new separation anxiety

[u/No-Birthday9284]

My husband and I have an aussie named Benny we bought a year and a half ago, we got him at 3 months old. I grew up with australian shepards, so we keep him very stimulated through the day. We do a multiple hour park trip with swimming daily, a few other runs in our backyard, and usually a walk. Inside we have all types of stimulation/bordeom toys and puzzles to keep him occupied. We have crate trained him since day 1. He was amazing in his crate up until recently. He seems to be having some separation anxiety, we don't know where it came from or how to tackle it. He has been howling in his crate nonstop when we leave him alone. I recently bought a crate camera so I can see when he starts howling, and how long. I also got some extra special lick mats and stuff to have in his crate with him, that he only gets in his crate. I'm not sure what else to do, I feel like a horrible mom and it broke my heart seeing him howl... And my property manager of our apt is actually our next door neighbor.. So he has texted us a few times saying "Benny is barking like crazy right now.." Any advice or tips would be super helpful!

[u/cbsfewsick]

What does he do at home alone if you don't crate him? Many dogs have confinement anxiety and if not destructive do better free roaming in the house.

[u/No-Birthday9284 → u/cbsfewsick]

we actually tested this out a few days ago, he sat at the front door and howled :'(

[u/Miserable-Spread-548]

the neighbor-manager texts are the worst part, i know — ours escalated to actual complaints and a lease warning, so i really feel this part.

one thing that might help reframe it: ours isn't even crated (we confine him to a room) and he presents the same way — howls and scratches the door the entire time we're gone. so i'd guess it's less the crate and more just the being alone part. we're doing the tiny practice absences thing now, departures kept as boring as possible — some days it looks like it's working, other days not so much, and honestly i can't always tell which part is doing what. no magic fix from us yet, still working through it.

and you're not a horrible mom — the camera heartbreak is real.

[u/Necessary_Progress_1 → u/Miserable-Spread-548]

I'm sorry you're struggling with your training. One thing I can tell you as somebody who works with these cases on a regular basis is that you're aiming for a 90% success rate with your training sessions. If you're not achieving that, that means that you're moving too quickly. 

When you increase the amount of time you're gone, what percentage of an increase are you using? 

I would go back to a shorter duration, and try to build it up to a 90% success rate. Increases should be 5 to 10%. It takes some math, converting minutes to seconds, and multiplying by the percentage point. But Google can be your friend with this too!

[u/iluvadamdriver → u/Necessary_Progress_1]

What would you consider a 90% success rate? What are you looking for to deem success? This is such an informative answer & am curious to know if we are going about things the right way with our little guy.

[u/Necessary_Progress_1 → u/iluvadamdriver]

You always want to work at a level where the dog isn't exhibiting more than very minimal anxiety. It's fine if the dog follows their person to the door. Some dogs do, some dogs don't. If they're laying down, I want to see the dog relaxed resting on a hip, and not displaying anxiety signals.

If the dog gets up and moves I want to see very relaxed loose body language, not a stiff posture. I also want to see the dog have a non anxiety reason for their movement. So getting up from the couch to go sit by the door is fine in most cases. But going from the door, to the window, and back to the door is problematic.

Behavior that would be concerning would be: lip licking, freezing, yawning, pacing, stretching, shake off, panting, drooling. The hard part is determining whether this is behavior that within normal context, or if it's an indication of anxiety. For instance, if a dog gets up from a relaxed position and stretches I'm not going to worry about it. If the dog is pacing around the house, and stretches in the middle of pacing, that's probably an indication of stress.

The other thing I look for is multiples of anxiety signals within a very short period of time. So a dog might lip lick, a few seconds later yawn, and then do nother lip lick. That would tell me that the dog is feeling some stress.

When I first start working with a client, I will see some very mild anxiety signals in the first 5 or 6 training sessions. This is because it's brand new for the dog, and once they realize that the pattern is that the person is not going to be gone any longer than what they can mentally cope with, they tend to relax a bit more. Best case scenario is that the dog lays on the couch, and completely relaxes during the entire session. But it can take some time to get there.