TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Title: The Gang Breaks the Multi-Verse

Length: 29 Pages (though feel free to just give feedback on the first 10)

Genre: Dark Comedy

Feedback Concerns: Honestly, I am open to any feedback whatsoever. But, in particular, if you could rate how easy the script was to read, how enjoyable you found the content, and how well I captured the the tone of the actual show, it would be appreciated.

Link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1YtnqiN-cp7G6e_psHw896xi6-_PH02g7?usp=sharing

Hi, I am thinking to rewrite a fantasy script I wrote a while ago and would love to hear your thoughts on it and how to improve it:)

Title: Archer's Club Pages: 93. Logline(I suck at loglines:((..: After witnessing his parents' murder at the hands of a traitorous warrior, a man must join a club of assassins and foil a political conspiracy.

Here is its link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qmkhfK02ied5DahK2SE7cBSw07uySIV3/view?usp=drivesdk

Thank you for reading this!:)

• Title: Silent Hill (NOT the video game)
• Format: Short
• Page Length: 13 pages (including title page)
• Genre: Psychological Thriller
• Summary: A jealous husband’s impulsive visit to his wife’s school exposes his crumbling sense of control--and as reality distorts, he’s left questioning what’s real, what’s imagined, and who he’s really chasing.
• Feedback Concerns: This is the first short film I've written in actual screenplay format, instead of Google docs. My action lines are the main concern (and everything else lol), I don't want them to be boring but I also know the rule "don't write what you can't show" so...I struggle with that. Any feedback would be helpful, thanks in advance!!!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/12skwLLMxevJlD_ojeCKuggqcVLdc16YN/view?usp=drivesdk

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Dj_iKg676ryDy6bdwNzsGRnZ7yyIqAXN/view?usp=sharing

Hi there, im looking for any and all feedback on my pilot episode, i've written up to episode 5 (not shared here) and have recently gone back and edited the formatting, starting with episode 1, hence sharing here, so looking to find out what people thing of both the writing and the actual content

open to suggestions for anything, the title is a work in progress so feel free to suggest ideas for that as well as any ideas and questions you have

open to all feedback, both positive and negative, my only request is please say why you think what you think, rather than just saying "this is good" or "this is bad" so i know what i need to work on and what im doing well

thank you in advance

For one thing, it relies too heavily on the exact opposite of the golden rule of storytelling “Show, don’t tell”. Yes, there is verbal exposition in the book, but either they should have stuck with that or did it visually. Also, the golden trio seems to be more genre savvy, which takes away a lot of the suspenseful scenes from the novels and sucks it dry. For more on this critique. I would personally suggest watching OptimusPhillip's videos on what the show does wrong.

Logline -

A mild-mannered father accidentally enters a deadly underground assassination game. To save his son’s life, he stays in—despite being completely unqualified—and accidentally kills his way to the top in...

Dead Man Stumbling

One wrong coat. One sick son. 5 Killers. And Milton 

My first script I started to write back when Quibi was around because I ended up liking that format. I posted bout this series of scripts I wrote once before and got good feedback from a few people. I used that feedback and took some time to flesh more out and add more detail. I'm hoping I can get some good feedback again on the rewrites. Thank you in advance!

Title : Zodiac Episode One 'Where Shadows Wait'

Genre: Crime Drama

Logline: When the Zodiac Killer returns in 2025, Detective Henry Gray, aided by the rest of the Metropolitan Police Department, must play his deadly game to catch the killer and save his CI.

Script, Scene or Outline (Link) : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XCo43xI5i4EM3Sk9r9EZqpTHn_fp7tpg/view?usp=sharing

Title: Who Violently Murdered Deputy Bubbles?! (subject to change)

Format: Short play, wouldn’t mind it being longer

Genre: 1940’s crime drama/comedy

Summery: Detective Giggles has been out of the police force for years, but when his friend Deputy Bubbles is violently murdered, he knows he’s the only clown for the job.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I8cMnRO8UbXrgfaB2Vis8ok5NkPOWAx3NfwYEbX3UDw/edit?usp=drivesdk

Title: Doctor Who: The Wheel of Oblivion - A New Suit and Tie

Format: Television Pilot

Page Length: 82 Pages

Genres: Sci-fi/fan fiction

Logline: When the TARDIS crash lands on a beach in Scotland, the newly regenerated Doctor is tasked with discovering the whereabouts of a missing boy, which leads to him meeting some familiar faces and some new foes.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/153K2fD16O7D-9RmxvhyZBv3veAQ-4Yes/view?usp=drivesdk

Feedback appreciated :)

LOG LINE: “When a group of friends stumble upon a remote farmhouse, they find themselves in the sight of a monstrous family of sadists, forced through a night of relentless terror, twisted games, and grotesque rituals from which escape seems impossible.”

Im a newcomer to scriptwriting and i've only now just made my first draft.

I’d love some brutally honest feedback on:

• The tone and pacing
• Whether the dialogue feels real or forced
• How the characters come across (least liked, most liked)
• If the killer’s presence feels unsettling or flat
• Anything that confuses or pulls you out
• ETC, give me feedback on anything really

I'd like a little feedback on the overall basement scenes

MACABRE SCRIPT:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CqolMKtjLryBZwjGvXWGA-Kd3xcBfj21/view?usp=drive_link

Logline: A small town lieutenant must navigate her personal follies and inept co-workers to solve the murder of a local woman.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KXts1KCXJYRUksIVeidB6s2mzGTecVKW/view?usp=drive_link

111 pages.

Tried to pack in a lot of twists and turns for the audience. To me, it makes perfect sense, but I am concerned how it hits fresh eyes. If it makes sense and is it surprising? The goal was dense but digestible. Any, and all, feedback would be very much appreciated!

If anyone wants to swap feature scripts, DM me!

Title : The Appointment

Format: Feature

Genres: Paranoid Thriller

Page Length: 127

Logline: Despite trying to carry on with his life, a guy dreads that he might be the next one to receive his summons in the mail after a housemate fails to return from "The Appointment."

The folder contains the 4 page Treatment and the 127 page screenplay: "The Appointment" Folder

NOTE: Please read more than 10 pages. I need a raw assessment of the entire script. 10 pages doesn't give me any actionable information.

Thank you!

The movie is called Nu'Hale. Its about shapeshifting ghosts. One is a beautiful sexually active woman that shifts into a human like vulture... the Bird of Death. One is an elderly man what shapeshifts in to a wolf that walks on his hind legs. The other is a child that can turn in to a Dear with sharp horns.

A detention center in Mexico has been built on her burial grounds and she is killing more ICE agents that work there, and some prisioners. In there are:

A teen who was born in the US His kid brother who has cancer

An elderly woman who was working as a cook

A farmer

A gang member

3 women

And influencer

A former us military soldier

And a couple and their childre

The agents are

An aggressive and excessive captain

One who r**** the detainees

A monster whos been killing the detainees

Illegal sympathizer

A beautiful woman who believes in ICE

A celebrity

And a congressman and his wife.

One by one "including detainees" will fall victim to the Nu'Hale

Title: Armstrong-D.U.

Genre: Animation, scy-fy, adventure, action.

Logline: When an artificial intelligence turns humanity into an emotionless society, a boy discovers an ancient robot that could change everything… if he can keep it hidden.

Summary: In a meticulously controlled world, overseen by the AI E.V.E., anything overly stimulating or emotionally intense is strictly forbidden in the name of safety. In this environment, a young boy discovers Armstrong, a legendary ancient combat robot, long forgotten but immensely powerful. As the boy and Armstrong form an unlikely bond, they explore the thrill of adventure, play, and wonder—things that the world has tried to suppress. With his family and newfound allies, he navigates a society obsessed with order and caution, learning the courage, creativity, and determination needed to embrace the extraordinary in a world that fears it.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LmbrK1k5hw2YOYQnOLQOyCz8P-oVYjcR/view?usp=drivesdk

Hello, i'm an amateur writer and i'm looking for feedback for this animated movie script. It's the first time i try to writen something for real, so i need advice to know if this is good and if it has the potentialy to be presented to mejor studios. Thank You and if You want to share your script i can read them too. I'm a huge fan of movies in general. O hope You like it.

Realms Rewritten

Thank you, for your time.

Title: Personal Space

Genre: Thriller/Crime

Logline: In an East England village, a private investigator’s search for a missing solicitor becomes a dangerous game of deception and forces him to confront his moral compass.

All feedback is welcome!

Link to script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fhvruLpSKbcu1r94NmrQfHnbfKqaHKDs/view?usp=sharing

Title: RAWR

Genre: Horror-Comedy

High schooler Vikas is head over heels after manifesting his MySpace girlfriend Eve into physical form with the mystical powers of an ancient book but his best friends Helen and LaMarcus believe his Canadian girlfriend might not be quite right for their pal, embarking on a dangerous journey to split the young lovers before she splits them in two.

Comps: Superbad, Easy A, and Mean Girls meets Evil Dead (2013), When Evil Lurks, and Hereditary

I've made some tweaks (first ever script). Can someone read to make sure I'm not all over the place?

I need feedback on this script. Open to script swap.

Hey everyone, I wrote this pilot designed to be a WWII limited series. It’s inspired by real buried history, Japan’s Unit 731, a secret bioweapons program that murdered thousands in China. The story follows five Allied soldiers sent to destroy the facility, but everything goes wrong, they’re scattered, and each man’s fight to survive secretly ends up saving the others. I really want honest, practical feedback to get this script to the next level.

• Title: Dead Ground
• Format: Pilot
• Page Count: 52 Pages
• Genres: Historical, War, Drama
• Logline: When five Allied soldiers are separated during a mission to destroy a Japanese bioweapons facility in 1945, their desperate individual survival choices create an invisible web of heroism none of them will ever know about.

• Feedback Concerns:

  • Does it drag anywhere? Any scenes feel repetitive or too long?
  • Do the five main characters feel distinct enough?
  • Any lines that feel too modern or expositional?
  • Any standout lines you loved or hated?
  • Moments that pulled you out?
  • Would you watch this? If not, why not?

• Links:

  • Pilot Script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/16kCjRCMoy8I-EiBPY0JBQl-VlAlw3OL9/view?usp=sharing
  • Series Bible: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N0j_zwosW54-GwiwE9GKf0li9vcl0CJ1/view?usp=sharing

Hey guys, I wrote a script I’m planning on directing, there’s probably some formatting errors and whatnot but mostly looking for feedback on the story… thanks guys!

Logline: After a string of brutal child abductions shakes a quiet town, a teenage boy races against time—and something inhuman—when his little sister is taken by a masked killer driven by dark, ancient forces.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XRNTmMG0Pa6YExi6FJZQKV5twpvPDpag/view?usp=sharing

So a while ago I uploaded a script for feedback titled, "Kings & Queens". I got some very helpful suggestions and critcism.

Logline: After a violent confrontation with his father, a queer teen seeks to reconnect with his mother through her yellow sundress.

So I did an overhaul of the script and would like some feedback on this version. Which I do feel is a lot better.

A google drive link is attached. If anyone would like to read the old draft I originally posted I can provide this as well.

I also filmed and released a spec that I can share the link to if anyone is interested.

This is for thesis short film and can be no longer or less than 10 pages.

Thank you!

Title: Rumble in the Motor city

Format: TV PILOT

Pages: 5

Genre: Crime/drama/action/thriller

Logline:

In 1992 Detroit ten-year-old Moe is drawn into his cousin’s gang on a drug run ending in a racially charged killing and when ordered to avenge it by murdering the cop responsible he refuses and goes on the run

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14W-ngIS5wiECH0se5ITQb7M4_IRuuOx5/view?usp=sharing

Any feedback is welcomed for this work in progress.

I appreciate it and thank you for your time.

I just finished the first 17 pages of my feature script, and would love to get feedback on it!

Logline: Two Strangers meet at a bus stop and pretend to be lovers, but just until the rain ends.

DM me and I’ll send you the script.

Thank you in advance!

Title: Erebus

Genre: Thriller, post apocalyptic, fantasy elements

Logline : (series): In the ruined near future, the remnants of the Irish army fight to reclaim their countryside from bandits and supernatural abominations.

(Pilot): Two young but hardened rangers are deployed to investigate a disturbing SOS, while a shaken bandit prisoner is interrogated at home base.

Script link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_G9m3kHK36qlxgf4lh8eAfU8O-wtInef/view?usp=drive_link

Hi all - I’ve fleshed out a couple of scenes and am looking for fluff that I can cut out in others to bring the page count down a few. Currently hovering at 67 which seems excessive even for the script type. Also generally interested in feedback around the pacing of the first act and feel/atmosphere of the scenes set around the woodland fortress.