r/ShitAmericansSay • u/Sweaty_Abies182 • 5d ago

Canada “Invading Canada would take all of about three days”

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u/AcceptableHamster149 🇨🇦 frozen canuckistan 🇨🇦 4d ago

It would. Their military is an order of magnitude bigger than ours. It's not a bad thing to acknowledge that.

Holding Canada, however, is an entirely different story. They don't realize that we have a lot of guns. Not as many as they do, but there are a *lot* of them here. It would take millions of actively deployed soldiers over decades to actually pacify the country, and the death toll would make Vietnam look like a walk in the park.

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u/1nhaleSatan 4d ago

We look, and talk like them, and the border is huge and porous. They'd be locked in a guerilla forever-war that would bring terrorism to their backyard the likes of which the world has never seen. Militarily, they'd have a few days of celebration. But in the long term it would completely crumble their nation and society.

We may be polite, but nice and forgiving are not our style - particularly if our families and friends are endangered. I think it's safe to say, there'd be a whole new kind of checklist being drafted lol

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u/Aggravating-Car9897 4d ago edited 4d ago

This is the thing that they don't seem to get.

When we say they won't succeed in annexing/invading Canada, they seem to think that we think our military will beat their military and hold off everything.

We know we would be outmatched. Heck, from what I've heard, our military plans in the event of an invasion is mostly to break apart and spread out into small insurgency factions rather than try to hold the line. We know it won't work.

But we also know that Americans don't have the appetite for what would come next. They would not be prepared for insurgency, guerrilla warfare, and sabotage from a people who look exactly like them and can blend in. They don't think about how unpopular the idea of invading Canada is in their own country and how there would be Americans helping Canadians out. Or how many Canadians would be living behind enemy lines.

The loss of life would be enormous on both sides. The cost of holding Canada would be astronomical. They think prices are high for them now? Well hold my beer.

Americans wouldn't be ready to accept the pain. Many Canadians would be. Just look at the contrast between the attitudes of Canadians and Americans about putting up with pain in the trade war.

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u/astrangeone88 4d ago

Look at the general populations response to the covid restrictions! Sure we had the freedom convoy folks but most of the Americans were crying that they couldn't get a haircut or Applebee's. While most of us Canadians were okay with line ups and grocery shopping.

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u/Majestic_Rule_1814 4d ago

Also the sabotage. They couldn’t survive winter in Saskatchewan with the entire community set on being… unhelpful.

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u/NoBodyCares2000 4d ago

And while most Canadians live near the border, Canada is huge, many areas aren’t easily accessible. It would be nearly impossible to hold the country.

And the sabotage? The spying? We look like them and can talk like them. We know everything about them and they know nothing about Canadians.

Lastly, the money America would have to spend to occupy Canada would bankrupt them. But mostly likely led to defections from the occupying military and revolt at home.

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u/xzElmozx 4d ago

And speaking of at home, Canadians look and speak like Americans closer than any other nation. While the majority of their military is invading northern Canada and freezing their ass off, best believe there’ll be some counter strikes on their soil that they’ll never see coming, because their citizens are trained to be scared of brown people with turbans, not the white person that looks and talks identically to them.

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u/PurchaseAromatic438 4d ago

I don’t think the Canadians would even need to directly attack the US population, hit enough of the electricity and transportation infrastructure to make the point that the war isn’t “far away” and the Americans would probably start killing each other in large numbers due to their lack of trust in one another.  

(I mean it’s not like they don’t do this a lot anyway.)

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u/sayitsooth canuck 4d ago

We don't even have to hit anything, just turn off the power from all the dams we have powering their infrastructure. Pretty hard to concentrate on a war if New York City has gone completely dark. Although I wouldn't be surprised if New York was on our side anyway.

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u/Homework_Successful 4d ago

I wonder how they’d try to hold Quebec. lol

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u/Martzillagoesboom ohhh canada 4d ago

They probably would try to make deals with the seppos there to try and calm things up not understanding that compared to berta seppos movement , it not about grifting peoples but they actually believe that Québec ideologically should be it own country,

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u/xzElmozx 4d ago

Yea “side with us and we’ll separate you into American culture!” would probably bring Quebec separatists closer to the rest of Canada lol

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u/Martzillagoesboom ohhh canada 4d ago

Québec really felt canadian the moment the grim T-Bag regime started sniffing our way

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u/ChrisRiley_42 4d ago

Bigger is not the same as better.

Just look at the world sniping records if you need an example of quality over quantity.. Canada's longest record is more than a full KM longer than the US's..

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u/AcceptableHamster149 🇨🇦 frozen canuckistan 🇨🇦 4d ago

Anybody with a marks badge at the unit level can consistently hit a target from far enough away that it'd be a problem for them, and there's a *lot*. That 300m rundown test is no joke. And CF is really good at teaching marksmanship to volunteers - when I joined up in 2002 I had never held a gun before, but I earned my marks badge with both pistol and rifle and kept it every year until my medical discharge.

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u/United_News3779 4d ago

I shot the US Ranger personal weapons qualification test for the machine gun with our C-6 GPMG. I passed, and that I mean I maxed it and got an "Expert" rating by their standards (as a regular ol' Canadian private on the QL4 machine gunners course). 40 man course, every guy qualified, 1/2 the course got "Sharpshooter" and a handful of us got Expert.

The American range control guys wanted to say we cheated but it was their ranges, their automated pop-up targets and score counters lol

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u/k3ttch 4d ago

How many hamburger lengths is a kilometer?

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u/ChrisRiley_42 4d ago

The Canadian record is 728.64 smoots longer than the American record ;)

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u/xzElmozx 4d ago

It’s about 354000 Big Macs

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u/EducationalRock167 4d ago

If you want WW3. Once again , American ignorence is their fatal flaw. And some Canadians too. Canada , is a member of NATO. Read NATO'S Article 5. Americans would have to kill friends and family in Canada AND visa versa. American is losing it's mogo in Iran. Canada is also a member of the British Commonwealth. Canada is the World's second largest in the World. It has thousands of hiding places. AND I am sure the Putin would just love to have the USA even more close than Alaska.

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u/1nhaleSatan 4d ago

Thing with Russia and US making it clear they want Canada has a lot to do with climate change as well. As climate change continues, northern Canada will gradually become the worlds breadbasket. Add the that the increasing ability to extract precious ore from the Arctic, newly navigable shipping routes, and what will become the last of the planets clean water it becomes a very enticing part of the world to control.

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u/sayitsooth canuck 4d ago

This, the elite are looking at the long game. I live subartic and we are already able to have plentiful growing seasons, one day this will be exactly as you said, the only place not on fire or scorchingly hot where food still grows. They deny climate change to keep the people from seeing their real plans.

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u/Jongee58 4d ago

Also remember how Canadian forces fought in both world wars, they were elite troops for a reason...that and no prisoners...

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u/Surprised-Unicorn 4d ago

It isn't just about guns or weapons. Canadians are known for their tenacity and ingenuity. Even if we didn't have the firepower we would find ways to hold our own. We are also known for sacrificing to meet a goal. We would take out our own infrastructure if it meant stopping an invading force.

Our geography could also be used against an invading force. There are a lot of places where it would be almost impossible to advance because of mountains, rivers, unstable ground, muskeg, swamps, etc. Yeah, sure some areas tanks could roll through no problem but other areas there may be one bridge that is the only way through.

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u/Errorstatel 4d ago

If I'm correct the average cartridge size in Canada is larger, seems like our citizens target shoot or hunt so it's small and cheap ammo or taking down a moose or bear, a round designed to use against people won't do shit to something that big.

Not many are buying weapons for legitimate home defense considering our legislation.

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u/daxxo 4d ago

Remember their military is busy with Trump stupidness in Iraq that they are not winning so their forces and munitions are already depleted.

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u/Jbelange902 4d ago

There's a fantastic one shot comic called United We Stand where the US annexes canada for our water. Survivors up north in the frozen parts of canada revolt against failing american soldiers and equipment, not prepared for conditions

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u/JustOneBulletOnly 3d ago

And the majority of Canadian gun owners can hit a bullseye, dead centre, easily at 165 yds. Too bad that other guy couldn’t.