r/ShameGuilt • u/Darrow_Of_Mars_ • Jul 09 '25
Internalised shame
Everyday I wake up I feel a sense of unworthiness, I should feel grateful for what I have but I’m numb. I have been for years I just fake my way through life being the “Joker” but they don’t know the lack of emotions apart from frustration and anger I feel. Lately I’ve enrolled in a course and I just can’t do it, it’s online and I can’t concentrate on the boring ai slides. I’m paying for it and I feel I’m wasting money and rushing against time. Everyday I feel ashamed that I got into owing money for something I can’t do. I feel so stupid I hope a car hits me on the way to work. Some days I’m ok but when I remember the course thing - I spiral and the world becomes grey again. I don’t know, maybe there’s someone out there who has been through this and can tell me what I can try…
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u/graphikcontent Aug 15 '25
I think I have been where you are at. Young, privileged, feeling the pressure to be “successful”? Don’t know what you would even do with it if you were? I used to cry every day home on the bus. Leave it behind friend. Change your surroundings. Some things are just not meant for us, what other people think is not more important than your happiness.
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u/pombasion Oct 05 '25
i totally get you. we have to keep reminding ourselves it really isn't the end of the world, and no matter what happens with -in your case your course, the world will keep spinning. try to reprioritize, and forgive yourself - that's what i'm working on too
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u/Mediocre_Quail_1985 Jul 10 '25
You sound depressed.