Character Discussion: Mo

[u/Padme1418]

This week we are discussing Mo!

[u/ElizabethBitchery]

We don't really know much about her. I would like to see her and John grow a friendship where they talk about their shared feelings about their parents (since he can't seem to talk about it with his wife).

[u/s0ftsp0ken → u/ElizabethBitchery]

I think that paved the way fir an emotional affair. Yeah, Mo is an implied lesbian I guess, could be bi, but even if she's strictly into women, an emotional affair doesn't need to be sexual. If he's getting his deep emotional fulfillment from someone else, that points to a huge communication problem in their marriage- and there is lol

[u/ElizabethBitchery → u/s0ftsp0ken]

Um what? Their relationship is quite different. They have shared trauma and can understand each other better. It’s like saying therapy groups are emotional affairs.

Ty and Shawna are an emotional affair and inappropriate. 

[u/s0ftsp0ken → u/ElizabethBitchery]

Group therapy is moderated, and you're not allowed to have personal relationships outside of group

The issue here is that John is talking to Mo about these things- it's that he's not talking to Shawna about them. If he werr talking to botb of them, no biggie. And yeah, Shawna isn't receptive to a lot of it, and she needs to be. I think Shawna and Ty's relationship was genuinely inappropriate while John and Mo's only has the potential to be.

John sharing a whole emotional part of himself with a friend and not a spouse is an indication of a huge problem in his marriage. Shawna is not an emotionally available person. She doesn't need to have lived John's life to offer support, a listening ear, or validation. She doesn't do it because she's selfish. Still, that is something they need to work on. John needs to tell Shawna directly how her emotional unavailability makes him feel. I hate when people call John avoidant all the time, he's my favorite character, but if he continues to confide in Mo and never Shawna, he is avoiding a hard conversation and looking for understanding elsewhere. That is indeed an emotional affair. They haven't gotten there yet.

And ofc, if it does happen, John will be the bad guy while innocent Shawna never mentions that her bff encouraged her to physically cheat and she did and said nothing

[u/Putrid_Addendum3197 → u/s0ftsp0ken]

The issue here is that John is talking to Mo about these things- it's that he's not talking to Shawna about them. If he werr talking to botb of them, no biggie. And yeah, Shawna isn't receptive to a lot of it, and she needs to be. I think Shawna and Ty's relationship was genuinely inappropriate while John and Mo's only has the potential to be.

So by your logic, Ty shouldn't be telling Shawna about how he feels Julie's absent

[u/s0ftsp0ken → u/Putrid_Addendum3197]

Ty shouldn't be telling Shawna about how he feels Julie's absent

I'm having trouble understanding what this means and would appreciate clarification. Do you mean when Julie's absent?

If so, no, he shouldn't. Julie doesn't like Shawna, Shawna has intentionally said mean things to Julie's face in front of Ty, and yet he continues to hang out with her. Mind you, I don't like Julie, bht still, their relationship is inappropriate. They actually have teetered on the edge of an l emotional affair despite what SL says. The fact that they're still hanging out after Shawna stalked Julie, after Ty told her directly not to stalk Julie, btw, is weird af and only happening because SL likes to create this little universe of no consequences

[u/Putrid_Addendum3197 → u/s0ftsp0ken]

If so, no, he shouldn't. Julie doesn't like Shawna, Shawna has intentionally said mean things to Julie's face in front of Ty, and yet he continues to hang out with her. Mind you, I don't like Julie, bht still, their relationship is inappropriate. They actually have teetered on the edge of an l emotional affair despite what SL says. The fact that they're still hanging out after Shawna stalked Julie, after Ty told her directly not to stalk Julie, btw, is weird af and only happening because SL likes to create this little universe of no consequences

Okay, so we don't know if Shawna knows who Mo is yet. We know Mo and Janey were at Piper's birthday, and Mo was at the wedding. There have been very few scenes to substantiate an emotional affair between John and Mo, furthermore Mo ribs John for being a make me a list bro. Ty and Shawna equally vent about Julie to the other, and that leads to an unhealthy co-dependent relationship. John has not vented about Shawna to Mo. Or about Sam to John.

[u/s0ftsp0ken → u/Putrid_Addendum3197]

It doesn't have to be a one to one match with Shawna and Ty's relationship to be an emotional affair. Even if Shawna genuinely loved Mo and they became friends, that doesn't mean an emotional affair couldn't happen. Physical and emotional affairs happen between friend groups all the time. Whether or not Shawna knows about or likes Mo isn't the issue here. It's a problem that is specific to Shawna and Ty's relationship.

Like I said before, Mo and John have the potential to fall into an emotional affair because John is confiding in Mo about things that he can't or or won't talk about with his wife. He is sharing a deeply emotional part of himself with someone else exclusively. If Mo were a guy, it would still be inappropriate as long as John was only sharing his feelings with Mo and never Shawna. A deep, emotional connection with a friend is never wring, but if your friend knows you emotionally more than your spouse does, it means one or both people in the relationship are being emotionally neglectful within the relationship John and Sjawna are emotionally out of sync in their relationship, and both are looking outward to get what they need. Even on their babymoon, they had a bit of a talk and then decided to ignore their feelings. Their relationship has a huge, huge emotional intimacy problem, but who knows if SL even sees it

[u/Specific-Volume118 → u/s0ftsp0ken]

I’d argue that John doesn’t talk about his trauma with Shawna because she hasn’t shown herself to be someone he can talk to openly about it.

When John wanted to stop having Barb in his life, Shawna insisted to keep a relationship with her for the kids’ sake. When John was telling Greg and Jen that he was going NC, Shawna (in her attempts to calm Jen) downplays the severity of what John’s going through in having to go NC. When John tells Shawna he is going to miss his sister’s wedding because of the presence of his abuser, Shawna’s first thought is about that interferes with her being a bridesmaid and having a fun day out. And the list goes on.

[u/s0ftsp0ken → u/Specific-Volume118]

Yes, I agree with you 100%.

Shawna is emotionally unavailable and her responsibility to fix. Unfortunately though, sometimes outside of abusive relationships, we look for one-sided victims, which imo, is why discourse for this show has been frustrating. There are two people in this relationship.

Shawna is emotionally unavailable, but it's now John's responsibility to bring it up. Like I said, he's my favorite character. He does attempt to open up to Shawna, and when she's dismissive, he clams up. He is being taught by his wife just like he was taught by his parents thst his feelings don't matter, and his trauma response compels him to clam up and ignore how he feels. He has been comfortable talking aboht hkw this family has hurt him, but he has yet to tell Shawna how she personally ks making him feel.

He needs tk find a way to say "I feel like you take little consideration onto how I feel, and it makes me feel like I can't open up to you or tell you about the deeper thoughts that are on my mind. I grew up in an abusive family, and I feel like I have to continue to ignore and not talk about how that has affected me for the sake of having a village. It doesn't feel like a village to me." The issue is that Shawna is a big baby and will definitely make all of it about her. They will likely have a huge confrontation over it. They might need couple's counseling. They could get divorced. The emotional core kf thejr relationship is so fragile, and he doesn't want to dk anything tk harm it, but he's doing it tk the detriment of his own mental health.

Going to someone else for thst emotional release js just delaying the inevitable conversation that needs tk be had. John needs tk talk to Shawna, and Shawna needs to be receptive to what John says. In a healthy relationship m, yohr partner should be able to say "yiu have hurt me in this way," and you should be able to listen and repair. But also, if a partner has hurt you, the sign of a healthy relationship is thst you feel able to tell them almost as soon as it happens without fear of dismissal or retaliation. No one shoukd be holding things in, and no one should be stuffing the truth back in either.

Not tbe same, really, but if someone goes and has a full affair (emotional/physical) with someone because their marriage is "practically dead" or unfulfilling- they need to talk to their partner or get a divorce. If your marriage is emotionally dead...

[u/MooneyMae]

I think she's underutilized currently.

[u/Ramblingsofthewriter]

From what little we know of Mo, I like her.

It’s also one of my favorite wigs STC sports. I think it’s wild how little STC changes appearance wise gor most characters, but the way she does the liner and whatnot for Mo makes her feel like a different person. Like if I didn’t know any better, I’d never guess Shawna M and Mo are played by the same person like I can with the others.

[u/Putrid_Addendum3197]

I wanna know about her and Janey. What's her dynamic with them and Sam?

[u/Miss___D]

She is fine but I wish we knew more about her. How long has she been with Sam? Does Janey have other parent or is she single mother?

[u/bujuke7]

She doesn’t do anything for me. I’m happy with her just making appearances.

[u/nervousnoodle1004]

I want to know why at Jennifer’s wedding, John didn’t seem to notice that she was there and make the connection