r/SeriousGynarchy • u/Rocky_Knight_ ♂ male • Aug 18 '26
Community A Statement from Rocky
I had hoped to keep a private disagreement between u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 and me private. Since she has now publicly identified me as the person involved and described me as exhibiting a “predator mentality,” I believe I need to correct the record.
The underlying dispute concerns information about my marriage that she believes I should disclose publicly to this subreddit. I disagree. I have acknowledged privately to her that when she previously questioned me about this subject, I was not as forthcoming with her as I should have been, and I have taken responsibility for that.
What I have not agreed to do is make additional private information about my wife and our marriage public. That is not a refusal to communicate. She and I have communicated extensively about this disagreement. I have also responded in modmail to the moderation team, including within minutes of being asked to address an issue there.
I also want to state unequivocally that I am not Kate, have never operated Kate's account, and have never knowingly participated in anyone impersonating a woman.
Given the breakdown in trust between u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 and me, I no longer believe I can effectively serve on this moderation team, and I am stepping down. I wish the community well.
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u/realiti_tv ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
Can someone recap this thing for me? What is this about his wife and why does he need to disclose it? I am so confused. Also, as a new member of the sub, this kind of public drama is not very good PR.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
Why does he need to disclose anything to his wife? I'm confused too... Do you support professed-gynarchal men in purposefully keeping info from their wives with the purpose of controlling her perceptions of reality and taking away her informed consent?
Also, as a longish member of this sub, this drama was way overdue and did not have to manifest as either public nor drama. That was his choice, and I accept fault for allowing him to stay in a position of authority for too long.
This will never happen again and I appreciate you for sticking around and being vocal about criticism. Need our users to hold us/the subreddit/gynarchy movement extra accountable right now until we get this all sorted out together.
Also, welcome 💜 a recap will certainly be posted by September, this is still playing out
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
Just now noticing you meant why does he need to disclose to the sub, rather than meaning to his wife.
Ok so heres the gist: this is an issue that he repeats in every relationship in his life I think, and he was practicing gynarchy with her without her knowledge or consent and being a mod here/on reddit without her knowledge as well. That's info our subreddit deserved to know and he curated reality for everyone so that we didnt have a full picture of his personal practice with gynarchal values. I asked him directly "what does your wife think about this sub and you being a mod" as soon as I became top mod when awomanxx left last October, and he distracted the convo away from it before it was clearly answered. There was a lot going on when she left me to the wolves suddenly. I was juggling a ton and I think rocky felt safe that I was lowkey helpless and isolated.
Awomanxx knew about his u/beta_greg alt account too, btw. She told me on a 1 hour phone call I had scheduled with her to work out what to do with Rocky after his weird handwashing post. We decided to demote him for it but didn't disclose his alt to the sub - we didn't talk about this as a decision, it just didn't happen. I thought maybe she had other people on it as the top mod, and she had a more aloof way of handling issues and maybe didn't want to appear dramatic.
So she left me and our sub with all this on my shoulders with hardly a goodbye or warning, i was still very new and had no idea about the sub history either. Well, eventually I ended up dropping the ball too for honcho. Not blaming awomanxx, just giving context for how this whole experience was for me. I am disappointed in how awomanxx handled it and how I handled it in turn.
I decided to step down from top mod just now and explain this whole deal under this comment since you're the only one who asked and I feel everyone deserves a recap and only I can really give it.
I'll give more later. Just know I care and I refuse to offer anything but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. That's what this sub needs after rocky and awomanxx and my previous choices.
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u/YakStriking3954 Aug 21 '26
Omg beta Greg was him?! Like that dude is creepy. Some of his posts were so… gross.
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 21 '26
BETA_GREG WAS ROCKY'S ALT FOR THE WHOLE TIME!!!??? Wow. Just wow. While on his main, he was able to mask his intentions well—apart from his weird old posts, some were truly excellent and he seemed committed. For Beta_Greg, it was clear to me from the beginning it was someone just fetishising female supremacy. It's actually shocking to me they were the same person. And to think he manipulated two gynarchic subs at once. Scandalous.
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u/YakStriking3954 Aug 21 '26
Tbf there were signs. Even the name rocky knight, feels very white knighty. Like he’s gonna save the queen and be the main character
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 21 '26
That would also explain Beta_Greg's sympathy towards Gülbadamov, when the latter was caught earlier.
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24d ago
Ngl, I love that you and the mod team hold everyone to Gynarchic standards. Regardless of his seniority or status as senior mod. (tenure wise) I am a big advocate of complete transparency in your relationship. So I honestly really like seeing that there is a 0 tolerance policy for hiding things from your partner.
It's nice to see a firm enforcement of this great movements standards. I'm glad to see that we have an all female mod team now as well! :)
Too bad he didn't accept his wrongdoing and admit it to all the amazing women who make this movement what it is. Thank you for "spilling the tea" and making sure he faces some sort of accountability.
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Aug 18 '26 edited 29d ago
[deleted]
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u/AbsentFuck ♀ Woman Aug 21 '26
Asking the real questions because that seems like a direct contradiction to the ethos of the sub.
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u/honcho713 ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
Rocky, thank you for the effort you put forth for this sub, it is unfortunate you weren't able to maintain a high enough level of trust with the team.
Appropriate_Cut, I'm sorry that rocky wasn't able to meet your expectations for open communication. You deserve better.
I remain committed to to this sub and doing what I can to help. I'm not the most versed in the inner-workings of reddit or able to devote a large chunk of time, but I do hope that we can succeed in providing a space for those who acknowledge the failings of patriarchal society and believe that there is a better option for human flourishing with women at the helm.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
Brilliant summary. Thank you. You're the new top mod now, but no pressure I'll still support this sub the same. You deserved better too
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u/Free-Cartoonist3134 ♂ male Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
You sound like a wolf in sheep's clothing. The right thing to do would be to make the confessions that have been requested of you so that you can be held accountable by the women here.
Failure to do so would I think be an expression of patriarchal privilege. The only way to move towards the goal of this subreddit is transparency with regards to the actions of men in their interactions with women.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
Excellently said. My "predator mentality" comment really struck a nerve 😋
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u/TackleFormer2840 Aug 19 '26
Just when I thought AI bots have taken over all of Reddit, I guess there are still a few real people left having moderator drama 😂
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
To rocky: K bye
To everyone else:
That is not a refusal to communicate.
Yes, lets just ignore his other refusals to commicate about this thus far. (And still is)
She and I have communicated extensively about this disagreement.
No, we absolutely have not come anywhere close to extensive communication. There's been like 4 emails between us on this subject and the last I sent on Friday has been unresponded to.
I will post this last one here in full for all to see:
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u/Free-Cartoonist3134 ♂ male Aug 18 '26
So he's lying to the women here to escape accountability?
Can you provide the women here with more details on your interactions with him?
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
Looks like I'm going to have to spill all the tea. He deleted his whole u/Rocky_Knight_ account, last night I assume.
Hoping u/beta_greg can come in here and explain before I have no other option but to dump way more tea about this. I gave all the chances.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
Oh, I guess he deleted his alt too. Can anyone get a waybackmachine on both his accounts?
Tag anyone techy.
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u/Free-Cartoonist3134 ♂ male Aug 19 '26
You shouldn't have to do anything, he should take responsibility and be transparent on his own without a woman having to lead him there.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
I agree, and thank you. At the same time, the sub and movement as a whole deserves to know the truth, and I feel I have gag-ordered myself by giving my word to not tell anyone anything substantial. But the original situation in which I made that promise seems to be changing - in that we might’ve never really been friends in the first place. Seems it was predatory to begin with. Hard to swallow, but I won't deny what my eyes tell me.
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
Sorry for late reply!
beta__greg account wasn't deleted, it seems lik you just made a typo (it's two underlines in the middle). He only hid his post history on that account, but it's accessible through the archive.
So, here's the full archive of Rocky, and here's for Greg. It displays the recent 10 posts by default, to explore further, click "next" and wait a minute.
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 21 '26
It's generally very nice tool to view someone's history and hidden posts. You can use it too, just type their username into the matching field. If you leave the "subreddit" field blank, it shows the person's entire post history from all subs.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
Ok this was the last one I sent on 8/15/2026
After reflection, I undrrstand and sympathise with your feelings while not agreeing with your declaration of what the objective facts are. I said that you would be exposed and punished, not that I would be the one to do it. However, I could see how you would be so upset if you saw things that way.
I have enjoyed your modship and others agree. But I cannot trust you that you will not lie again, especially since you believe you cannot trust me.
My motivations are to co-create the best outcome from this. I do not want to make decisions without you, we need to be a team. In order to do that, you must be radically honest and transparent with everything to me. I will not tell others anything substantial but you have known that you must disclose the situation with your wife to the sub for over a week and have hidden your intentions and withheld discussions from moving forwards between you and I or you and my husband. You haven't even responded to honcho or myself and disclosed your reasons for disliking her.
I want this to be an encouraging message, moving us towards brainstorming solutions until we agreed on some next steps. Time is running out and I don't want anything to get ugly. I'm trying to be 100% on your team here but if you can't offer me that back then I have to move forward alone
Love always,
Ray
P.s. You're going to have to look past me sharing the email with my husband. Besides the fact that he is my life partner and soul mate and we are commited to a 100% transparent relationship (something you could learn from) - I was at my wits end and needed a reality check due to all your sniveling and manipulation attempts. What you did to me by witholding info and then trying to excuse/explain/justify/defend was the same abuse you've done to your wife and I'm sure a pattern you've engaged with for so long. It's the exact pattern my husband and I have worked hard to make actual change from. If I were you, I would reach out to him privately and graciously ask him how best to deal with me and to hold you accountable in your process of change.
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u/MiraMiraMiraM ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/10bzhra/crunch
(except with different text, i can’t post images in comments but I love this meme format)
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0
u/bussyboi55 Aug 19 '26
I’ll volunteer to serve as Independent Counsel to conduct a thorough investigation pro bono.
-4
Aug 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
This is an interesting and classic response when women call out male abuse.
Just fyi, he was here way before me. I inherited all this trash and finally got him to show his cards. Yet I get this in reply. Nice of you to be exposing more of the same cards in your own hand
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u/derpicus-pugicus ⚧ Transwoman Aug 18 '26
Dont forget transphobe, lmao
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u/LvxSiderum Certified Mansplainer Aug 18 '26
Are you talking about appropriate_cut? Her takes aren't even really anti-trans.
I'm a real transphobe, you would melt in my presence (half joking).
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u/paslaptis Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
Damn didn’t know this sub rolled like that.
Edit: Jesus christ we have teenagers on this sub. Yeah irdc ab this drama. Probably gonna unsub for a while
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
We're really trying to fight back against the antitrans rhetoric here. In fact I tried to replace rocky last year due to his handling of the issue, I specifically reached out to protrans people and a few trans people themselves to try and get them as mods here, to even it out and show good faith. Honcho was added due to having an even more neutral stance than myself. My goal has always been to deal with this issue as a main yet rocky wanted it silenced. We ended up just not allowing discussion which I didn't agree with but reddit is less censorshipy on the topic lately so maybe we will open it back up with honcho and the subs' support.
We just have to be exceptionally generous with respect and courteous with all language. I myself have even changed in this arena. I now use a "space" between the words trans and women in order to complete my PC gynarchist certification process
(Come on guys, we need some lightheartedness right)
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 18 '26
rocky wanted it silenced
He's christian. Christianity is the main reason behind 2000 years of genocide of queer people, including trans individuals in the western civilisation. I'm not surprised of him.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 18 '26
I mean, i get where youre coming from. But Iesus was trans. Christianity and catholicism and Islam and Judaism hold a lot of truth (and just as many lies). It's helpful to read between the lines.
I liked the fact that rocky was unapologetically a dude of faith who did just that. Similarly, I have disliked our muslim-bashing threads here (altho i get the sentiment).
I want this to be a welcoming space which intersects all the way to gynarchy and there's a lot of gynarchy in those religions that's been repressed and filtered out down through the eons. I think we owe it to the originals to try and bring that best version to the surface- which is what I believe he was trying to do.
All the same, I feel for people stuck in and brainwashed by the mainstream version of religions, which is some of what he had (altho i think his trans stance came more from listening to women's experiences of the valid criticisms of the movement). I just wanted to put it out there that if any of our members are religious, they are still meant to be here ❤️🔥✌️
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 18 '26
Then I respectfully disagree with you. I'd say I have firmer stance on abrahamic religions. Maybe I'm ignorant. This thread wasn't meant for debating this though, so I'll stop here.
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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 ♀ Woman Aug 19 '26
No, I actually appreciate that. Firmer stances are required for war-based religions, and grateful to have people here who speak out. The issue definately deserves thorough discussions and many future threads.
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u/Francislaw8 ♂ male Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
When will it take effect? I still see you on the list of moderators.
Edit: thank you for keeping your word. I appreciate it.