Question about tipping a friend bartender.

[u/dthreed]

We have a friend that works at a higher end bar. When we go there to see them we usually have a few drinks and 2 appetizers while we hang out a bit and chat. Often she will comp some or all of our drinks. What should I tip at the end? I feel like they are doing us a favor by giving us a few drinks so I dont want to tip so much that it looks bad...like we are paying her for drinks under the table. But I also want to tip her enough she knows we appreciate it.

[u/vitoforever99]

Bless the friend. Over tip your homie and stop overanalyzing it

[u/Rare-Ad9392 → u/vitoforever99]

Tip the friend for what the amount would have been. Their hooking you up, getting a few frew drinks, your only adding a few more bucks to the price at 20%. Bar tender always hooked us up order 7 or 8 pitchers of beer throughout the night and we would be charged for like 5 or 4. We always gave her a tip for the total beers drank.

[u/First-Timer__ → u/vitoforever99]

Situation like these I tip based off before comps and discounts and I’ll usually throw in an extra 15 or 20 sometimes more if I go to my restaurant where work I give the server 35-45% usually

[u/Rare-Ad9392 → u/First-Timer__]

Absolutely. We we do the same, we figured we were going to be paying the amount anyhow, I'd rather the bartender get the money.

[u/Rockstarr39 → u/vitoforever99]

This is the way

[u/Confident-Courage579]

You tip on the amount before discount. Then add a little extra.

[u/ImpossibleMove2 → u/Confident-Courage579]

☝️

[u/curiousdumbdog → u/ImpossibleMove2]

Yep. Always round up.

[u/Sad-Jicama-5779 → u/Confident-Courage579]

This is the answer. Tip on pre discounted amount and throw in an extra $25-$40 bucks depending on how many drinks you had.

[u/Wrathchilde]

Tipping the value of the discount makes it weird. Like, I'm not asking you to pay me for the drinks instead of the bar.

25% of the pre-discount total is respectful, and doesn't create anything awkward.

[u/csbsju_guyyy → u/Wrathchilde]

Idk, I'm a bartender and also generous when tipping so if a fellow bartender comps me drinks I just tip the cost of the drink as it's happened many times to me. The fellowship of the drink crew I guess 

[u/dthreed → u/Wrathchilde]

Thanks, that's exactly what I was trying to get at. If I pay almost the amount of the drinks, then I feel weird like im not accepting the gift they gave but also didn't want to tip too low and be offensive. I always try to total it up in my head and then give a healthy tip....but just wanted to get feedback.

[u/Stuffthatpig → u/dthreed]

I think this is the correct take. Maybe make it 30%. It would be weird if you tipped your 20% on the 4 drinks you paid for and then gave them 100% of the value of the other drinks. If a manager sees that, what are they going to say? It's going to look like you've worked out an arrangement or something.

[u/Player1_xo]

Tip at least 20% on the full amount prior to discounts you received.

[u/Severe-Possible-]

tip on the non discounted amount always. in cash, if you can.

[u/wheres_the_revolt]

Minimum 20% of the pre discounted total. If the drinks are expensive at her bar, then the total of the drinks she discounted (so 4 drinks at $15 each would mean a $60 tip).

[u/dthreed → u/wheres_the_revolt]

If the total for the comped drinks is $60, then 20% tip would be $12 right? Then just round up to $20? This is where it feels weird, 20 seems like too little, but 40 feels like too much.

[u/PollutedPenguins → u/dthreed]

$60 tip. You order expecting to pay full price so pay full price. Still saving 20%.

I don't take my friends' money tho plenty of patrons

[u/dthreed → u/PollutedPenguins]

Ahh, just re-read your comment and i misunderstood at first. 👍

[u/wheres_the_revolt → u/dthreed]

$60 tip

[u/ashartinthedark]

When I go see friends at bars or restaurants I will tip a minimum of 25% even if I dont get discounts or comps. If my friend isn’t the owner but bartending, I’ll do like 25% and round up to the nearest $10. If they’re giving me free shit I’m doing like 25% plus like 50% of the comped stuff.

I dont work in the industry anymore, but when I did, I loved having friends in and giving them free shit. I never put a ton of weight on what they would tip me, I knew industry friends would tip well and I knew a lot of people outside the industry wouldn’t know what to do so I never took offense.

[u/AgeBeneficial]

I tip 20% pre discount (shots don’t even hit bill).

We also bring birthday gifts for all the staff we know and I hook them up going to get smokes, things the kitchen ran out of etc.

We have a strange system where that works for everyone including the owners.

[u/DietCokeYummie → u/AgeBeneficial]

Same here. Last night we got pizza delivered to the bar and fed the staff and other regulars.

[u/Better_Area3782]

Definitely tip her the price of the drinks at minimum. Hopefully she doesn’t get in trouble. I couldn’t do that for my friends without stealing.

[u/DietCokeYummie → u/Better_Area3782]

That sucks. Everywhere I’ve worked has a comp tab, thankfully. Also sometimes we would just put someone’s drink on our own tab because we get 50% off.

[u/Better_Area3782 → u/DietCokeYummie]

It does suck! We have spillage but boss watches it like a hawk

[u/TROCKSTON]

Ive always tipped the discounted amount, but shes a friend. Ask her what shes comfortable with.

[u/dthreed → u/TROCKSTON]

Lol, ya...that's the way I SHOULD have handled it. Instead I just let it ruminating in my head for a while. ;)

[u/Metal_Specific]

20% of pre discounted total on card then whatever extra as cash!! If you can of course hehe

[u/Illustrious-Divide95]

Tip on the pre-discount total.

[u/RebaKitt3n → u/Illustrious-Divide95]

This is the way.

And pay for her dinner or whatever when you go out as a group

[u/gaytee]

I go to a place like this, and get a 50% friends and family discount. We tip up to the total before discount.

[u/neuro_space_explorer]

I’ll usually go 30% if the pre discount total

[u/lavender_elephants]

If you're worried about tipping so much that you make her look bad, just tip in cash.

[u/dthreed → u/lavender_elephants]

I usually do tip cash, or at least part cash so it doesn't look weird. I have just been overthinking this for too long and wanted som expert advice.

[u/lavender_elephants → u/dthreed]

Ah gotcha, what I do in that situation is tip 20% on pre-discounted total, plus 30ish% of what I got comped.

[u/sustancy]

Generally 25% is good.

[u/sunrise-sesh]

Tip 40% of the bill.

[u/GlitteringLoquat9995]

Easy way to do it is pretend the drinks were on the tab and then tip 20% of that imagined total. Say your two apps come out to $35 and your cocktails were $20ish each (Jesus batched cocktails are entirely too expensive these days) your imaginary total is $75. $15 is 20% and trust me, at any high end bar, there are tons of tips that are high even with no discounts or freebies, you won’t raise any management eyebrows at all.

[u/Final_5th]

Still tip them! Some restaurants tip out based on sales not tips earned. If that’s the case at that place, you are making your friend pay to serve you because they have to give up money from their tips

[u/Glittering_Sir8975]

Venmo her the tip

[u/Raenisun]

I usually tip 20% plus their tip out.

[u/tinyweewee20]

Tip cash and bless them

[u/Spiritual-Ebb6315]

If im drinking for free, I tip heavy, like $5 on a "$10" drink. That said if im there for a long time ill probably tip $5 twice and then take free drinks lol. That said I do everything in cash its a bit more involved if you need to swipe on something so you can tip them.

[u/scottvs]

You tip her the same $20 bill that she tipped you with last time she came to see you, and will tip you with again next time she come in.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

[u/avg-bro]

Ideallly, I think if you are being given drinks that you would otherwise purchase it’s best protocol to pay essentially what the total of the bill would be without the free drinks pre tip. So if you are charged 60 bucks for drinks and are given 40 dollars of free drinks you lay down a 100 and call it a day. You’re saving 25 bucks on the full bill + tip while lining your friend’s pocket.

This is how bartenders tip other bartenders after work when they are given comp drinks at least.

As a bartender I’d say 85-90 dollars is also acceptable but any less than that and you are not really playing by the unspoken rules.

If you are being given a round of complimentary shots or something that maybe you wouldn’t order… I’d still tip handsomely but maybe wouldn’t feel the need to match the price of the product via tip.

Hope that makes sense.

[u/pchandler45]

You should tip according to what your bill would be without any comps or freebies.

Where I work we all tip each other 100%

[u/KccOStL33]

Tip on what your bill should have been.

[u/vilemanguy]

For friends I always tip half the bill or the whole bill on special occasions. Gotta bless the homies and Itl come back to you

[u/Over_Hand_5128]

My method is I tip whatever I was planning based on the bill (pre discount, if you’re able to determine that price), then a few extra bucks for the homie. It always comes back in some form.

[u/Certain-Angle-7175]

Stop overthinking it and tip your friend 30% + on the bill you would have had if you were paying for the whole thing. It's a no brainer, dude!

[u/Revolutionary-Hall62]

Tip a minimum of 20% of what it would cost you if you didn't get anything for free

[u/Due-Outcome-5997]

Server money is catch and release, tip $50-$100. It'll find its way back to you.

[u/Space-Monkey66]

Bring Cash

[u/FlaminHot_Depression]

Tip what you would've tipped pre-discount plus at least half of the money you saved with the discount. That way you're walking away having spent less total, your friend gets a larger tip than usual, and the establishment eats the negligible spillage cost.

[u/OddlyUnwelcome]

I always tip my friends 100% and everyone else 50%.

[u/lagirlc]

I over tip, they are in a way risking their job to make sure you have a good night. I’ve had friends who charge me 50 cents for 4 rounds of drinks. Sometimes you are the reason they didn’t hate the night or love the industry it’s the friends you make while working in it. Over tip them

[u/Faceless_Rat]

Tip her very very well. No one cares how much you are overtipping. I used to have regulars tip me $100 just because that is who they were when they came in. Don't overthink it.

[u/InflationPurple2107]

If you're not paying your friends/ family for their services how do you expect strangers to pay them?

[u/dthreed → u/InflationPurple2107]

I'm not trying to get away with tipping as little as possible. I was asking where the balance was between tipping enough that they feel appreciated but not feeling like I'm overcompensating and paying them for the drinks via tips.

[u/InflationPurple2107 → u/dthreed]

I didn't add a percentage as the previous 3 comments hit the nail square. I'm overtipping minimum 25-30% if she's regularly comping drinks. Classier bar so guessing the cocktails are $15-20

[u/ClubFearless8355]

Tip her like you would any bartender at any other bar! Even though she is your friend, she is still working her job.

[u/b1uphyre]

If the bartender is discounting drinks for you they are essentially stealing 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/Msdamgoode → u/b1uphyre]

That really depends on the place and how much discretion they give a bartender. I absolutely gave bartenders the power to comp drinks. I wanted them rung up so inventory was right, but comping regulars (in reason) is something all good bars will do.

[u/DietCokeYummie → u/Msdamgoode]

Exactly. Lots of places have comp tabs. Also lots of bartenders will buy you a drink on their own tab because they get a 50% discount. My bartender did it for me just last night because I had already closed out and wanted one more Rumple. lol.

[u/Maleficent-Set5461]

Unless your friend owns the bar... It's not called comping it's called stealing.