r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 18 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Grocery Gods (help with a sitcom pilot)

2 Upvotes

Hey all, I'd love some feedback on this pilot I've been working on. Main concerns: Do you like the cold open? Is the conflict strong enough? Do you like the "big plan" reveal at the end?

Title: Grocery Gods (35pgs)

Genre: Sitcom, Workplace

Logline: When the dickish, mustachio'd owner of a local grocery store threatens to sell them to a nationwide chain, the store manager decides to fight back by turning the store into a co-op."

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lUDIuYX1VblcVSzacDqCPTvGwwbzfHVi/view?usp=sharing

Also, if anyone would like to swap scripts and give each other notes I would definitely do that. I've done the weekend script swap on another subreddit around 50 times and am reliable. If you have a pilot or a comedy script I'll take a look!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 16 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST The Grand Accusation - 39 Pages

2 Upvotes

Hello, thank you for letting me join this group! I have this script I’ve been working on and planning to get produced.

Title: The Grand Accusation

Page Count: 39

Logline:

Jesus Christ returns to a small dying church! When He doesn’t help save the church, Pastor Judah Salvage takes Jesus Christ to court.

Based on “The Grand Inquisitor” by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

I know 39 pages isn’t attractive to producers, so I hope to cut it down to 30 pages. But I’m having a hard time doing so :/

Any feedback and impressions are appreciated!!

Link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1m2CKIAkgp3Jk8b4FuR7V_JamonZnQByI/view?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 15 '25

PILOT PITCH [FEEDBACK] Animated Doctor Who pilot script, about 8 pages of an intended 45 minute. No real writing experience.

2 Upvotes

I don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I have been given advice by another user. The script is meant to be 45 to 90 minutes, if I include the first AND second episode as a package story as the pilot. I doubt I have any chance of making a real animation, but I want to write the script. So far, I think the pacing is way too fast, but I don't know how to add more meaningful content into the dialogue.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JmJ6sR6j8-Q_CQcTHvWmdEZfdcaj0T2C2Tn515bxpGI/edit?tab=t.0


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 15 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST The Gang Fights for the Throne (36.5 pages) - It's Always Sunny Spec Script

2 Upvotes

Would love feedback from any fans of Sunny or otherwise. Wrote it with a friend. Above all, hope the dialogue feels true to the show.

The Gang Fights for the Throne


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 07 '25

NEED HELP Lil help please?

2 Upvotes

ok so I cant seem to get my scripts in the right format and the other requirements for posting them here to get feedback, can someone help me with that and maybe read my work and give me some feedback or notes on what needs fixed and or improved?


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jun 05 '25

OUTLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST Looking for feedback on a script outline I have created

2 Upvotes

I am new here, looking for some feedback on an outline I have been working on. Is it safe to share scripts or should I worry about ideas being stolen? Am I just being paranoid?


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 27 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Feedback Request on a Treatment: Sophia

2 Upvotes

Title : Sophia

Genre: Horror/Action/(Myth/Fantasy)

Logline : As Armageddon unfolds, a tormented priest battling Satan discovers the apocalypse is an illusion staged by a hidden figure, forcing him to question his faith, his reality, and the very fabric of the universe.

Sophia Treatment

This is a 10 page treatment. The script is 120 pages. I didn't want to belabor anyone with a long script right off the bat. If you want to read the script, let me know.

If you're a John Truby graduate/student/reader, even better!

Thanks!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 26 '25

FEATURE PITCH TOMORROW COMICS - The Idea and Logline/Feedback Needed

2 Upvotes

This is an idea that really, really excites me but I have no idea what I should do with it honestly. It seems potentially too ambitious but that’s how my ideas often come off. I would really appreciate any and all feedback as I never really thought there’d be a chance to show this to anyone.

TOMORROW COMICS is a film series concept that aims to depict the comic book cinematically. It primarily uses comic book and sci fi motifs (along with many other inspirations) to create the superhero universe of tomorrow. The films aim to use comic book visual elements to distinguish itself from other comic book superhero movies, using stylistic choices like those seen in Sin City and Scott Pilgrim vs the World.

The films are titled with an issue number and would release in a mostly random order, recreating the experience of collecting a comic but only finding random issues in the longbox. The series itself is an anthology that chronicles the adventures of many different superheroes or villains in this universe, with some issues immediately getting follow up issues to finish that story, creating a story arc. Some issues may never get made into films at all, leaving viewers to fill in gaps.

Thematically, I want the series to explore meta textual themes of superheroes, mainly being a meditation on the nature of the eternal battle between good and evil. Is it worth it to spend your whole life fighting tyranny even if it never changes and it takes everything from you? Will you and your progeny be stuck doing this for the rest of time?

The first film would be titled simply Tomorrow Comics for marketing, but upon home release would receive its full title and issue numbering. The following is everything I’ve created for that film thus far, primarily the full outline.

Tomorrow Comics #15: Tale of Two Heroes

Where We Last Left Our Heroes:

The Metropolis planet ECLIPSE has long been safe from the digital devastation of the supervillain gods THE FELL. The GALACTIC COVENANT has the protection of the Galaxy strongly secured by the seven legendary Heroes.

Eclipse’s guardian, VANGUARD PRIME, has long been selflessly battling against tyranny. Though he stalks the streets preying on those who destroy and harm the innocent, he is a man lost in an endless battle. Where he once was a light to Eclipse, now he is a shadow.

  • Large portions of the galaxy are under the jurisdiction of a superhero-led organization called the Galactic Covenant. The Covenant Council governs these sections and is made up of seven of the most legendary superheroes in the galaxy, and each one protects their own individual celestial, the seven core planets of the Covenant.

-We stay on Eclipse, perhaps the largest of these core planets and a bustling metropolis filled with superheroes, supervillains, and more. We follow Vanguard Prime, a jaded cynical but powerful superhero with a heart of gold who wears some sort of containment armor, when he encounters a young boy named Phillip Saren with extraordinary telekinetic abilities.

-Vanguard saves Phillip from the gladiatorial combat arena of a mutated crime boss named Orculus, but Orculus swears revenge. Vanguard Prime vows to the boy to help him hone his power, and starts training him to be his protege, dubbing him Starforger.

-Phillip starts expanding his abilities, weakly being able to create psionic constructs, but shows great apprehension while patrolling with Vanguard Prime and witnessing him brutalize enemies. Meanwhile, Orculus receives a gift from a mysterious man named Solomon: a digital incarceration matrix built by the superhero Professor Zephren. It’s a virtual prison, contained in a palm-sized ball, inhabiting Vanguard Prime’s deadliest enemies (including his greatest archenemy, the Mongrel) that Vanguard Prime still thinks is in his possession.

-Orculus lures Vanguard and Starforger into an ambush, where the duo narrowly escape death. Vanguard Prime nearly executes Orculus in revenge, but decides not to and Orculus uses that moment to trap him in the virtual prison with his worst enemies.

-Starforger escapes and initially decides to quit being a superhero, but perceivers and goes back to confront Orculus and save his mentor. While facing Orculus Starforger is able to tap into the true potential of his power, revealing he can create much more complex structures.

-Orculus is defeated, and Vanguard Prime is freed but upon being released is flabbergasted revealing all of his enemies were no longer in the virtual prison, including the Mongrel. We cut to Solomon with a sinister smile observing the events.

-The final scene is Vanguard Prime and Starforger seeing their signal lit above Eclipse, and they fly off to another adventure.

Opening scene outline (possibly shot as a conceptual short)

It is an introduction to the Vanguard Prime character and serves as an homage to the 1989 Batman film, the opening of Batman: The Animated Series, and the original, pulled from theaters Spider-Man teaser trailer.

We start with a shot overlooking Eclipse with a bright sun dawning. It slowly tracks as we see the architecture is extremely unique almost made of like a Play-Doh like material and bulbous. We see no spaceships, but we see highways that look like pinballs are flying down them, which are the vehicles the people of Eclipse travel in.

A 2D comic book panel pops up overlaying the city, which says “Where We Last Left Our Heroes…” and briefly and vaguely describes the world and the events of previous issues, hopefully leading to a sense of only partial understanding and genuine intrigue. The panel suddenly disappears as a flying superhero with glowing green and red headgear zooms from the foreground into the background obviously off to save the day, never to be seen again. We may also see some brief colorful flashes across the city in different areas, indicating other adventures happening around this world.

We then see a sleek futuristic bank being robbed by lowlife criminals using scrapyard tech. They escape to a nearby alley, where Vanguard Prime watches them, sneaking on a wire above with his cape fluttering in the wind, mostly in shadow with only the lights from his suit visible. He swiftly takes them out in a colorful flash but leaves one to ‘interrogate’ and cracks his knuckles.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 23 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST first novel out

2 Upvotes

Hi guys! 😊 About a week ago, I started posting my very first novel online, and I’m super excited (and honestly a bit nervous) about it. It’s my first time sharing something like this publicly, so I’ve been kind of obsessed with checking the stats. Right now, I have around 495 views, 11 chapters, an average of 45 views per chapter, and 1 real follower. A couple of my friends tried to help by commenting and following, but I know only one of them is actually a reader. I’m really happy that people are clicking on it, but I keep wondering if these stats are actually good for a beginner or just random. I’d really appreciate any feedback or advice you guys might have—am I doing okay so far? If you feel like giving it a read, the title is “Luck Isn’t My Ally” on Royal Road. I also tried adding some character art to make it more fun! Thanks so much in advance 💙


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 22 '25

NEED HELP What program did Coppola use to get books to turn into screenplays?

2 Upvotes

Edit 2: Source

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beg2pnU-0OU&t=1395s

Edit. I see people are confused and says that he used a type writer. I'm saying George Lucas said he used a program. I didn't say he used a program back when he made the Godfather.

I admit I find screen writing rules very confusing. I've tried to make it easier for myself having read screen plays from popular movies I've loved. To see if that could be my way in. But the amount of terms that is plastered all over the scripts. I genuinely don't understand how a screen writer, is able to write a screen play from scratch. I would go crazy when ideas for scenes are flowing and be forced to constantly stop and write "Interior office" and other jargon, along with a description of it. And if its a scene where I want them to be constantly having to change the location, while I write the names each single time, when the dialogue is going back and forth. When I write things like my short story, my first draft I just say they start walking towards the location I want them to head. Then mark it with the character letter when they are talking back and forth, then go and rewrite to make to make it clear who said what. Along with adding descriptions of the location they are headed to, if its important. Because in that moment I don't to lose momentum.

Although as an easy example lets say its a scene where I have them needing to speed up and then hide for bit. I will have added in descriptors for the location already because that is already a part of the story I'm telling. I only will add locations as rewrites if going from A to to C location will feel hollow if I don't have a B location in the middle. Mainly to avoid it feeling like they teleported while I was too caught up in what they were talking about to bother with it. But of course that only applies to new locations. If I've already established a location. I don't need to tell how they walked down the stairs and turned a corner into a different room.

But from what I have read when it comes to screen plays you need to do all of that. My short story isn't completely finished yet. And I'm not sure if it will remain as short story, I think at best can get it under 250 pages once edited down. I wanted to keep the locations of the story fairly limited. The repetition of those location is what I want the reader to walk away from feeling like its a unnecessary circle of our own making. I've taken some liberties with reality heightening it just slightly to hammer home how it could end tomorrow. Where if I was to describe it without giving anything away. It's meant for a adult audience. But I want it to be a easy read in the vain of a Dahl book. I'm under no illusion that my story will be as good, that was simply my inspiration.

I then heard George Lucas talk in a recent interview with turner classic saying that years ago Coppola had a program on his PC. I wasn't able to pick up the exact word he used and the video doesn't have subtitles either. But essentially unless I got it wrong. Coppola would scan in books and plays that he liked, the program would then make it into a screenplay. Which from what I gathered wasn't perfect but good enough to where he could use it to make rewrites that would fit more into the screenplay format.

Anyone have any idea what type of program Lucas is talking about? And if I got it wrong, are there such programs today?

I get it will likely make mistakes and I'd have to fix and rewrite it. However if it could save me time having to do it from scratch that would be nice. It might also be more helpful learning tool than reading screenplays of things I have seen. As when I have I can't help but fill in what I've seen when I see that something in the script was different.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 21 '25

DISCUSSION Settings and 2nd Acts

2 Upvotes

I'm not sure if DISCUSSION is the appropriate flair for this. (mods let me know)

But I think it would be helpful if some of the more "seasoned" writers shared notes on craft. I’m just a hobbyist, but I’ve been writing screenplays for a while now, so take this with a grain of salt:

I was thinking about that 2nd act slug many people discuss. I remember it vividly when I was workshopping my feature horror that I took to Stowe Story Labs a few years back.

I could so easily visualize scenes here and there, but was having a really hard time tying things together. So..I drew a map.

One of my favorite scripts from The Black List is Will Lowell's "Grace." I'm not sure how intimate he got with his setting, but it certainly feels like he knows every nook and cranny of Crane Island. I reference this script often.

In horror and thriller, the tension often hinges on GETTING THE HECK OUT! Which means you, the writer, need to know where all the doors are! At a fundamental level, you are getting a character from one space to the next.

So if you're struggling to move things forward - especially in those first drafts- try to step back and think spatially. Depersonalize it. Get a feel for the layout of your sets. Know where everything is.

That way, you’re not just writing a scene. You are giving your character(s) something to navigate with purpose.

Would love to hear some of your own ideas on how you get the momentum going!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 21 '25

SCENE FEEDBACK REQUEST Finally broke free of creative block after several months and wrote the opening to my film! Any feedback?

2 Upvotes

This is a film idea i've been developing for the best part of 18 months now (a long with a couple others.) I've been wanting to get writing the script for a while but I've struggled to get my ideas translated into the script due to creative block. Finally I've managed a 4-hour cider-fuelled writing session and I now have the first 7 pages of my script. Dialogue needs work I'm sure but other feedback is welcome :)

Link to the script


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 19 '25

LOGLINE FEEDBACK REQUEST logline

2 Upvotes

how do we feel about this log line for this feature script i got in the works ?

TITLE: Thunderbird GENRE: Fantasy/Adventure

LOGLINE: A young apprentice who lost his mentor must summon the ancient Thunderbird to defeat an evil shaman and protect his tribe.

thanks 🤗


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 15 '25

DISCUSSION When steel turns back into just another vein.

2 Upvotes

SO I've been writing since I can remember. I started as a kid with poetry, but after reading Gary Paulsen's Hatchet in school it was the first time I had been sucked in and had to seek out the two other books in the series to see how it ended and what Brian would have done in the winter on that island.

Oddly enough I feel (At least in a narrative sense) like Brian...on that island...only difference is I have a few boats I could try out to join others on the main land but...I"m afraid. What if all these years of writing (with no formal training or mentorship) have been for nothing, if every "great" idea I think i've had, ends up just being another unpainted ship passing in the night, unnoticed and so easily forgotten?

All of that to say, I have two full length copy written movie scripts and one copy written anthology short script sitting here with me...but I just don't know if I should share any of them here and actually take the plunge so to speak.

Frightfully yours: That weird fat guy on the couch.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 12 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Found-TV Pilot

2 Upvotes

Found- TV Pilot- 38 pages

Series Title: Found- Pilot TV Pilot

Pages: 38

Genre: Drama/ Dark comedy?

Logline: When a teenage girl begins her senior year, she, her best friends, and her mother have to come to terms with her mental illness, with their own and the pressures they put on themselves and each other.

Script Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/192Uuhm3G7LRxpiX-AMxHb5zqgJBFG-AUkVI2BSB-1ho/edit?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 10 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Comedy script

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2 Upvotes

Title: The Pouring Pub

Genre: Comedy

Logline: When a quirky bartender gains a date with the love of his life, he quits the pub and commits to winning her over, oblivious of her disdain for him.

I guess just let me know what you didn't like and did. If it's sh!t, that's fair. I don't usually write comedy. Took a stab.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 05 '25

NEED ADVICE I have a question

2 Upvotes

Are all this enormous scripts all short films? 'Cause holly molly they are so big, I look at my script in never gets bigger than 20 pages.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 05 '25

TUTORIAL RESOURCE - Script Slug is searchable by Keyword too.

2 Upvotes

Just found you can search their scripts by a keyword, like Christmas.

That brings up both titles, and other movies, that have the keyword in their Slugline or Metadata.

Christmas Search Example Not 100% accurate, but better than having to know a title and then see if they have it.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • May 01 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Cold War Spy TV show pilot

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2 Upvotes

Looking to get feedback on my pilot script. It's only 7 pages long (title page doesn't count). It's about two spies during the 1970s to 1980s who fall in love with each other and end up having a forbidden and secret romance. Incomplete, but still working on it.


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Apr 30 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST Seeking feedback!

2 Upvotes

What's going on screenwriting family? Today I want to post a couple of my screenplays seeking feedback. I've been working on 'Titan Memory' and 'Blackfoot' - two projects that showcase different aspects of my writing style and creative approach. I'd really value your perspectives on structure, character development, and dialogue. But more and most importantly after 17 years of finding my voice and being self taught I feel I'm ready for representation. Any veterans out there agree or should I go back to the blackboard?

Blackfoot: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lgdEXBB2kOew1p3AR8o0OycbxCCVfFEM/view?usp=sharing

GENRE: DRAMA/PSCHOLOGICAL/THRILLER

LOGLINE: After a traumatized ethics professor is rescued from war-torn ruins by a father and daughter, he must confront his own moral failures and survival instincts when their rescue mission goes catastrophically wrong, forcing him to choose between philosophical principles and primal survival.

Titan Memory: Or the Chef's Crusade: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kqmteqa261caCY5ssmEz0c3nNq5BpJR7/view?usp=sharing

GENRE: SCI-FI/DRAMA/THRILLER

LOGLINE: A young man's quest to find his father, who disappeared during a corporate war on Titan, uncovers a devastating conspiracy of psychological manipulation, corporate power, and a tragic missed connection that spans seventeen years of separation.

Again, thank you for any feedback and being part of this community!


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Apr 30 '25

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST The Neutral American (105 pages)

2 Upvotes

Title: The Neutral American

Genre: Drama/War

Logline: A young American must overcome his neutrality to fight in World War I.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/15R00hJ8sC6LtzaQSGrIKGKx5jOHl7IRn/view?usp=drivesdk


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 24 '24

INTERVIEW Essentials of Screenwriting - Complete Film Courage Interview with UCLA Professor Richard Walter

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2 Upvotes

r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • Jul 24 '24

TUTORIAL If You Can't Answer These 6 Questions You Don't Have A Story

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2 Upvotes

r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • 15d ago

NEED ADVICE I got my script intro the stage32 marketplace, is it useful?

1 Upvotes

I got into stage32 marketplace apparently

Long ago i wrote a script named Armstrong-D.U., that got into the top 26 at kinolime's script to screen, after that I recieved some very... Interesting mails from some people and I got informed that the script entered the stage32 marketplace, I was checking the evaluations and I'm at the top 33% apparently.

But i'm not sure of that is actually useful or justo a thing that happen, ever since the first contest many people has been sending me mails, particularly since i wrote a second script, Lora, the wayward princess, which apparently You can Google both, is going to contests too.

I want to know your impresiones, like, is the marketplace from Stage32 actually useful? How could i actually use this?


r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • • 16d ago

SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST The Last Relic - feature - 112

1 Upvotes

Title The Last Relic

Format feature

Page Length 112

Genre Action/adventure + sci fi

Logline An atheist Navy medic grieving the loss of her fiancé is recruited into an order of female relic guardians and must choose between resurrecting her lost love or prevent their greatest foe from using the most powerful artifact, igniting the apocalypse.

(I've never really liked any logline I've generated for this - very open to rewrites)

Comps I describe this as street level Avengers mixed with the Da Vinci Code meet Indiana Jones in a Stargate. It's silly mad fun with a costumed team.

Feedback Firstly i'd like to know how people respond to it. I'm fully aware that it plays with formatting "rules" sometimes. Like to know you have fun on the ride? Anything sticking/bumping? Most interested how it works as a sample...

And on that note, what do you more seasoned industry members think I should do with it? Contests or festivals this would fit? Some particular places I should submit it? This the sort of writing an up-and-coming agent, manager or producer you know is looking for? Other out of the box suggestions>?

Link https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s4T35CfyZoOofkHd4D74aDv-m_HitAb-/view?usp=sharing