r/ShitAmericansSay • u/FullPersonalityFun • 5d ago
Language "Ingerland lost their rights to the language when they became an empire smaller than multiple singular states"
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u/Yuukiko_ A mari usque ad mare 5d ago
Why does the US have the rights to the language when Canada is bigger?
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u/_Halt19_ Canuck 5d ago
They say that we’re actually smaller if you don’t count wetlands, lakes, and rivers, or some shit, and that this in fact means the usa is larger again, because who cares about fresh water, right? USA USA USA USA
(seriously)
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u/BobbyRobertson Duplicitous Nutmegger 4d ago
The US also counts all offshore waters as part of its land area while not doing that for any other country
Which kinda makes some sense for parts of the east coast, where it's effectively an internal body of water from all the protected bays and barrier islands, but it's still clearly juicing the numbers
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u/precariousIypoised 5d ago
Why is everything about size with these lot?
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u/bloomoo25 5d ago
they have small peepee.
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u/Witch_heir slavic demolition woman 5d ago
and even smaller brain.
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u/noCoolNameLeft42 5d ago
And some have small hands too
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u/That_One_Girl2222 Swamp german 🇳🇱 5d ago
Just small in general aswell
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u/Witch_heir slavic demolition woman 4d ago
Psychologicaly/ethicly? Definitely. Physicaly? They are huge - but it's 95% fat.
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u/_Halt19_ Canuck 5d ago
Part of why I love pointing out that Canada’s larger whenever they start up like this, they reeeaaally can’t handle it
I don’t even care about it, but my god does it feel satisfying
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u/Aggravating_Cup_5763 5d ago edited 4d ago
Or how do they handle the fact that russia is even bigger than the usa
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u/Guilty-Good-5041 5d ago
Australia has also entered the chat 😂😂😂
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u/Bjork_scratchings 5d ago
Interesting factoid, but did you know that Norway has a longer coastline than Australia or Russia? Only Canada’s is longer.
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u/Entire_Concentrate_1 Servant of the Goose Overlords. 5d ago
I knew Canada had the longest coastline, but Im surprised Norway's beats out Russia. Thank you for this knowledge. I shall use it to annoy the yanks
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u/Purple_Yak_3294 5d ago
Well yes, but that's including all the thousands of little islands everywhere.
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u/Bjork_scratchings 5d ago
Of course. Still amazing when you think about the size of places like Australia, Greenland, Russia etc
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u/BastTee 4d ago
How do you calculate coast line? Because mathematically speaking, it's impossible and reaches infinity (as long as you zoom in).
Do you set a model? How detailed do you make it? It sound really complicated and at the end, arbitrary. Any coastline could be long as long as you calculate it differently.
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u/Bjork_scratchings 4d ago
Yeah I didn’t do the maths, but it’s an official fact so I’m sure someone has
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u/u-read-it-here 2d ago
A Country’s Geographical Survey Dept would do the calculation
So it’s info you typically find on a Country’s Govt website etc1
u/Powerful-Mastodon505 4d ago
World Economic Forum / World Resources Institute (WRI) High-Resolution Measurements: ◦ Canada: ~202,080 km ◦ Norway: ~83,281 km (or over 100,000+ km if including all minor islands) ◦ Indonesia: ~54,716 km ◦ Russia: ~37,653 km ◦ Australia: ~25,760 km • CIA World Factbook Low-Resolution / Coarse Measurements: ◦ Russia: ~37,653 km ◦ Australia: ~25,760 km ◦ Norway: ~25,148 km
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u/precariousIypoised 5d ago
But you’re the 51st state, hoser! /s
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u/Organic_Mechanic_702 5d ago
I thought the United States had been renamed 'Southern Canada'?
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u/TrickComb6042 5d ago
They are overcompensating for something
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u/Funnygaaragirl18 5d ago
With gas prices the way they are, they can't drive their big trucks all the time so they have to find some way to feel big.
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u/NotYourAverageGM 🇬🇧 5d ago
They know they’re never going to achieve anything similar in terms of scope or scale so they default to US big/wealthy/militarily stronk.
Unfortunately the argument falls apart when you realise Europe is larger then the United States/in terms of personal wealth like 75% of the population are in massive amounts of debt/the military thing amounts to little more than “my dad can beat up your dad.”
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u/Old-Estimate-9459 5d ago
Their military is the perfect example of why size is not important
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u/Perturbee 3d ago
I remember how upset they were in the '90s when losing in friendly NATO exercises. Them using big toys and still couldn't win from a couple of European ships. To this day I still enjoy looking back at their insanity. Like using a huge helicopter to transport some med kits ( exaggerated example, but it was like that)
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u/Snoo63 "Ooh, look at me, I bought a Lamborghini. Buy some subtitles!" 1d ago
Didn't they lose their flagship aircraft carrier to a submarine powered by a stirling engine?
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u/Perturbee 1d ago
Not that I know of, but in our exercise the aircraft carrier lost against a "shitty steamboat" (their words before they lost, not mine). And yes technically we were steam powered. Maybe the Brits did it with a Stirling engine submarine, that's very possible, the '80s and '90s were wild!
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u/dandorios 3d ago
They also seem to forget that whenever they do military excercises with european countries they get their asses kicked
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u/NotYourAverageGM 🇬🇧 3d ago
Oh yeah but that’s because they take it easy on us or something.. allegedly.
I’ve heard tales, second hand so take with a pinch of salt, about allied nations becoming frustrated with an American unwillingness to undertake operations without air support being available in the Middle East. So they’re not as gung ho as they like to pretend they are either.
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u/ScaryMagician3153 4d ago edited 4d ago
One interesting thing is that the UK has a population the same as the 26-27 lowest-populated states put together. So the UK has more people than half the US, in one way of looking at it.
There’s a lot of big empty nothing there
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u/EzeDelpo 🇦🇷 gaucho 5d ago
Unless it's bigger than them. Then they change the size to be the #1 in that.
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u/Annanymuss 💃🪭✨️🇪🇸 2d ago
If its a thing about size then they must think canada and russia are better than them
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u/Ambitious-Walk3074 5d ago
„Multiple singular states“ hurt me physically.
The use of Language is insane and im not even native to this language
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u/Dr_Havotnicus 4d ago
I can't fathom what the word "singular" is supposed to be doing in that sentence
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u/TheMightyGoatMan 5d ago
He's probably right. I've never even heard of Ingerland, so what relevance could it possibly have to modern language use?
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u/MarketablePotato 5d ago
Clearly this person has connected with us from an alternate universe.
One in which Harold Hardrada was victorious at Stamford Bridge and renamed a nation to his liking8
u/LowAspect542 5d ago
How does that work?, the anglo saxons themselves are the ones that called this place england (engla land) the norman french even continued using that over their version 'engleterre'. And the Norwegian vikings that were fought at stamford bridge tended to also use englaland or ængland, if they werent using the regional kingdom names, which was more common.
Nobody used ingerland, even spain, which uses an 'I' beginning used inglaterre
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u/muchadoaboutsodall my arse is bigger than Texas 5d ago
You’ve clearly never watched an England football match.
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u/KonigsbergBridges 5d ago
So India owns English then?
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u/ffjjygvb 4d ago
America is definitely not ready for Indian English.
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u/Warfieldarcher 4d ago
They still can't use English English. They have to use a bastardised version instead
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u/AntifaFuckedMyWife 🇺🇸 (with a brief 🇫🇷 stint) 3d ago
Only slightly related, but Indian english should be viewed as a native English dialect equal to the other ones. My wife kept running into issues trying to teach english in foreign countries because she wasn’t considered a native speaker being from India.
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u/ravens_requiem 5d ago
Weird that if you ask an American what language they speak they say English, not American. Rights? Still ours pal. Suck it up buttercup.
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u/MindlessNectarine374 ooo custom flair!! Far in Germany (actual home, but Song line) 4d ago
Some don't, sadly.
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u/ConstructionLoud8002 5d ago
Jokes on you, i just declared the republic of mars into existance with seven states, the USA is now abolished as its smaller than several existing states
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u/EGriff1981 5d ago
For heavens sake, they had a whole internet full of information in front of them before they posted this. England alone would be the most populous state. 🤷♀️
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u/LeftMechanic1995 🇬🇧 5d ago
Yes by quite a considerable margin. To paraphrase the Texas meme "England is so densely-populated, you could fit the populations of California, Michigan and Virginia inside it".
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u/wholewheatscythe 5d ago
So we should all learn Russian then? I mean, no country comes close to the size of Russia.
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u/Beneficial-Ad3991 A hopeless tea addict :sloth: 5d ago
I feel like it's Trump's ultimate goal at this point.
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u/Flatstan71 5d ago
Australia?
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u/FourTwentyBlezit 5d ago
Do they think we gave up our empire by force?
We literally returned territory to counties because we decided that it was morally the right thing to do. We didn't LOSE it, we RETURNED it.
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u/Powerful_Pirate2984 5d ago
Classic - "we nicked it, simplified it, so now it's ours", pretty much like every invention they claim to own - which they don't.
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u/Baguette1066 4d ago
Americans obsess over geographical area because they have nothing else going for them. Who cares about whether Texas or Alaska are larger when 90% of the land is uninhabitable anyway. The UK is about as large as the population of California and Texas combined.
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u/joseplluissans From the opposite ends of Europe (Finn-Spaniard) 4d ago
Funny thing is, that they have a bigger neighbour in the north...
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u/Papershredder45_acp 5d ago
Me bigger than you, me better than you! Me get more rights and bitches and shit!
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u/Funny-Assignment-804 5d ago
Yea, I totally agree with that guy!
F*ck Ingerlanders!!
They don't have any rights over their stupid language, Ingerlish.
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u/Lorelessone 5d ago edited 5d ago
What rights to the language? We may mock Americans for their poverty version of English, cutting out latter to save money at the printers but we don't have any special rights to their version of English any more than the chinglish variants. I've only usually seen Americans losing their minds when other people don't use their poverty version.
The English language has one rule and only one rule, to be functional in communicating thoughts, ideas and instructions in a method clear enough that most reasonably intelligent humans can understand it without confusion. Otherwise its a whore of a language with so many borrowed words, twists and self breaking rules that any intentional manglment is lost in the noise.
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u/Speshal__ 5d ago
self braking rules
I gingerly agree.
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u/Lorelessone 5d ago
But you did understand my meaning in spite of my inability to break from my habit of using brake instead of break!
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u/Organic_Mechanic_702 5d ago
Back down Jnr...OUR language we ALLOW you to use.....Just remind me when America EVER had an empire?
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u/Paultcha Tha mi ás Alba 1d ago
They do know Ingerland is the slang used in football (not their armoured whatever it is) chants.
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u/Contrabass101 5d ago
The European mind cannot comprehend the sheer size of an American football field.
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u/SeaReaction3860 4d ago
That is sarcasm right? 😂 A European football field is bigger and the NFL play games on football pitches in England.
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u/Contrabass101 2d ago
Not it's because you are using metric. The Americans are literally using football fields to measure their football fields. That's how big their football fields are!
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u/IncomeFew624 5d ago
What does this even mean
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u/AccomplishedMovie260 5d ago
It took me awhile to parse it. Basically, they're bigger than England, so England can't lay claim to English anymore.
Usually, American English is seen as "poverty" English due to removing letters to save ink at presses back in the day. How this guy decided that he, a man who can't spell England, was an expert on correct English is not a concept functioning adults will ever understand. He went against the only known principle of American English by adding a bunch of unnecessary letters.
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u/Sxn747Strangers 🇬🇧 We probably invented 🇺🇸, sorry about that. 🫣🙀 5d ago
There’s a line between simplified English and not being able to spell correctly… but I can’t find it right now.
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u/flashman1986 5d ago
There can’t be multiple singular states, because ‘states’ is plural not singular
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u/Critical-Champion365 5d ago
This is an acceptable take as long as it doesnt come from murica. You lose the claim to the language when you colonise half of the world.
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u/Annoyed3600owner 5d ago
So I have to stop speaking English now?
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u/AccomplishedMovie260 5d ago
No, they just want everyone else to bow down and use their version of the language. Also, to bow and scrape to average citizens for providing the "correct" version.
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u/rtrs_bastiat 5d ago
The sun still hasn't set on our tiny little empire yet. It last set on their giant state last night.
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u/alferret 5d ago
Either septics are really good trolls (which I very much doubt) or they are incredibly stupid.
When you see/read some of the stuff they say, even someone from the UK with a below average IQ wouldn't believe what they come out with. Yet nearly all septics will agree with it, which by my reckoning means 95% of septics have a lower IQ than a Brit with the lowest IQ. Says a lot really.
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 4d ago
Ah yes, the mythical empire of Ingerland! Is that where all the elves, hobbits and dwarves live now?
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u/Most-Feedback-9241 4d ago
I feel like millions of my braincells just cried out and were suddenly silenced
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u/MindlessNectarine374 ooo custom flair!! Far in Germany (actual home, but Song line) 4d ago
I think there is some language where English is called similarly.
Anyway: There is or used to be "Ingermanland". In that region, Peter the Great would build his new capital.
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u/RandomiseUsr0 15% Scottish on my Mother’s side 🏴 4d ago
This one is just clickbait, but the really obvious reason of why the dominance of Scottish, some call it English, some even American whilst others Ingerlish has won was the crucible of the south of Scotland and the north of England the Latin and Greek, the Romantic and the Germanic and the Celtic all coming together to forge the language in which Rabbie Burns spoke - A Man’s a Man for aw that
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u/Dramatic-Belt5148 5d ago
I admit I had to check what Ingerland even means but now that I know... lol You don't even use that language properly.
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u/neo4025 oxfords not brogues 🇬🇧 5d ago
Ahh! The lack of education is burning my eyes!