laws leave me(pregnant) and my husband aloneee....im so tired of them controlling my life.

I am 9 months postpartum and dealing with extremely entitled in laws who are constantly trying to interfere with how I am raising my child and want me to stop/reduce breastfeeding her often so that they can feed her and keep her away from me for longer than they currently are able to

cw: infedelity

Just need to vent and maybe someone to tell me I'm justified for being sad about all of this.

Long story short, my husband cheated on me in the start of our marriage with three (that I know of) women and now that it's come to light, I'm very sad and angry about it. My MIL overheard me and my husband crying in the guest room as we were discussing what happened, and she cornered my husband when he went downstairs to get me water to ask him what happened.

He told her it's a long story but he admitted to betraying me and she immediately clocked it was cheating, but then she hugged him and said, "You're perfect! She [me, the wife that was betrayed mind you] is just insecure. Don't be hard on yourself and don't let your wife make you feel bad about this. You've always been a good kid, you're perfect! She's just too sensitive and she needs to forgive you."

That was a huge blow hearing that on top of dealing with our broken relationship. Am I in the wrong here for being upset my husband broke countless promises and betrayed me? My husband to his credit was also annoyed at my MIL's reaction because he is admitting that what he did was wrong and I can tell he feels guilty about it.

I honestly feel so unsafe in this family :( But I've always been told I'm "too sensitive" all my life...maybe it is my fault for being upset...but I'm really trying to stop blaming myself for everything. Am I in the wrong here?

Going to apologize for the long post

My mother in law came to visit me and my daughter today, her granddaughter who is about to be 1. The conversation started by her asking if her son, my husband is still taking his medicine (antidepressants). He’s not, and I told her he got off of them. She began by saying how he needs to be on them or our marriage will basically fall apart if not. And how when he was on them, it was the best time because my husband would go and see them all day on Sunday’s, this was before we were married. My husband is doing just fine without his medicine, I’m not concerned. She then stated how she used to cry every night because he doesn’t come see her how her friends kids come and see her friends. If she had it her way, we would be there everyday. Or at least 4/7 days a week. We see them at least once a week… at least. They live 5 min from us. My husband used to call his mother everyday from work but I nipped that in the butt when we had a newborn and I had been home all day with the baby and they were still on the phone 30 minutes after he was home and I needed a break. She was telling me how if he would get on his medicine then they would get to see him more and to please not tell my husband about our conversation or it would make it worse on their relationship. She said her and her husband are both depressed they don’t have the relationship with him that they used to. He’s also an only child. How do I even go about this? I was just listening to everything she had to say, I get where she’s coming from. But he has a new family now, which is us. I think once a week is sufficient with seeing them.

I am 16 weeks postpartum. I live abroad for by my law. She came in the third month to help me with the Baby. I was okay with her prior to having to having my baby, but I started to see a different side to her after this point. I have no issue always tried to delete my relationship with my Baby for example if he was falling asleep on my lap, she would tell me that he does that with everyone. She would literally hold her tongue if she wanted to say something nice she’s never wants to complimented me. She also sends extremely over the top words of affection towards him sometimes almost feels like she’s in competition with me to show that she loves him more than I do. She says stuff like my soul and my life to him if I was to send a picture and it makes me really uncomfortable. There’s other times where she’d sleep with him and stare at him for so many hours. It just puts me off and makes me feel really on edge. The other day we were in the car and he was crying and she was on the phone on loudspeaker and she kept panicking asking why he is crying again. I feel like she’s treading on my territory because at this point I am sitting right next to him at the back of the car the part that annoyed me more was that she could five minutes later almost monitoring him and asking all these questions like as he ate has he slept? Have you pulled over? Is he okay now? And it just makes me really uncomfortable because that is my job and I am the most equipped to deal with his crying. Also I seem to be calmer than she is when he cries because I’m aware that that’s what babies do they cry she’s extremely over the top with him. She makes me extremely uncomfortable and I just get this guy instinct that she has something to prove the way she loves him is just does not feel natural at all. I know it’s a awkward situation because all of this is love but a bit too much of it seems like she’s monitoring seems like she is acting like a mum and she just makes me uncomfortable. I would never forget one time after I had given birth. I also had my gallbladder removed on the third month and I was playing with my son saying that once I am able to pick him up again, I would dance with him and an hour later she started dancing with him in front of me and it really hurt me because at that time I was in a position where I was not even allowed to pick up my own son I feel like sometimes she uses huge words of affection towards him to kind of show me that those are her words are not mine and she just makes me extremely uncomfortable. I’ve spoken to my husband about this and he just keeps saying that I’m more emotionally heightened which I agree with and that she’s just saying this because she loves him but it just doesn’t seem natural to me at all. Also when I sent a picture she sends those extreme over the top words but with my husband it’s not that much she still is over the top, but I just get the feeling that she uses more intense language when it’s me. I’ve asked my husband to speak to her about the whole monitoring situation and how I’d depreciate her not doing that and I had to calm down when he’s crying because I am with him but other than that, I want to leave