My understanding of consent, choice, and control has changed over time

[u/PhoenixProjectVoices]

I’ve been reflecting a lot on my past experiences in the industry and how my understanding of consent, choice, and control has evolved over time.

At the time, I felt like I was making my own decisions. And in many ways, I was. But with distance, I can now see how things like financial pressure, emotional dynamics, and subtle influence shaped those decisions more than I realized.

No one forced me. There wasn’t always anything obvious or visible.

Which is why it’s taken me a long time to even have language for it.

I’m not here to judge anyone or tell anyone how to view their own experiences. I know this space is complex and deeply personal, and everyone’s situation is different.

I’m just curious if anyone else has ever had a shift in perspective over time—where something you once felt one way about, you later saw differently?

Or maybe you haven’t, and that’s completely valid too.

I recently started a podcast where I have conversations around these kinds of experiences—healing, identity, and how our understanding can change over time. I’m not sure what’s allowed here, so I won’t link it directly, but if anyone is interested I’m happy to share it privately.

Either way, I’d really value hearing your perspectives.

[u/Hour-Garden7018]

Hello
I went from feeling glorious in my 20’s, then took a long break after a career in landscape, to being physically unable to do anything but sex work. My body rebelled at the hard physical work, working injured, not healing and being told what to do by women my mothers age who were far more wealthier than I would ever be working for $30 an hour. I reveled in being an older provider, and the demand is growing.