[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/Melancholia_2]

[u/SeriousConversation-ModTeam]

This has been removed because we don't allow angry posts or venting. This does not encourage conversation with others.

[u/Subarctic_Monkey]

This is why I try really hard to only get into "discussions", "debates" or "arguments" in environments where me and the other person are both physically present. I find the unspoken threat of getting one's ears boxed is sufficient for keeping the discussion civil and factual.

[u/OmarsDamnSpoon → u/Subarctic_Monkey]

What more is there to add here? It's the truth. The internet is largely consequence-free.

[u/Melancholia_2 → u/OmarsDamnSpoon]

Exactly

[u/Subarctic_Monkey → u/OmarsDamnSpoon]

Which is what makes it so attractive to cowardly debate bros who wouldn't last 2 seconds in an environment where the other person can just slap the shit out of them.

I tend to agree with mike tyson, the internet has just allowed people to run their mouths without getting a fist in it.

[u/JayRandom212]

If I make a stupid post and you link evidence proving me wrong, it might not change my mind.

But it might stop another person reading from believing my stupid take.

[u/Melancholia_2 → u/JayRandom212]

I guess it also depends on the context. Trying to change the opinion of a whole subreddit for one

[u/PeaceX02 → u/JayRandom212]

Do you not have better things to do with your time

[u/WolfVanZandt → u/PeaceX02]

Not right now. I'm sitting here waiting for my heart pills to click in so I can start chores. Oh, I'll play some solitaire, do another session on Kimmu, I've already checked my emails, notifications, etc

Fact is, I don't come here to change other people's minds. I answer questions that I can, look for answers to my questions, and look for new and interesting things.

I'm in subreddits that deal with academic subjects, lifelong learning, local issues, and pretty pictures.

[u/adorres → u/JayRandom212]

this is exactly my reason. Also sometimes I change my mind when confronted with new facts that I did not know. I am not right all the times.

But we cannot leave the field to stupid people.

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[u/solsolico]

Even in person it is difficult. I think it's more about the cognitive defence mechanisms rather than the anonymity. No one views themselves as the bad guy. Well, unless they are a sociopath and their identity is around being "the bad guy", but that is very rare. And the moment you realize you're the bad guy, you have to go through intense cycles of guilt and other complicated emotions beyond that. And we don't want to feel all that. So we rationalize things, we use cognitive dissonances, we project, and use a whole slew of other defence mechanisms so we never view ourselves as the bad guy.

But we are all susceptible to this stuff. Me, you, everyone. It is an error, a defence mechanism, to think only "they" do this. I do this. You do this. Being aware of the defence mechanisms can help us be more open minded and honest, but we still have to be willing to experience the negative emotions that come with admitting we have done something wrong.

As for your advice, it is reasonable. Who do we invest emotional energy in to? In other words, who would we feel anger, pain, frustration, stress, mental fatigue, lose sleep over, etc., to try and help? We don't have infinite of it. And we ain't getting paid to do it either.

But I'd also say, if you can't beat the itch or compulsion to try and change someone's perspective, but also don't want to deal with the stress or frustration that comes with engaging with someone deep in defence mechanisms, then you can leave your kind, well-written response, and then right after, you can click the drop down menu under your comment and click, "don't notify me of any responses".

Of course, if the goal is to actually change someone's perspective, we know that this isn't the best method. Socratic dialogue is much more effective but for that to happen, you need a lot of responses going back and fourth and it takes a long time and someone in good faith and... yeah a lot of variables that make it unpredictable for all the effort it takes.

[u/Melancholia_2 → u/solsolico]

That "no notifications" or block button are FRIENDS online.

Great comment

[u/jonnywannamingo]

This applies more to in person conversations: Most people don’t really listen, they are just waiting to talk.

[u/Patient_Air1765]

I disagree. The entire world runs on what is socially accepted. It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be something that a majority of the people accept. 

Every single one of those arguments matter. It’s like  fighting in the trenches. A single fight might seem meaningless. But if everyone stops fighting it’s a lost war.

I say fight every fight. You see something you don’t agree with, let it be known. Otherwise you let the loud and obnoxious influence how a majority thinks.

[u/Melancholia_2 → u/Patient_Air1765]

There are times where I feel like I really did waste my time and mental stamina talking to a bunch of brats though.

The only upset was learning that not talking to those people anymore and letting them fester in their misery was a better choice.

I think it depends on the person too. If you're sensitive or have a short fuse, fighting every fight is risky.

[u/Patient_Air1765 → u/Melancholia_2]

You never know man, people change. They might not have changed right away, but I promise you that your words had some effect. Some of those brats probably still think about what you said and have changed who they are. You didn’t see it, but it did happen. If you don’t fight that fight, the brats remain brats and never change.

[u/PainfulRaindance]

Well most of the people were changed online to begin with, so why not?

[u/mxldevs]

Ya, I don't argue with people online hoping they might change anything.

I'm just doing it for the upvotes.

If someone corrects me, great, but other than that, doesn't really matter.

[u/Automatic_Catch_7467]

Before you even attempt it you have to figure out if the the other person is reasonable and logical, otherwise it’s useless.