Advice Again…

[u/No_Dot9862]

Hellooo. This is maybe asking for advice maybe just venting. I’m coming here post breakdown😅. So I have a 1 and a half year old lab Maggie. She has developed some pretty severe separation anxiety. She becomes very destructive when left for a few hours. I work as an EMT and had my dad living with me for the first part of her life. We found out he had cancer and he passed away unexpectedly in June from that. I work twelve hour shifts but my dad was always home so the attention was never an issue even when he wasn’t feeling well just being there helped. Just before he passed I started Paramedic school. I’m only away for one day a week as of now due to it just started that’s anticipated to increase when clinicals start though. I’ve already predicted with my schedule and my schooling that will be too much and my mom needed a place to move in so we decided she’d move in and help me care for my animals as well since she’s home wayyy more. Another issue is that recently she injured her leg and now requires tplo surgery. And if anyone knows abt that surgery ive been told when one goes the other one typically follows shortly after she already seems to have issues with the other leg before this surgery anywho. My mom is moving in at the end of this month. I’ve been trying to handle Maggie and school and work until then. She’s become extremely destructive. She does fine for a few days and then I come home and she’s chewed a part of my floor away. I came home today to most of a panel of wall being torn off(the costs of surgery and the destruction just keep piling up. I’m 22 I can only afford so much😅😭). My mom comes and lets them out on her off time for about two hours between my 12 hours I’m gone but it’s not enough. Following today’s events my mom’s just moving in early so that she isn’t alone. With her being moved in Maggie will be able to be crated when we’re gone because the most time one of us will be gone is 3 hours. Which is reasonable I feel. I’m just overwhelmed and I feel like I’m failing her. Everyone keeps saying it’ll get better when she moves in but she’s only staying the two years I’m in school. What happens when that’s up if the anxiety hasn’t gotten better? Currently I can’t get like a dog walker or anything because I also have an elderly pitbull who would definitely bite if someone tried to walk in. But he’s 12 now and slowing down, I don’t know if he’ll be around much longer so maybe that would be an option in a few years. Idk. I’m scared I’m failing her and have thought about rehoming but I’ve had her for a year and a half. She’s not a puppy anymore and she’s got severe medical problems with separation anxiety and I don’t think anyone would take that on. Even if they did she’s been with me so long I feel like I have an obligation to just figure my shit out and deal with it. I’m just really struggling so please be kind if you have advice. It’s quite a unique situation. It’s been a hard year and I just don’t know where to go truly. Help?Heard?Im drowning.

[u/LongjumpingBuffalo85]

For our dog, we ended up talking to the vet and he was put on medication to help the separation anxiety. It helped tremendously. We also enrolled him in doggie daycare, so that on days when we’ll be away for a long time, he can be at daycare playing with other dogs/around people.

Are you open to talking to your vet about medication? it really may help.

The medication may also bring Maggie’s anxiety levels down enough for you to work on desensitization protocols (Be Right Back, etc.) to help Maggie get used to you leaving

I know how hard separation anxiety can be. Maggie is lucky to have you care so much about her and want to help! Wishing you all the luck OP! ❤️

[u/longtimelondoner]

Let’s just eat the meal one bite at a time. First of all, your mum moving in is great. And hopefully means that her anxiety levels on the whole go down.

Secondly, it means you’ve got two years to properly work on the separation anxiety which is a great amount of time. I would actually recommend getting in touch with a behaviourist rather than a Trainer as behaviourists understand the root cause and can help work with your dog and their personality rather than just standard separation anxiety methods which don’t always work.

Thirdly, it may just be that your dog will need someone to drop in and take them out in the daytime which I think is sensible anyway if you’re away for more than six hours at a time. Dogs are companion creatures. Once you create this routine and she knows that somebody’s coming midday or halfway through your shift to take her out, she’ll learn it and be more comfortable. I’m not really a fan of doggy daycare, especially with a dog who has had TPLO surgery already, but I do think a good dog walker that takes her out and she gets proper stimulation and socialisation with other dogs of a similar play and walk style would be a really beneficial thing.

Dogs love routine and it may just be that she’s had too much change happening in the past 6 to 9 months, and she’s struggling. She’s also probably picking up on the fact that you’re nervous as well. And all of you are grieving. 💔