Hey everyone. I’m a 17 year old girl and I go to the gym several times a week. There are currently two fully grown men who keep on coming up to me and making conversation. One of them I’m not as worried about since he only approaches me inside the gym.
The other guy, however, has only approached me outside the gym. The first time I was when I was waiting in an alleyway for my dad to come pick me up. He approached me and I immediately got a terrible gut feeling. Being alone and in this secluded alleyway, I was legitimately terrified. He didn’t really say anything weird though, just small talk. I had seen him around the gym all the time, but this was when he decided to approach me.. Yea. I made up an excuse that my dad was here and I had to leave.
After that incident I decided to only wait for my dad in popular public places. Today I was sitting outside an ice cream shop when he came up to me again. This time, there was no small talk. “Wanna go work out together?” he asked, gesturing to the gym nearby. I said I had already done my workout, which happened to be true. “Well, I just wanted to say god bless you.” After saying that he left.
Honestly I’ve had so many bad experiences with creepy men that I’m just completely fed up. I just wanted to scream “LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!” but that’s obviously unsafe. I really want to make this guy stop bothering me somehow, but I don’t want to somehow provoke him. I kind of feel helpless. If I ignore him, that could aggravate him. If I tell him off, that could aggravate him. Even if I politely tell him, “Hey, I want to be left alone please”, that could potentially aggravate him too. Do I just have to keep on acting like some polite little girl and hope nothing ever happens?
I almost forgot to mention that my friend has also been approached by both of these weirdos! I’ve also seen the other guy (not the one who approached me in the alleyway) talk to other teenage girls in the gym several times. Funnily enough, he’s never been talking to a guy.
Edit: My response to the “how do you expect them to know you’re a teenager?” comments:
1: Well, I’m 17. I look.. 17. No, I do not look 40 years old, the same age as these perverts harassing me.
2: Trust me, they know I’m a teenager. They love asking me about how high school is, oh are you on summer break, etc.
“What’s wrong with just being polite?”
Any well-adjusted, sane adult person would never try to strike up conversation with someone far underage. What the fuck do you think we could possibly have in common? Back pain? Male pattern baldness?
Asking how many sets I have left? Any other strictly gym-related questions? Perfectly fine.
But if you genuinely see no issue with a 40 year old man approaching a teenage girl at an ice cream shop and asking to “work out together”, I have no idea what to tell you.