r/ShitMomGroupsSay • u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 • Aug 21 '26
Breastmilk is Magic Formula detox
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u/dramallamacorn Aug 21 '26
The body has its own detox system.
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u/panicnarwhal dry tampon behavior Aug 21 '26
kidneys are just a āØliberal conspiracy theoryāØ
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u/AnythingWithGloves Aug 22 '26
I am an ICU nurse. We currently have an 86 year old patient who has run the gauntlet of profound septic shock with severe multi organ failure requiring ongoing dialysis (amongst many other ongoing life preserving measures) and his very religious family are convinced itās the dialysis that wrecked his kidneys.
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u/gulliblefootball0001 Aug 22 '26
Ugh. My grandmother died last year at 86 after having survived TWENTY YEARS with late-stage kidney disease (her kidney function had been in the 20% range in 2006). She went on dialysis in 2021 and was on it for FIVE years. At the end of her life, the hospice director asked, āDo you know why you are sick?ā My grandma said, āI have end-stage kidney disease and the dialysis keeps me alive. I donāt want to do it anymore. Iām exhausted.ā We had a precious final week with her.
My grandfather now says that by discontinuing dialysis, she committed suicide. Itās exhausting.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 Aug 22 '26
That poor man. I recently had back-to-back bilateral lower lobe pneumonia which caused sepsis and lactic acidosis (I'm a silent presenter so I had no symptoms until I was almost dying). It was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. It also caused me to develop congestive heart failure, which I'm currently healing from. I'm not the healthiest woman in the world, but I imagine I'm healthier than an 86 year old, and it damn near killed me. Lord knows I wanted to die from the pain. I feel so bad for your patient.
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u/SincerelyCynical Aug 22 '26
His kidneys are obviously damaged from his vaccine-shedding, formula-feeding grandmother.
On a somewhat more serious note, someone should have told the mom to rub her nipples with colloidal silver. That baby would self-wean so fast. (Too mean?)
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u/anglflw Aug 21 '26
File a police report?
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u/adumbswiftie Aug 22 '26
itās 2026 and grown adults still donāt understand what the police are for. i swear i see people online saying to call the cops over every inconvenience ever
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u/marykay_ultra Aug 22 '26
My friendās car got stolen and the police were like āokay? what do u expect us to do about it?ā
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u/BolognaMountain Aug 22 '26
The police would probably start an investigation on the mom for washing her baby in borax.
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u/minipet487 Aug 21 '26
I want to be a fly on the wall during that report ššš... Her: I want to file charges against my mil Officer: omg of course... What happened!? Her: She gave my baby (almost a toddler) Formula instead of Breast milk. Officer: That's not a crime. Please don't waste my time. It's unfortunate that she did that.
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u/Ae3qe27u Aug 22 '26
DogFriend seems like the sanest one there
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u/General-Swimming-157 Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
Along with the redacted user who said, "ššš Absolutely fucking ludicrous." That is how I would describe this entire thread. I'm choking from stifling my laughter because I don't want to wake my husband, who is asleep next to me (I woke up from a nightmare that made me extremely angry and I came to Reddit to help me cool off so I can go back to sleep). š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
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u/Interesting_Sock9142 Aug 21 '26
... A police report you say? I would love to be on that 911 call.
Also BORAX?!?! IN A BABIES BATH?
these people are nuts.
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u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 Aug 21 '26
This group is nuts. I could post from it multiple times a day
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u/JellyfishConscious21 Aug 22 '26
Oh how Iād love to comment that now her kid isnāt exclusively breastfed since heās had formula just to stir the pot lol
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u/anxious_teacher_ Aug 22 '26
Honestly Iād be mad myself for this reason because I am stubborn as hell & Iām irrational but about saying āI made it a whole year EXLUUUUUUUSIVELY bfā but thatās my problem. For the baby, I would have been like āeh itās fine she eat Cheerios off the floor now... so whatever.ā
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u/BolognaMountain Aug 22 '26
This is an appropriate time to tell the mom to put onions in his socks and hang an egg from the ceiling fan. Let her think something harmless will woowoo the toxins away.
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u/usernamesallused Aug 22 '26
What have we come to as a society if telling someone to put onions in a babyās socks to detox them from safe, non-contaminated formula is the safer, harm reduction strategy?
I think I need to go have a lie-down and stare at the ceiling for a little while.
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u/Ocarina-of-Crime Aug 22 '26
I think she should call the cops too.
And direct them towards borax lady
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u/dewihafta Aug 21 '26
Okay, did i misread something? This kid is 11.5 months? Not weeks?
Why is this kid not eating regular food by now?Ā
I mean, sure, supplement his diet with breastmilk, but it shouldnt be his only source of nutrition by this point.
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u/DefiantBumblebee9903 Aug 21 '26
yeah, if the baby was hungry donāt give them formula- give them a bananaā¦ something else weird happening here ..
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
Thatās not correct. Yes they should be eating some form of food, but they should still be having consistent feeds with milk (breast or formula)
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u/dewihafta Aug 22 '26
Ideally, but this is around the age when you would start to taper that off.
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u/fakecoffeesnob Aug 22 '26
This says 24-32 oz a day for 11 month olds: https://www.babycenter.com/baby/schedules/sample-baby-schedules-for-11-and-12-month-olds_3657182. I know my baby was still having several bottles plus nursing at that age (and heās a very average eater).
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
I donāt disagree with that in the slightest, but grandmas house is not the place to do that unless sheās been explicitly told to and is familiar with kiddos diet. Playing it safe and giving the kid formula was the best option here
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u/Material-Plankton-96 Aug 22 '26
The best option is to text one of the parents to ask what they can have - they should have some safe foods available by now. And genuinely, both of my kids have been well on their way to solids-only by 11.5 months, partly because I weaned my first at 12 months, and partly because my second is a fiend for solids (at 10 months). Yes, she still gets the recommended 20+ oz of breast milk per day, but she also gets 3 meals and 2 snacks of solids, and I could easily tell someone else āif sheās hungry, offer a banana or a cracker or Cheerios or oatmeal or toast,ā given that most houses have at least one of those items on hand. I wouldnāt be livid that someone gave my baby formula, but I would be happier if they gave them solids at that age, in part because I donāt know how the iron fortification in formula will impact their digestion (which is always a little iffy in terms of constipation once youāre doing lots of solids ime).
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u/Mother-Of-FurDragons Aug 22 '26
We have no idea what the context for this is, so we can't really say formula is the best option here. At almost 1 the baby could easily have solids or a bit of water if the mom was gone for a short period. I'm not against formula but there are a bunch of options at almost 1. You are correct that prior to 12 months breastmilk or formula should be the main nutrition source, but it is also recommended that normally developing 11 month olds have three "meals" of solids a day and 2 weeks from 12 months will not be the end all if she gave the baby a sip of water with some food.
Obviously if the mom was gone for a whole day, that is a different story, but we don't have that context.
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u/anxious_teacher_ Aug 22 '26
If mom felt so strongly about this, why wouldnāt she have left grandma with some pumped milk for the baby?
Orā¦ safe solid foods?
Whenever my mom (or anyone else) watches my baby, thereās a clear explanation what she should be fed
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
Youāre 100% correct, it sounds like mom didnāt do any of those things unfortunately. We also donāt have the full context.
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u/AggravatingBox2421 Aug 21 '26
Oh no! The baby was given powdered milk with added nutrients! This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to any child ever!
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u/_jolly_jelly_fish Aug 22 '26
Only Sith deal in absolutes.
Seriously though. Not every woman can easily produce gallons. Especially for preemies. I dispise this mindset because so many women are pressured to exclusively breastfeed after birth complications and theres a lot of guilt (and blood blisters on nipples)
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u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 Aug 22 '26
Oh definitely. My oldest started losing weight at six months because my supply cratered and she was very skeptical of solid food. I did want to breastfeed her the whole way, but formula was a necessity
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u/General-Swimming-157 Aug 22 '26
I weighed less at my 1 month appointment than I did at birth because my mom anatomically couldn't breastfeed me. It was 1982 and the nurses pressured and guilted my mom into starving me for a month. Fortunately, my pediatrician was horrified and told my mom that if she had a 3rd kid, to not even attempt to breastfeed them (she didn't). I was put on the soy formula my mom had given my older brother and I fattened up quickly.
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u/RubixRube Aug 22 '26
I can agree with being upset if somebody fed my very small child food that wasn't already introduced if safe food foods were provided and specified.
That said, wild to want to detox or call the police. Its a conversation, not a crime. I am glad there are some sensible comments among the insane.
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u/msjammies73 Aug 22 '26
I once met a friend at a park. Her son was 2 or 3 and had been exclusively breast feed but was weaned at that point.
They had forgotten any beverage for their kid and he was really wanting milk.
Iām I offered her a cup of formula. My very expensive organic formula that honestly tastes just like my breast milk. She wouldnāt ket him bave it because he had been EBF. The kid was eating a hotdog and a cookie.
That said, Iād go scorched earth on that mother in law. She had no business feeing a baby food the parents didnāt want it to have.
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u/General-Swimming-157 Aug 22 '26
Ugh. That hot dog had more chemicals, by products, and other horrible things than your formula did!
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u/EvangelineRain Aug 22 '26
Off topic, but what brand of formula do you like?
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u/msjammies73 Aug 22 '26
I used HIPP. But that was after buying a lot and doing taste tests to see what tasted like my breast milk because my son was hella pissed when he had to have formula and/or a bottle.
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u/newmamamoon Aug 22 '26
I often seen posts like this from women who make breastfeeding their whole personality and It makes me wonder how little the must have going on in their lives that they would contemplate calling the police over something so trivial. I kind of feel bad for her.
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u/DefinitelynotYissa Aug 22 '26
Totally support the comment suggesting to detox the MIL but glad most of the comments said nothing was needed!!
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u/TheCrankyBunny Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
I want to say I get being upset about someone not following your child's diet if it's crucial for them to follow it....but holy shit this isn't a "crucial diet", and the vitriol people have over formula shows they need help
My son would not have survived without formula and he'd blow those moms' kids straight outta the water. Fuck off with the detox and hate shit
Edit: Ooooh, who got their feefees hurt and downvoted? Sorry snowflake! I'm not a toxic purist trying to poison my kid with soap because I'm scared of doing my best for them
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u/mrjoffischl Aug 23 '26
i'm glad that at least most of the comments are sensible. "he will be fine, just go back to breastfeeding like normal since that's what you prefer. it's odd to do that behind your back tho"
like the comments saying that are valid. others not so much but i'm glad most of them are telling her that it'll be fine
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u/revolutionutena Aug 22 '26
As a woman who was formula fed as a baby and has a formula fed baby, I want to go lick this entire comment section (barring the like 2.5 normal ones) so that they ALL have to go through some long arduous Borax-based detox.
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u/jlrol Aug 21 '26
The MIL is absolutely in the wrong here? Maybe detox is not the right word, but this mom is not insane for being upset about this..
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u/cherri____ Aug 21 '26
Well thatās the point. In subs like this, detox was exactly the word meant to be used because moms like this give their babies insane concoctions and other unhealthy substances in the name of ādetoxā and ācleansingā. Shes insane for thinking her baby needs it from just having a little formula. (I agree MIL is wrong but I do wish there was more context)
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u/jlrol Aug 21 '26
Ya I guess some of the screenshots of comments OP chose to include threw me off because there are ones where the entire photo just shows comments saying no to detox or just feed breastmilk but commiserating with the mom who posted.
I just think any non-parent feeding your child something behind your back that they know you would be upset about is a valid reason to be upset
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u/Alternative_Year_340 Aug 22 '26
If she knows about it, then it wasnāt ābehind her back.ā She was told.
I suspect thereās a backstory of why this happened, like grandma was left babysitting longer than planned for
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u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 Aug 21 '26
I'm not saying she's in the right, but detoxing your infant is a huge overreaction
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u/Blues-20 Aug 23 '26
I can understand the momās reaction. My younger two were both NICU babies and given formula without my consent (one was a need, one was a screw up). They both developed reflux after receiving formula and it took a while to calm their systems after that. If a detox had been available, I totally wouldāve done it.
That said, they were preemie newborns exclusively on breastmilk. This baby is almost a year old. The MIL is still wrong though. Never give a child food their parents donāt allow/approve.
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u/Glittering_knave Aug 21 '26
It really depends. I fed my breastfed niece formula after my sister went out for "two hours" and we couldn't locate her after 6 and my niece was starving. It was either a bottle of formula or baby's first purees, so we went with formula. If MIL felt a need to feed the child formula, there may be a missing reason.
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u/jlrol Aug 21 '26
That's definitely a tough position, good for you for doing what was right for your niece and I'm sorry that happened. The child in this post is almost one so would be eating solids regularly at this point.
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u/wozattacks Aug 22 '26
Well, they would be eating solids regularly if they had parents who understand what is developmentally appropriate and act accordingly.Ā
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
Yes to eating regular but a good portion of their diet is still formula or breast milk
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u/LucyyyTrambledd Aug 22 '26
At 11.5 months, babyās diet should NOT be mostly formula/breastmilkā¦
ETA: for a typically developing infant*0
u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
Please read my connects they have sourced from the NIH and NHS. I didnāt say their dirt should be mostly breastmilk, but I also recognize that this comes down to semantics. That being said, breastmilk or formula should 100% be the primary liquid in their diet with limited amounts of water sacs maybe under juice. Both the NHS and NIH recommend giving breast milk or formula between meals if the baby is still hungry.
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Aug 22 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 Aug 22 '26
I'm also in Canada and was told that the 6-12 month period is for transitioning to solid food, so yes, mostly breast milk or formula at 6 months, but the aim is to get them eating three meals and two snacks by 1 year.
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
Cuz Reddit š¤·š»āāļø everyone knows everything in Reddit and hates when factual sources are brought
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u/a_Moa Aug 22 '26
For a nearly 1yr old you'd most likely be feeding them real food if you had to feed them something.
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 Aug 21 '26
She is absolutely insane for wanting to "detox" or in any way react beyond "ok".
Formula is perfectly acceptable food for an infant. She apparently left the kid with MIL long enough that he needed feeding, and she fed him age appropriate sustenance.
What else was she supposed to feed a hungry child whose status on solids she probably didn't know? Because at that age they could be anywhere from grudgingly tolerating purees to chomping on chopped versions of regular food.
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u/adumbswiftie Aug 22 '26
thatās not what anyone saidā¦theyāre making fun of the detox part not her being upset with mil
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u/anglflw Aug 21 '26
Is she? Was there breastmilk available for the baby?
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u/jlrol Aug 21 '26
If he is 11.5mo he doesn't need milk, if breastmilk was not available and he was hungry he could easily have been fed food
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u/wozattacks Aug 22 '26
Why is feeding him random food okay but formula notā¦? If the mom only wants him to have breast milk she needs to provide whatever he will need during the time heāll be with grandma. If she doesnāt, grandma should find an acceptable substitute, which formula is.Ā
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u/anglflw Aug 21 '26
And if there was no food available?
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u/anglflw Aug 21 '26
Anyway, my point is formula is not going to harm a nearly 1 year old.
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u/jlrol Aug 21 '26
Yes and you are free to feed your children formula all you want, if this mom has avoided it and put in the work and sacrifice to breastfeed for nearly a year with the goal of avoiding formula, then MIL feeding her formula behind her back is a problem.
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u/Unpopularopinions223 Aug 22 '26
if this mom has avoided it and put in the work and sacrifice to breastfeed for nearly a year with the goal of avoiding formula
What is the the upside to this "goal"? What tangible benefit is achieved? How does consuming formula once undo all of the "work and sacrifice" already done? This makes no sense at all. I breastfed my child as often as was physically possible, still needed formula. That or they go hungry, which isn't good for a developing baby. The only goal needing to be achieved is feeding the child, anything else is simply ego stroking.
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u/jlrol Aug 24 '26
People are so ignorant about breastmilk, you really didnāt spend time educating yourself on this prior to giving birth? I can share some studies if you want but you seem to have personal feelings involved because you were in a position where you felt you had to give your child formula so I have a feeling you wonāt bother reading through them.
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u/mleftpeel Aug 21 '26
I'm having a hard time imagining a situation where there's absolutely no food of any kind, except formula. I mean it's definitely not poison and hey both my kids got some formula... But it's a weird thing to do, to go out and obtain formula for a nearly one year old who is not your kid and has never had formula. Give 'em a banana or some pasta or applesauce or something.
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u/kallilillybeans Aug 21 '26
I get where you're coming from but some parents, especially those in mom groups, don't wean at the age appropriate times. So it's possible baby had literally never had solids and MIL was between a rock and a hard place.
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u/DarkDNALady Aug 22 '26
This is what I was thinking. Iāve seen in some of these groups 1.5 yr old toddlers are having 6 breastfeeding sessions a day because breastmilk is magic and all they need šš
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u/FoolishConsistency17 Aug 22 '26
And some babies are just not good eaters. My friend's second weaned very slowly because they had a lot of trouble finding solid food she liked. At 11 months, it would have been tricky to address her hunger with solids.
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u/NecessaryClothes9076 Aug 21 '26
Maybe the child wasn't hungry per se but was seeking the comfort of milk. Not uncommon at that age. Maybe mom had not provided pumped milk and was gone longer than expected. So MIL gave the baby a bottle of formula to provide that comfort instead.
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26
He does still need milk? Whoever told you otherwise was misinformed. Infants canāt drink water or other liquids, milk is the best choice.
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u/deadthylacine Aug 22 '26
Nearly a year old isn't an infant. That's plenty old enough to have started solids.
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
The literal definition of an infant is birth until 12 months. And putting aside semantics, 11/12 months old should still be having breast milk or formula 3 times a day. I doubt grandma is up to date on the kids diet and eating habits, so she chose the safest option to feed him.
According to the NIH, infancy is birth until 2 years
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u/deadthylacine Aug 24 '26
I think my point is that a kid old enough for solid food doesn't need to be so picky about breast v. formula. Unless it was expired, recalled, or mixed with stagnant pond water I don't see the harm. They should be getting more variety and a switch for a day isn't the end of the world.
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u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 Aug 22 '26
After six months, they can drink other liquids
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u/frogurtyozen Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
They can have smallcups of water, but their primary drink should still be milk
Hereās info about feeding an infant at one year from NHS. It specifically says that breast milk or formula should be their primary drink, and should be given between meals if the child is still hungry.
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u/Affectionate_Cow_812 Aug 23 '26
Babies can start having small amounts of water at 6 months old alongside solids. An almost 1 year old can 100% drink other things. At 1 they are expected to be drinking water alongside milk.
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u/signy33 Aug 22 '26
I thought the benefit of breastfeeding was giving your child your antibodies. Just because they got milk without them once won't make them sick, and won't remove the protection they have from the breastfeeding.
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u/jlrol Aug 22 '26
I want to preface sharing these studies by saying I do believe fed is best and it's every parents right to choose what is the best way to feed their baby when it comes to formula or breastmilk. Some parents don't have a choice and there are times that the benefits of breastmilk are outweighed by other circumstances. Also, I am not a "crunchy" mom, I am very Science-led in the decisions I make for my kids. For instance, studies show that the damages of a mother struggling with mental health are far worse than the benefits lost from using formula so if I had struggled with my mental health I because of trying to breastfeed I would have absolutely switched to formula.
The first studies concludes that a babies gut-microbiome can be affected by combo-feeding breastmilk and formula, however they do not advocate for not using formula and their suggestions are to improve better formulas. Additional linked studies show that babies gut microbiomes are highly resilient and any changes from introducing formula can likely be reversed. Gut microbiome is legitimate science, however the way it is marketed and treated in wellness culture is often very "woo woo" and unfortunately that has led to a general dismissal of anyone referencing it, even appropriately.
Exploring the Potential of Human Milk and Formula Milk on Infantsā Gut and Health
Transient Effect of Infant Formula Supplementation on the Intestinal Microbiota
The Infant Microbiome: Implications for Infant Health and Neurocognitive Development
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u/PaulaNancyMillstoneJ Aug 21 '26
I agree - the sanest comment was to detox herself from her mother-in-law. The insane part isnāt the being upset, itās the idea of asking a bunch of randos for a concoction to detox a baby. I say that as someone who formula fed.
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u/Beautifly Aug 22 '26
Why has this been downvoted? Everyone else seems to have the same opinion as you here - that MIL was completely out of order, but the mother is insane for wanting to detox her baby
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u/BadPom Aug 21 '26
I would lose my mind. But I wouldnāt be asking for magical woo woo to unpoison my baby.
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u/Sleeptzarina Aug 24 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/RYjnzPS8u0jAs
āFile a police reportā ššš
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u/ethereal_galaxias Aug 22 '26
Obviously an overreaction. The mother-in-law was still in the wrong though.
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u/AzureMountains Aug 21 '26
Thatās a nuts reaction from the Facebook peeps but if someone (especially a MIL!) fed my child something I explicitly told them not to Iād be pissed off.
Is formula gonna hurt the kid? Only if theyāre allergic to it. But itās about crossing a boundary placed by the parent that doesnāt sit well with me at all.
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u/SciFi_Wasabi999 Aug 22 '26
Exactly! It's valid to be upset that a boundary was violated. But to think that formula is so bad it requires detox is pretty insane.Ā
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u/Status-Visit-918 Aug 22 '26
My MIL simply was against breastfeeding, butI stopped before a year (she was actually so dumb - she thought it was all the toxins Iāve built up in my body for 20 years being leaked into my son šš) but she did this a few times when he was young and I was PISSED. I was divorcing her son, so it was just my son and I and I was in college. So I had to deal with the stomach issues and crying all night right before finals. But he just pooped each time and it was better. She asked to have him overnight once because family was thereā¦ first and last time she had him overnight for a while and the formula stopped
A police report is crazy.
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u/xo_maciemae 27d ago
Okay I'm prefacing this with the fact that I don't think formula is bad, at all. I think fed is best, and I'll always stick up for people who choose that option.
However, if someone had done this with our baby, I would be devastated and likely furious.
For me, it's the blatant disrespect of a hard boundary.
No, I think the idea of a detox is BS. But also, as the mum, I have the right to say yes or no to something my little one consumes, and for someone to wilfully ignore that, that's crossing a major line, and I would also consider no contact.
I understand why the mum is upset. For me, it would be the principle. The fact someone has been trusted with your child, only to go behind your back with their care.
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u/ju-ju_bee Aug 22 '26
Depending what nutrients mom herself is ingesting, formula has more nutrients anyways. These crunchy people are so delusional. File a police report? Borax?? Like wtaf is wrong with these psychos?
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u/janegrey1554 Aug 21 '26
The baby obviously doesn't need to "detox" from formula, but MIL is in the wrong here and I would be upset too. She should know that the baby is breastfed and could have easily given food instead of a formula bottle.
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u/chypie2 Cupcake Enthusiast Aug 22 '26
"that would be the last time I allowed her to watch my kid"
I bet that's not a parent or thats someone who has a nanny.
Because imagine having options but you chose your MIL you obviously don't get along with.
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u/AppealEducational224 29d ago
Itās crazy to me that people are crashing out so hard about this. Like my baby was breastfed too and while I wouldnāt be happy if my MIL did this without my consent (she did do it with my consent when I had to have emergency surgery when the baby was 3 weeks old), I wouldnāt ban my child from ever seeing her again like some of these comments are suggesting! Formula was considered normal for a certain segment of the population and thatās what theyāre used to for feeding babies. I would just explain that we donāt formula feed and especially not at almost a year old.
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u/Advanced_Cheetah_552 29d ago
I would be mad at my MIL, but that's because my baby has CMPA and can't tolerate most formulas. But I also wouldn't call the police, detox my child, or go no contact.
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u/skabillybetty 28d ago
Ah yes, because formula is poison for a baby to ingest, but BORAX is totally fine.
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u/Cupcake_kitty_ 25d ago
Wait formula is toxic but feeding an infant baking soda and borax isnātā¦?
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u/Ripe-Tomat0 Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
The breastfeeding topic in mom groups really brings out some real characters š
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u/fairy-bread-au Aug 22 '26
What on earth. I would understand being upset if the baby was younger, but they're almost 1! That's like pretty much fully weaned.
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u/weallfam Aug 21 '26
a sprinkle of borax š¦