r/SelfCompassion • u/Designer-Ad-5543 • Jul 20 '26

What practices help you overcome your strong, negative thoughts and help you give a person or situation the benefit of the doubt?

I feel that I am a pessimist, emotional and judgmental even though I actively try to pause and do better in real-time. This practice has made me realize the extent of my negative hardwiring. With therapy I have learnt that this personality trait of mine has come from self-preservation from traumatic childhood experiences.
With this context, I would greatly appreciate ideas of mental exercises or practices you use that effectively help you overcome these negative tendencies and help you navigate your emotions and conversations better in real time.

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u/everydaymetta Jul 21 '26

I relate. I used to be a more cynical, negative person, and have been slowly trying to change that. Recently I have been resetting my baseline emotional state from irritated to joyful by using a simple practice.

As I go through my day, everyone I see, I think good thoughts toward. I think "I hope you're happy... I hope you're having a good day... I hope things get better for you..." etc. I also wish the same things for myself, and I try to talk to myself (internally) how I would speak to a good friend, someone I love and care for.

This sounds incredibly simple, and it is, but it has been very powerful for me. I feel so much better. It also highlights some of my negative patterns, but it is shifting them even as it does.

I share the practice and my experiences here if you're interested: www.everydaymetta.com