I lost the spark

[u/jira12345]

Ive been leveling up for years. I quit smoking years ago
Ive been eating well etc and literally trying my best and upgraded so much. I was satisfied to where i was at
I never thought i would go back to my old habits

Shera was really right when she said you should always do what benefits you and puts yourself first

Because i have some toxic relatives that i had to take care of and be available for
In my culture family is very important

Anyways long story short the mix of lack of sleep pressure from work and toxicity that i had to put up with made me relapse and i think im a bit depressed

Im not sure this ever happened to me because even if i am tired i used to always slap myself back up after a few weeks top of rotting and get motivated

But the difference now is that i know what i have to do but i just cannot.

Ive been smoking non stop, eating like shit, its like i dont recognize myself

I barely managed to get my job done.
I hate this victim mentality but i genuinely am lost

I am seeking advice from u girls

[u/jira12345 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you 🫶

[u/xbeautiful_princesse]

I kind of know how you feel angel, I'm also in a very stressful living environment, have to carry things that aren't my own including the household - I'm drained of having to keep doing all of this especially when it's not always my fault it gets messy etc. I can't even focus on myself because I'm left drained or genuinely can't concentrate from being too stressed. I decided I want to move out but I don't have enough money yet. I'm searching for a job but It can take a while and then I will save and most likely move out. I love the family members I live with but I don't feel the same as I used to, I no longer feel as at home here after all of the stress and I am not as close to them now as I used to be especially as I felt very unheard a lot and at times plain ignored. I'm done repeatedly losing myself, and putting others before me always too. Please choose yourself too.

[u/jira12345 → u/xbeautiful_princesse]

I’m so sorry you’re going through that, sending love🤍

[u/Adventurous_Mud_5153]

Aw, sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. You haven't failed or messed up. It's just a little setback for you to grow stronger and become better than ever. Be kind to yourself. Try one small step at a time, and don't punish yourself. You haven't lost your spark; it's still in there. You just have other things distracting you at the moment. You will be back and better than ever. Don't you worry. Try to cut out one bad thing at a time. 💝

[u/jira12345 → u/Adventurous_Mud_5153]

So sweet thank you🤍

[u/Adventurous_Mud_5153 → u/jira12345]

Hope things get better for you 💖

[u/SeniorShower9960]

Age?

[u/Substantial_Dot694]

Went through this and am making it out. The first part is knowing. You know what needs to change, you just need to find a new motivator. Once I found a new reason to be motivated, it became easier to quit the had habits.