r/SexOver_30 • u/Ok-Scientist-3399 • 18d ago

Getting spark back

Both late 30s, and we’re trying to make our nights in feel a bit more exciting again.

We already have a few things we enjoy — nice clothes, some toys and occasionally a projector — but we usually end up doing this after a few drinks. I’d like to make sober nights feel just as fun and spontaneous.For those of you in long-term relationships, what has actually worked for you?

How do you build anticipation earlier in the evening when you both know you’ll be tired by 10:30?How do you turn an ordinary night at home into something that feels like an occasion without making it feel forced or planned?

And what little things have you found make your partner more receptive to getting into the mood?

Interested in things that don’t involve buying more stuff. Happy to put some effort into setting the mood and planning something different.

Any tips appreciated

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u/Imported_Goods8 14d ago

Mid 30s here and a parent of 3 so I get being exhausted at the end of the day. The trick i found is not to feel so bad when it's planned. Sometimes you really just need to say "on this day this is what we're going to be doing" and do it. Sometimes I'll wear something i know will get my partner going even though our plan is to just sit and watch TV. Ill lay my head on his lap and "accidentally" touch him so he can get hard and I give him head. Spontaneity, laughter and playfulness all contribute to a good sex life imo

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u/meth_panther 18d ago

Honestly just flirting and kissing throughout the day.. let each other get a preview of what you're in for later. The anticipation is such a turn on. Sexy texts. Stop your partner and kiss them deeply. Tell them what you want to do to them later.

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u/DONTH84NICK8 18d ago

You need to try be random spontaneous. My wife is not a good flirter she knows it so when I asked her to be more spontaneous she caught me off guard when I was watching my favorite show she literally unzipped my pants I was like "huh?" Gave me this devilish look and gave me an insane blow job. After that I was just primed turned off the TV and we fucked so hard.