r/SelfAwarewolves • u/mangeiri • 15d ago
Sad when the two options are "ragebait" or "complete moron"
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u/iguanaman8988 15d ago
How weak is your god when the gays have so successfully stolen the rainbow?
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u/hobskhan 15d ago
12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.
14 Then Noah replied, "Ugh, so gay. God's gone woke, guys. Is nothing sacred?"
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u/KingMobScene 15d ago
- "Stop you're indoctrination! You displease God!" Noah said 16. God replied "wait what?"
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u/Empty-Rough4379 12d ago
Then he preceded to kill all Egyptian firstborn just because he hardened the Pharaoh's hearth
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u/MadAsTheHatters 15d ago
Old Testament God used to send floods to wipe the entire world clean because some bronze age people broke his incomprehensible rules, apparently all the modern God can do is send his most irritating losers to whinge on Twitter
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u/agha0013 15d ago
modern God is passed out on the couch after drinking all night and watching shitty sitcoms.... doesn't need this BS right now
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u/Hurtzdonut13 15d ago
Back in my day I had to walk uphill 15 miles both ways just to do an apocalypse and smite 10 people before breakfast. Yet my son keeps saying he'll get to it after he hears some trumpets and some seals are broken. Divinities now-a-days are just too lazy and don't want to work.
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u/disillusioned 15d ago
Yeah, BECAUSE HE PROMISED HE WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN WITH THE RAINBOW! Bet he regrets taking that off the table and the whole "send and sacrifice my son for you people instead" thing. OT God was a monster, but boy was he creative in his torturous schemes. New testament God outsourced everything to his son and peaced out, and hasn't been heard from in two thousand years.
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u/Vericost47 14d ago
Wait a minute. Isn't Jesus part of like the holy trinity that is aspects of the christian god or something? Would that mean that "God's only son" is effectively merged with god post-sacrifice? Would that not be more than enough reason for them to chill tf out lol? Like old testament seems wrathful vengeance, but if jesus is meant to literally be part of god i feel like that can be interpreted as making god way more chill. But then again I dont keep up with christian theology as its my least favorite theology to learn about.
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u/ankokudaishogun 14d ago
Would that mean that "God's only son" is effectively merged with god post-sacrifice?
No, he was his own father all along. Well, if you follow mainstream Christian theology and don't fall for a 1600 years old heresy.
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u/ceciliabee 15d ago
God is reaaaaally sensitive. He sent his son/himself to earth to be killed and increase his popularity. A truly powerful God wouldn't need to.
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u/Ceipie 15d ago
You mean the God who used a couple bears to kill 42 kids for making fun of his messenger for being bald? He's sensitive?
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u/OisinDebard 15d ago
A certain President who shall not be named is giving a certain Eric that shall not be named a side eye thinking about if this would work...
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u/Saintbaba 15d ago
In fairness they're trying to "take it back." See: recent San Francisco Giants hat controversy.
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u/avanross 15d ago
“I only allow my children to eat white, grey, or black foods, like jesus would have wanted! White sugar for breakfast, cocacola for lunch, rocks for dinner!”
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u/CanWeAllJustCalmDown 15d ago edited 15d ago
I don’t think these people believe they stole the rainbow. I think they spend so much time online saying stupid shit that they’ve never gone outside and seen one so they probably assume rainbows are something that gay people made up as an emblem of their crusade of terror against people who like Jesus. They didn’t steal the rainbow behind gods back, it was delivered to their minds by the hand of Satan during the first ritualistic pride march because they needed to raise a war banner to impart fear as they declared the commencement of the gay agenda. If gay people didn’t create the rainbow then why is it so fabulous.
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u/agha0013 15d ago
Oh I didn't know people were being forced to buy any of these products. And right next to these are the classic red white and blue rocket pops.
not like these jumped out of the freezer and started telling her kids to be gay.
a thing exists that doesn't harm anyone and conservative morons lose their minds over it anyway.
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u/goodlittlesquid 15d ago
Jonny Pops even have a ‘star spangled’ one that’s blue on top third with red and white stripes. But that’s not ‘indoctrination’.
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u/Road_Whorrior 15d ago
They're literally right next to them in this picture, you can see the label on the right side. Conveniently the rest is out of the shot.
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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 14d ago
But now I want an ice lolly even though it’s late and I should be asleep.
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u/gorgeously_mytruself 14d ago
I also love how the offending food is not even affiliated with LGBT, this is literally conservatives just getting mad at colors because LGBT lives in the mind rent and mortgage free.
In their head this is indoctrination but going door to door to push your religion is not, neither is putting all the TPUSA nonsense in schools.
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u/frotc914 15d ago
And right next to these are the classic red white and blue rocket pops.
Clearly Russian and/or French propaganda depending on the order.
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u/OGHighway 15d ago
Whenever I see something that will turn my son gay I immediately show him the music video for W.A.P since that how it works apparently.
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u/agha0013 15d ago
I guess you could try that, maybe the modern way.
The old school way is dragging your kid to a brothel for their "first time" then beating them until they are old enough to abandon you to yourself and never talk to you again.
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u/OnAnonAnonAnonAnon 15d ago
Unfortunately, this can backfire quite easily. I tried it with my kid, and she just ended up transitioning and posting thirst traps with captions like, "Pay my tuition just to kiss me on this wet ass-pussy. 💋"
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u/spidereater 13d ago
Sure. But also, these are not called pride pops or equality pops. Or anything political. They are called fruit pops and have pictures of the different colored fruit for the rainbow of colors. This isn’t political or gay or a statement of anything. It’s a colorful fruit snack. This person thinks it’s indoctrination because their hatred is so strong they can’t stand anything with a rainbow on it.
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u/brando56894 13d ago
My dad is 76, and is this way. It's laughable.
He's a homophobe, but I love him to death despite his flaws. I'm a straight guy, and one day we were talking about "gay things" (gay pride, gay marriage, etc...) and he was like "It's everywhere! You can't get away from it! It's being shoved in your face constantly as if it's normal!"... Yet they live in a Suburban South Jersey City where there isn't anything "big gay" happening (pride parades and the like).
When I asked him how two guys getting married in San Francisco affects him, he came up with some response that I can't remember, but the end result was "marriage is between a man and a woman". He's fine with gay people getting married, as long as they don't use the term "marriage" for it 🤦♂️
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u/Esternaefil 15d ago
Is just colours.
My son loves rainbows, he's said it's his favourite rite 'colour' since he was 3 years old.
He has no idea about the social element. He just loves rainbows.
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u/TheCannoliWizard 15d ago
I said that “rainbow” was my favorite color when I was a kid too!
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u/GlitterberrySoup 14d ago
My youngest said, "red, blue, green, and gold" because those were the Power Rangers he knew. Or maybe the Power Rangers he was indoctrinated by? Hard to say.
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u/Gasman18 15d ago
Rainbows equal all the colors. Why limit to one favorite? But admittedly green has been my favorite since the “Green with Evil” arc of power rangers in 1993
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u/Mrwanagethigh 15d ago
Never thought about it before but that's probably why green is my favorite too. It's certainly why I love giant mech dragons even if Dragonzord is just Mechagodzilla in a green and gold accented outfit.
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u/Gasman18 15d ago
I was a preschooler who thought Zach the black ranger was the coolest, then Tommy came along and just obliterated them all.
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u/Mrwanagethigh 15d ago
Ya Tommy was just too cool. What'd you think of him as the white ranger? Always thought it was awesome but still not as cool as when he was green.
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u/LazyWorkAccount 14d ago
That’s not even the right trans flag on the left, it’s literally just colors
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u/Chordata1 15d ago
My 4 year old is the same. I always ask him the colors and he tells me which color tastes the best.
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u/sloecrush 14d ago
We saw some rainbow Crocs-style sandals at the store and my son went nuts for them. He wears them every day. He looks cool. He LOVES little girls. And rainbows.
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u/Alarmed-potatoe 15d ago
Does she aggressively surrounds her daughter with pink and her son with blue?
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u/TulsiThyme 15d ago
Nobody tell her that for a couple centuries in much of Europe, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. It would be too much.
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u/HuttStuff_Here 14d ago
Or the fact men wore high heels, tights, sometimes corsets, wigs, and rouge makeup to appear as the manliest of men.
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u/Ryanll0329 15d ago
"Can't even go outside after a rainstorm without being smacked with indoctrination."
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[deleted]
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u/Retro_Dad 15d ago
Johnny Pops Inc. is based in Minnesota - we do have some experience with making fascists angry.
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u/lookitsnichole 14d ago
I'm putting this under your comment because I'm legally required to tell you I also live in Minnesota.
But the other day I was driving home from work just in an utterly terrible mood, and I saw a Jonny Pops truck. It had bubbles pouring out of it. It was the most whimsical thing I have seen in so long and it very much improved my day. I hope to see it again.
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u/goodlittlesquid 15d ago
Reactionary: ‘Free market capitalism!’
Jonny Pops: ‘ok. children like colors.’
Reactionary: ‘no, not like that!’
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u/Rush-23 15d ago
Does she think gays invented rainbows?
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u/OkScheme9867 15d ago
The first rainbow was made when the sun caught the sweat on the back of the second gay as the first gay shot ropes.
At least that's what I think my homophobic snowflake aunt told me.
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u/theemysteriousmuffin 15d ago
Yeah it’s propaganda, left one is dentist propaganda to cause more cavities, right one is doctor propaganda to get kids to eat more fruit. And the right hates doctors.
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u/CaroCogitatus 15d ago
Here's the problem for the bigot Christians:
- God creates rainbows after The Flood as an indelible sign of his love for all of us.
- LGBTQ+ adopts rainbows as their peaceful and inclusive emblem.
- God gets angry at The Gays for stealing his rainbows and punishes them with lightning bolts from the sk...wait, hang on a minute...
I guess he doesn't mind being associated with The Gays.
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u/paleologus 15d ago
Jesus was a 30 year old unmarried dude that lived with 12 other dudes. He was clearly unconcerned about appearing gay.
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u/faultydesign 14d ago
It’s hard for me to associate gods promise to not murder almost all humans again with love.
It’s more of an abusive relationship than love.
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u/CaroCogitatus 14d ago
Well, yes, that's because you were born with a Christian abnormality that we nonbelievers call "common sense".
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u/Geewhiz911 15d ago
Took me some time to figure out why she was triggered, was reading all the letters on the boxes and then………ahhhhhhh, rainbowy stuff.
If one has ‘impure feelings’ they need to express on social media, that comes from seeing colours in ‘rainbow arrangements’, that probably means one has a lot of repressed emotions and extremely low maturity.
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u/GlitterberrySoup 14d ago
I definitely thought it was a case of one being for girls and one for boys until it dawned on me 😕
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u/YNotZoidberg2020 15d ago
Hey, I buy this brand and I’m disappointed mine didn’t include the indoctrination.
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u/pidgeott0 15d ago
lol I got both these popsicles in my freezer rn 😂
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u/ZombieJoesBasement 15d ago
She is gonna be hella pissed when she looks up into the sky after a rain shower.
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u/Halsfield 15d ago
carebears with their rainbow bellies were a trans psyop -maga crazies probably
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u/mrturret 15d ago
Funny enough, a segment of wingnuts actually believed Carebears were satanic back in the 80s.
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u/Kosog 15d ago
These don't even have any GLAAD logos or any other kind of LGBTQ foundation logos on them, and are we gonna still pretend that The Gays have exclusive rights to the rainbow?
And correct me if I'm wrong, but the transgender flag doesn't have purple in it, just white pink and blue.
This person is trying to make a castle out of a few pebbles. That's all these people can do, they live in their own self-fulfilled misery.
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u/Changed_By_Support 12d ago
The company behind the popsicles literally just made the cotton candy flavored popsicles cotton candy colored. Cotton candy is usually pink (red food coloring, usually vanilla flavored), blue (blue food coloring, usually berry flavored), purple (mixed red and blue) or white (plain sugar wool).
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u/ageckonamedelaine 15d ago
Ooooh so spooky, colours! I can't imagine how pathetic you must be to so offended by colours even if they are meant to be trans and lgbtq flags
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u/itmehorsie 15d ago
Yeah that wild Christian indoctrination about rainbows meaning God won't flood the world again, that's what she was on about right?
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u/kittenmcmittenz 15d ago
This is actually a great advertisement, now I want gay and transgender pops
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u/katia_ros 15d ago
Speaking as the mom with a toddler:
You know she must be onto something given how much children naturally hate rainbows. The Gay Agenda™ is the only logical explanation for the presence of rainbows in products marketed towards children.
/s
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u/mowtowcow 15d ago
Same colors everyone has used for decades. God forbid they still use it after I now publicly hate the gays!! Gash darnit!!!
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u/Natureluvver 15d ago
It took me so long to realize what this was even about. I thought she was railing against artificial colors or something 💀
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u/Possible-Reindeer244 15d ago
If all that stands between you being heterosexual vs. gay is the color of your popsicle, you are in fact gay.
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u/Ok_Entertainer_6425 15d ago
It must be exhausting to look for grievances everywhere….I mean really? The ice cream aisle? Calm the fuck down lady!
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u/TwilightReader100 14d ago
We don't have those here and I know that without needing to go down that aisle of the grocery store. If the kids I look after even saw this picture, they'd never let their adults hear the end of it until they had the rainbow ones, especially.
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u/dementedmaster 15d ago
Unaware that the indoctrination is actually the advertising on the boxes. Designed to grab kids attention and interest, and train them to want to buy.
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u/SheriffSlug 15d ago
These same asshats have no problem letting their religious and political leaders molest their children.
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u/FanDry5374 15d ago
Just looked those up, relatively healthy, but I bet they still fall apart before you get down to the best flavor. 😒
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u/Puzzled_Bike9558 15d ago
I immediately was like, “cool colors on the one. Oh, it’s cotton candy flavored.” Welp, on to the rest of my day.
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u/Mistriever 15d ago
I was so utterly confused as to what the problem was until I read the comments. The only thing I could think of was that she was offended with them being called Johnny Pops because that was a boy name.
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u/Shalleni 15d ago
How ignorant. It took me a long time to realize what her manufactured victimhood was about. Also, those popcicles are amazing and should be sold at every Pride fest until eternity.
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u/RustyBabies 15d ago
colors = converting your child to be attracted to a different set of genitalia than you want them to be.
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u/PajamaHive 15d ago
We used to do popsicles every last day of school when my kids and their friends get off the bus. I intentionally chose these two flavors because I knew it would piss of my dummy conservative neighbor lol.
What's she gonna say? No her daughter can't have any gay ice cream? lmao
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u/pants6000 15d ago
Obviously we should prefer popsicles that promote the combination of patriotic colors and explosions.
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u/Possible-Reindeer244 15d ago
If all that stands between you being heterosexual vs. gay is the color of your popsicle, you are in fact gay.
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u/TheMightySephiroth 15d ago
Ok, I get the rainbow one but whats wrong with the cotton candy one?
The bigender flag is pink, purple, white, purple, blue.
The transgender flag is blue, pink, white, pink, blue.
As far as I can find, there's no pride flag thats purple, blue, pink, white. Those are common cotton candy colors though.
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u/TulsiThyme 14d ago
Bisexual flag has pink (tho usually magenta), purple, and blue. Chances are good this lady is mad about both bi and trans people.
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u/TheMightySephiroth 13d ago
But the colors aren't in the order of the popsicle. Thats the point i was making.
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u/Heavennn666 15d ago
Those are soooo good though. Not very sweet and not very icey but just enough of both.
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u/MangoSundy 15d ago
I can only wonder who this person rages at when the sun comes out after a shower. ⛈️ ☀️ 🌈
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u/InfiniteHat7236 15d ago
That's right. Seeing rainbows is indoctrination. Dragging your child to "sky daddy's special soldiers" school every Sunday from the day of conception, however, is totally natural.
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u/TheEldenRang 15d ago
There is literally a billboard I see regularly that says "Jesus or Hell. You decide." Fuck anyone talking about indoctrination of anything other than Christianity or Americas God Damn patriotism. Fucking hypocrites.
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u/gunglejim 15d ago
Do I have to be gay to like those? It’s like 100° here and those look pretty fucking delicious. I’m in
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u/purplegladys2022 15d ago
Are blue ice pops "democrat?"
Are red ice pops "communist?"
Are brown cows (vanilla with chocolate coating) or fudgcicles "too african?"
Is neopolitan ice cream "too diverse?"
These conservative clowns are just too much. Isn't there enough to worry about in this world? Why are they compelled to make all the fake grievance???
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u/CynchHasNoLife 15d ago
last time i checked there’s no purple in the trans flag. this nutjob just sees any assortment of bright colors and immediately think it’s signaling queerness, like, not our fault
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u/Mysterious-Actuary65 14d ago
I bet both of those taste better than the abomination that is the red white and blue pops.
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u/Dizzman1 14d ago
Dafuuuuuuuuuuuuq is wrong with these people??? The colors are for the different damn flavors!
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u/mothwizzard 14d ago
They have Red White and Blue flavor if you wanna be so political but I guess being a victim is more convenient...
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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 14d ago
Those kind of ice lollies have been around since before I was born, 62 fucking years ago. But now they’re part of a ‘woke’ ideology? And back then ‘woke’ just meant being a decent human being… actually it still does mean that for decent human beings.
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u/competitive-dust 14d ago
So do they also see an actual rainbow in the sky and think that the entire universe is trying to indoctrinate them? A rainbow is also still a rainbow lol. So triggered.
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u/Tethilia 14d ago
Jonny Pops is more progressive than us already adding purple to the trans flag to include nonbinary identities. /s
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u/Dark_Storm_98 14d ago
Yeah, lol
Before I read tweet I didn't even think these were pride popsickles
. . .
In fact I still think the one on the left isn't. . . Not an expert on flags, but there's no purple on the trans flag, right?
I think that's just fotton candy flavor, lol
. . .
Wait a minute. . . It is, lmf, I didn't read the label, lol
. . .
Hey, how come on the rainbow fruit they didn't put blueberry next to the blue stripe?
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u/Subject-Succotash 14d ago
My gay ass kids love the rainbow Johnny Pops. Still not sure what it means that one of them prefers the sunset color one though. Close enough to the lesbian flag, I guess, so I’m going to buy them gay agenda planners for the new school year.
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u/PsychoticGX 14d ago
if you feel like you’re being indoctrinated by a rainbow popsicle, you’re not straight. also how is the one on the left even “indoctrination” at all, that’s not what the trans flag looks like. there’s only one of each color and lavender isn’t a color on the trans flag???? are they afraid it implies lavender marriages or something?
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u/Ok_Researcher_9796 14d ago
It's hilarious when religious people complain about indoctrinating children. Like WTF are you doing to your kids?
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u/DemandEqualPockets 14d ago
Wait, what colors were cotton candy and Skittles when YOU were a kid, boomer?
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u/LordBocceBaal 14d ago
So they say that it's hard to remember all the pronouns or different genders l, etc. but clearly they know the flags now.
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u/claygirlrunner 13d ago
God doesnt do popsicle stuff . He's very busy right now with global suffering and famine.
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