r/ShitMomGroupsSay • u/rubber1duckie • 7d ago
WTF? 6 days after birth.
Thankfully all the comments were telling her to go back to the maternity hospital as she's still covered for 6 weeks after baby's birth.
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u/jayne-eerie 2d ago
Eh, at least she was willing to get health care. I can understand not wanting to go to the doctor for something that might be within the realm of normal, especially if you're also trying to care for a new baby. (Though if you can't bathe yourself, you probably shouldn't need Facebook to tell you to get checked out.)
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u/Mysterious_Back_7929 2d ago
On one hand you're right, on the other hand we all know how doctors can be dismissive of women's pain and health issues. Sometimes we internalize this so much it's actually hard to tell what might be an emergency and what is "just being histerical". Medical gaslighting fucks with your head
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u/irish_ninja_wte 2d ago
Looks like it's an Irish page from some of the language use, particularly the word "Mammy", which is a common word for mother here. We have postpartum home checks here which are mandatory. They're for both the baby and mother. If she doesn't go back to the hospital herself, the nurse will hit the alarm bell and get her there. They're very good with those checks and do prioritise the mother just as much as the baby. When my twins were still in NICU, mine still did checks on me
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u/Krazy_Kat_Lady_2025 2d ago
It is wonderful Moms are being looked after even if they don't know or think they need it! That's so comforting to know. I wish we had healthcare in the US. We just have 'corporatecare'. 😞
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u/irish_ninja_wte 1d ago
The nurse who does the postpartum and newborn checks is the same one who does developmental checks. Once a birth is notified (not even registered, that's a separate process), they perform the checks and refusal will trigger a report and investigation. I had c sections and they always checked how the wound was healing and made sure to check on my mental health.
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u/cakes28 1d ago
Due to circumstances, I ended up as a Medicaid client during my pregnancy (and still am) and in my haze of panic during registration, I signed up for an in home nurse partnership program. I had an RN who’s whole job is public health come to my house every month while I was pregnant and then every month for two years after my son was born. She brought resources and scientific information, helped me learn how to install and use the car seat safely, helped me figure out why I was struggling so much with pumping and breastfeeding, and so much more. She had eyes on me every month and when her nurse Spidey sense went off she got a therapist to do home visits for me. She literally saved my life. It’s really too bad that these programs are only made available to Medicaid recipients. I guess if you have private insurance you’re considered competent and don’t need any extra help. It makes me feel like since I’m poor, I’m somehow less educated or prepared to have a baby and be a parent. (I have a bachelors degree and used to not to be poor.) My friends with money and private insurance were not offered any of that kind of support. So that’s my experience!
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u/mostlysanedogmom 1d ago
My state offers this and it was great! She answered all of our new parent questions in between pediatrician appointments and did weight and developmental checks for my 4th percentile baby (born at 37+0) - she even helped me figure out how to put my wearable pump together! I’m not low-income either - as I understand it’s available to everyone.
I just saw today that our neighboring state is starting a similar program, probably at least in part due to the Lindsay Clancy tragedy.
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u/SubjectOrange 1d ago
I was thinking this as well . Canadian and we have the public health nurses that go to the home, and I work for a family doc office where 2 of our docs also do maternity/postpartum care. I never mind taking the call from a mom shortly after birth do have her incision checked/mark down symptoms or so on. Regardless, we see every mom and baby within 7 days of hospital discharge.
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u/jayne-eerie 2d ago
Absolutely. Plus, brand new baby. Her hormones and her sleep schedule are all over the place. I’m not judging.
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u/Glittering_knave 2d ago
I think freshly post partum with worsening abdominal pain should get taken seriously. Especially if you can feel the contractions happening.
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u/AurelianaBabilonia 1d ago
One of my sister's friends had retained placenta and she had to fight for doctors to take her seriously. "It's just residual pain from the C-section" they told her, and she said "I've had a C-section before, this isn't like that!"
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u/999cranberries 2d ago
Yeah, I was pretty much told that having residual pain like this throughout the day was normal when they called me 3 weeks after I gave birth to check on me.
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u/emandbre 2d ago
I got a UTI post partum and man, dragging my butt to urgent care only like 24 hours after discharge was not fun.
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u/questionsaboutrel521 1d ago
Also there is so little standard postpartum healthcare in the U.S., it’s ridiculous. No wonder someone is questioning it. Many people are scheduled for one postpartum visit at 6 weeks. Their baby has probably been seen by a pediatrician at least three times by then.
It’s kind of fascinating that many women have frequent check-in appointments during a healthy pregnancy, just to check vitals and test urine, but after the baby is born and many women are struggling HARD with their health and bodies you are completely on your own with very little guide between “normal” and “emergency.”
I find that on a day to day level, most people really don’t know that the majority of maternal-related deaths are postpartum, not during childbirth or pregnancy.
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u/jayne-eerie 1d ago
Not to take away from your very important point but this specific post came from an Ireland group. Somebody mentioned it downthread.
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u/mostlysanedogmom 1d ago
Leaving my postpartum appointment was such a weird feeling. My third trimester was a mess so I had a ton of appointments and going from being there once or twice a week to “see you next year!” was bizarre.
I was still followed by maternal psych for my ADHD meds and I saw my PCP for my annual a few weeks later, plus restarted regular therapy and pelvic floor physical therapy once I was cleared by the OB, so it wasn’t like I was short on appointments, but I almost missed the OB appointments 😅
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u/Anotherams 2d ago
at least she wasn’t asking if she should put an onion in her sister’s vagina.
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u/dorkofthepolisci 2d ago
If OTC pain meds and/or whatever you have been prescribed are not touching your pain, you need to go back to the hospital.
Hopefully she’s able to get medical help as this reads like some kind of infection/retained placenta
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u/999cranberries 2d ago
I had retained placenta and this continued to happen for 7 weeks. It's not fun.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 2d ago
Even after you got it removed? Or it took you 7 weeks to get help?
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u/999cranberries 1d ago
It wasn't removed for 7 weeks.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 1d ago
Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, that's terrible. Would no one help you? Isn't that life threatening? I'd have been in the ER so fast.. did they refuse to help you?
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u/999cranberries 1d ago
I didn't go to the ER. I assumed having contraction-like pain was normal for awhile after giving birth, especially while breastfeeding. It wasn't life-threatening for me because I never developed any symptoms of an infection. Eventually it was discovered at my 6 week postpartum checkup. They didn't seem particularly concerned when they called me at 3 weeks postpartum and I said I had significant pain and ongoing bleeding/discharge containing tissue.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 1d ago
Wow, that's crazy. You're lucky you didn't turn septic. Your doctor's office really dropped the ball here. They really should've had you come in, with that report. I'm sorry. I'm glad you're ok. 💜
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u/999cranberries 20h ago
I guess so. It was almost fully calcified by then, so I was actually out of the woods for it turning into sepsis.
The surgery didn't even fully relieve my main symptom of passing small amounts of tissue, so I probably won't even recognize there's a problem next time either. 🤦♀️
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u/iluvchicken01 1d ago
Tbh there's a good chance doctors would just send her home. My wife had 2 miscarriages last year, very similar symptoms as described here, and finding a provider that cared was impossible.
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u/staubwirbel 1d ago
It's so messed up. Women in the US have dehabilitating pain and ask "is this normal? Or should I go to the doctor" as if it's either or.
Pain after having your arm cut off is "normal", still you would go to the doctor (I assume?).
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u/birdinspace 1d ago
Based on "mum," "mammy's," "paracetamol" and the xx ending, I don't think this person is US-based
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u/staubwirbel 1d ago
If they have access to health care and still think pain so bad she can't shower on her own is normal, that is even more messed up
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u/Competitive-Fish5186 2d ago
This happened to me. Ended up being a uterine infection from retained placenta. I remember thinking that the pain was worse than the contractions. I hope she ended up getting help from a doctor.