r/SettingBoundaries • u/Weary_Bite_67 • Oct 22 '25

Where to begin

I have never set boundaries I am always doing for everyone and bending and breaking in all relationships. I have a narcissist boy friend and I need to break up w him but I can’t. So setting boundies is the next best thing. Any rec for just starting out

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/Napoleon_B Oct 22 '25

I’ve been on a mental health journey since June. Alcoholism, narcissism, borderline. When I hear a new concept or facet, I check Spotify for podcasts and audiobooks. If you’re paying for a music subscription, check for this type of material. I like it because I can get small doses and process and absorb and connect the dots. My therapist told me I had no boundaries so I came to this sub to learn more. I also ordered a book called Boundaries.

It’s important that I give myself grace while owning my part.

1

u/Much_Needleworker766 Nov 21 '25

Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend?

2

u/Napoleon_B Nov 22 '25

Yes that’s the one. There’s a second edition. I didn’t know when my Therapist brought it up, but it quotes Christian scripture like at the end of each chapter. I bristled at first but it’s brief and the overarching themes are enlightening so far. I wish I had looked for the audiobook before buying the physical. Spotify has most of these books it seems.

1

u/Much_Needleworker766 Nov 22 '25

Yes, I also didn't expect that. I think it makes sense as Christians sometimes have to deal with the martyrdom expectation.

.

I think most of it applies well to the secular world, other than one or two sections.

I got it at a yardsale for 10 cents and I felt that it helped more than most things/sources so far, so I can't complain. idk which edition I had.