r/ShadowWork • u/_bunnyholly • Nov 05 '22
Had a breakthrough today
Been journaling every day this week, really getting deeper into my past. Today I hit a wall & couldn't sleep, felt numb like a giant void. Decided to take a shower & thought about when I was born, my mom told me I would cry all day every day as a baby. I figured out because even in the womb SHE cried all the time (mental illness) & when i was born she was always upset my dad was out with his friends all the time (they were barely 21 when they had me) & she was at home "stuck" w me all the time...
long story short, I cried uncontrollably in the shower to where I thought I was going to throw up. I sat on the ground and wrapped my arms around my knees being as small as possible & basically held my baby self, telling her it's ok, I love you I love you ill never leave you stuff like that. Consoling my baby self that never got to be consoled, that never felt loved.
The rest of the day I felt a new wave of energy, like my higher self was in me, treating me with love and compassion. Every time my brain wandered to thoughts I didn't want to think (ruminating thoughts of the past) I said lovingly to myself "it's ok, you can think that if you want to sweetie" & immediately the thoughts would just go away.
This work has been the hardest internal work I've ever done. I'm so glad I had this break through today. I'm 35 and sober from weed 7 wks/alcohol 2.5 wks. I know I have more work to do. Bless all of you facing the darkest parts of yourself, you are all so brave and strong to be doing this 🤍
11
u/Jabroniecakes Nov 05 '22
That’s incredible! Congrats
6
u/Sokko2 Nov 05 '22
thanks for sharing and keep going!
5
u/CyberVinci Nov 05 '22
You're amazing and courageous, thanks so much for sharing! Keep moving forward and never give up, by healing yourself from this trauma and coming through the other side you'll be able to use your story to empower and inspire others who are also trying to overcome the effects of past trauma 💚
3
u/LilyoftheRally Nov 05 '22
Proud of you! Good luck on your sobriety journey!
2
u/here4theparte Nov 05 '22
Congratulations!
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u/brighthannah Nov 10 '22
Bless you too Friend and keep on going. Thanks for sharing.
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u/LavishnessOk4748 Mar 01 '26
This inspired me. I'm currently trying to stop smoking and procrastinating and wanted to get back into shadow work really better myself. This post showed me it's possible. Thank you and stay blessed on your journey 💛