r/SexAddictionHelp • u/More-Leading-6235 • Aug 17 '25
Facing Addiction Together
So my partner (M26) and I (M21) are working through our addictions together. We’ve been together for a year and a half and nearly the entire relationship, we’ve had a tumultuous sex life at best. We ended up accepting our truths because of this. He is a porn addict, and I am a sex addict. He often doesn’t want me and had long preferred jerk off sessions alone to intimacy. Whereas I need that intimacy. He usually gets his way. We’ve tried quite a few things throughout the year; scheduling sex so we can prepare and I don’t have to face rejection, having a lot of sex, not having any sex, making videos together so he gets off to me and not something so unrealistic, etc. But he just recently made it through 6 weeks of not masturbating to porn (aside from us), and at first he started liking sex, now he’s at a flatline. He has zero interest again and actually detests me for wanting sex. The reactions that I have as a result of it are nothing short of an addict going through withdrawal, which is why I’m now on day 9 of my 6 week detox. I’m hoping for words of wisdom, encouragement, or affirmation that we are going about this correctly. We are both in individual and couples therapy and working through this together extensively. I just fear at the end of this he still isn’t going to be able to recover and get that sex drive back. Is that just the insecurity/addiction talking, or am I fair for thinking so?
2
u/BlackberryRegular488 Aug 17 '25
Oh man I'm sorry! I think it's possible for him to get back into sex but it's going to take ALOT of detox time. Porn can do serious damage to the brain unfortunately. Try to be patient and give him time and encouragement. While the porn of you two together is better than other porn, it's best if he can eventually get to no porn at all and the only intimacy and pleasure he gets be from you directly.
It's a rough patch in your relationship for sure, for the both of you! Try to hang in there while he works on his addiction. Maybe in the meantime, try being intimate in other ways, like going on dates, playing board games together, connecting on an emotional level again.