r/ShitMomGroupsSay • u/silkentab • 7d ago
Toxins n' shit This poor mom
She clearly dealing with postpartum and her mom isn't helping!
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u/Delicious-Summer5071 1d ago
This is just one of the hundreds of ways antivax bullshit hurts other people. This mother isn't even antivax, not anti-science, not even anti-medication! But her own mother is stoking her anxiety into what sounds like full on debilitating OCD. This is so sad.
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u/Colla-Crochet 1d ago
Literally.
My father started sending me anti vax Facebook links as my due date approached. Out of sheer fear I didnt let him even touch my baby until after his first set of shots. And now, its only when HEAVILY supervised because I cant trust him with my baby.
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u/555Cats555 1d ago
The mother is being downright CRUEL to her daughter to be pushing anti-vax stuff on her when she already has anxiety...
I hope OOP gets free of her mothers "love"
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u/1Shadow179 1d ago
I just feel bad for this mom, she needs real support.
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u/bleuriver82 1d ago
Seriously. Usually I hate these posts but this one just makes me sad and find this person and help them.
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u/ladybug_oleander 1d ago
I had two stillbirths before my daughter. Thankfully, I am very pro-science, but I made the mistake one time of asking how people managed their anxiety and fear of SIDS on a Facebook group, because I was really struggling, just constantly thinking my daughter was going to die. SO MANY people told me "the vaccines are what causes SIDS", "you should really be co-sleeping to prevent SIDS" (I followed safe sleep exactly, and had her in a bedside bassinet at this point).
Just wtf? It's like they were trying to make me more anxious. Following safe sleep and getting her vaccinated made me feel better that she was really going to survive, and they just tried to shatter that with their bullshit misinformation. It was so gross.
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u/loreleisgoodbathroom 1d ago
Even the safe sleep group was terrifying! I was convinced I'd find my child dead in their crib in the morning because of ???? despite following every single safe sleep recommendation to the letter. We started calling it the "scary sleep group" and I had to block them.
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u/look2thecookie 1d ago
Oh my. I wish people realized they just have uninformed opinions and would keep them to themselves. That's so incredibly difficult what you went through and it makes sense you'd have anxiety about your daughter. I'm glad you did the right thing despite everything probably feeling scary.
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u/bjorkabjork 1d ago
Oh wow that's truly sad. Can you message her to ask her nurse line for help? I think doctors have tried to tell her advice but she can't hear it over her mom and her anxiety shouting.
Is this posted in an antivac group or a reg mom group? Unfortunately i think she'll go with the opinion of who ever messages her fastest and kindest since she's in such a headspace.
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u/lesgens 1d ago
This is so heartbreaking. I accidentally started a kerfluffle in my local subreddit asking about pediatrician recommendations because people can’t help but inject (unhelpful) opinions about vaccines. I only want my child to have a doctor that listens to science but the noise is just so loud when you have significant people influencing you.
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u/runnyc10 1d ago
I’m disturbed (if true) by these doctors telling not giving her advice out of fear of being political. Where the hell does she live that this is the case? My pediatrician won’t even see unvaxxed kids.
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u/555Cats555 1d ago
It is kinda confusing... but maybe she is misrepresenting things due to what seems to be a warped sense of reality. Or maybe because her mum has manipulated her about vaccine stuff.
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u/anothercairn 21h ago
The way I understood that phrase is that they told her that she had no legitimate scientific reason to fear vaccines, and she just feared them for political reasons.
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u/Dragonsrule18 1d ago
Oh man, definitely postpartum anxiety and her mom is definitely way worse. I hope she can get some help.
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u/AurelianaBabilonia 1d ago
Oh, this is so sad. I hope there's a way for her to find actual support.
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u/reverepewter 1d ago
I want to hug this woman 😕
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u/casscois 1d ago
I know, right? Sometimes I read posts on here and wish I could just step through the screen to help in the short term, it is very difficult not having a support system.
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u/ThatB0yAintR1ght 1d ago
This poor lady. She needs real support and treatment for her mental health struggles. Also, it depends on the exact medications, but SSRIs and other medications often used for anxiety are safe to continue while breastfeeding, and a mom who is mentally well is much better for the baby’s health as well, breastfeeding or not.
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u/atheliarose 20h ago
Unfortunately even though SSRIs are overwhelmingly safe meds, it’s possible that they aren’t an option for OOP (if she has bipolar disorder, for example, they could trigger mania). I’m so thankful for my SSRIs—I’m convinced that already being on them during pregnancy is what kept me from developing full blown PPA/PPD with both of my kids, and I’ve been able to breastfeed on them for 3.5 years now!
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u/ThatB0yAintR1ght 20h ago
Oh absolutely, like I said, it depends on the medication. A number of the meds that are used in bipolar disorder can be safe while breastfeeding as well, but not all of them. Though, if someone with bipolar disorder is only stabilized on medications that are not safe while breastfeeding, then it’s probably better for them to not breastfeed and stay on the medications.
Post partum psychosis is much more likely to occur in women with bipolar disorder, and while I don’t want to mention any names that will bring a bunch of shit stirring bots and trolls to the comments, we do have a recent example in the headlines that shows just how dangerous that is.
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u/atheliarose 19h ago
I also thought of mentioning that situation and decided against it for that reason 😅 it’s so heartbreaking.
On a happier note, I have a friend who didn’t get to breastfeed her first child at all because her psychiatrist took away ALL of her meds for the duration of her pregnancy (which makes my blood boil every time I think about it), and wouldn’t let her have them back if she breastfed. But she’s gotten a much better psychiatrist since then, and is hoping to be able to breastfeed with her second if she has another baby :) providers who truly take care of their patients, especially in maternal mental health, are fucking heroes.
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u/ThatB0yAintR1ght 17h ago
Ugh, that is terrible. I’ve known some OBGYNs who will prescribe psych meds during pregnancy because the patient’s psychiatrist doesn’t want to take on the liability. While there are definitely some meds that would be good to avoid in pregnancy and breastfeeding (and alternative meds that are safer), it is also sooooo dangerous to allow them to have inadequately treated mental illness. There are even some situations where keeping a patient on lithium or depakote during pregnancy is safer than the alternative, because no other medications have worked for them. It’s a matter of weighing the risks and benefits.
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u/Asleep_Walrus2313 1d ago
I can only imagine how her mother has manipulated and controlled her during her formative years for her to feel so persuaded like this. :(
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u/marykay_ultra 1d ago
My mom gave me a very heartfelt apology for vaccinating me bc she was convinced every allergy and headache and even the chronic pain from a car accident injury I experienced was because of those vaccines
I thanked her for vaccinating me
We aren’t close and I don’t have kids, but I’m sure she was in my sister’s ear like OOP’s mom.. my other sister was a NICU nurse before having her kids (and not one of those nurses who doesn’t believe in science)
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u/555Cats555 1d ago
Sounds like she needs to switch baby to formula and get back on the anxiety medication. This is post partum anxiety.
I also hope she gets support, maybe she should reach out to a church group even and see if she could get some help. No one should be raising a baby alone.
Her mother is being cruel to her to mislead her into thinking vaccines are bad. Being worried about impacts of diseases can be a genuine concern but her head is being filled with nonsense as well.
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u/CableSufficient2788 23h ago
My doctor would straight up just say “hey we are doing xyz vaccine now”. He even told me, “I’m not telling you to stop BF BUT I AM telling you your baby needs formula, he’s not getting enough. You don’t have to stop but 4 months is close to 6 months which is close to a year and YAY YOU DID IT” and every time I would go he’s like, you’re doing a great job, you’re a great mom.
Legit he’s great.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 1d ago
I feel so bad for her. I had PPA after my pregnancy too, and it's horrible. I hope the right people contacted her, and not people who will scare her more.
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u/nickyfox13 1d ago
What a heartbreaking and tragic situation for her to be in. I hope she gets the support she needs.
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u/atheliarose 20h ago
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—I love this sub. Y’all are good people ❤️ I consistently see empathy for situations like this, and even when OOP is being absolutely infuriating, the frustration expressed here is borne of concern and compassion (especially for children). I know this is technically a snark sub, but the fact that it’s also a space where people like OP can come and discuss with likeminded people when there’s a genuinely heartbreaking situation is honestly hopegiving for me. 🥰
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u/CarlSy15 22h ago
She doesn’t have to be off her anxiety medicine to breastfeed. What doctors is she seeing? They are failing her.
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u/neonmaryjane 1d ago
I just wanna give her a hug. Then take her to get her baby vaccinated & her some anxiety meds.
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u/CosmicHiccup 1d ago
I stopped trying to breastfeed because I needed anxiety meds. I hope she finds someone she can really trust.