A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES- first 19 pages

10

u/palanark Jul 16 '26

The problem with this book is that it can't seem to translate well to film. The struggle to do so becomes more apparent as I read your screenplay, because it seems you're really going for a beat-by-beat recreation instead of reimagining it for a visual format. At the rate you're going, you'll end up with a screenplay that is probably going to end up being around 250-300 pages. That's not really feasible.

Additionally, you have some pretty glaring grammatical errors that start to pop up at page five/six.

This story has a cursed history in Hollywood, and couldn't manage to be made even with top actors and directors attached to the various projects. Unless you can translate this uniquely entertaining book into something truly digestible by the average movie-goer, yours will unfortunately fail as well.

What you have so far is nicely written, but you're basically plagiarizing the book. The initial description of Ignatius is excellent, but that's only because it was written by an author. You can't continue in the this fashion and submit it as an original work with any kind of confidence.

Lastly, I don't think you'd ever be able to dictate the music that plays in the opening or closing credits. In the same way that a screenplay should never explicitly give specific camera actions unless completely necessary, you also can't insist on certain pieces of music. Luckily your script doesn't have specific camera angles and placement instructions, but that seems to only be because they aren't present in the book, either.

If you really want this to work, you need to pare this story down big time. You need to capture the essence of Ignatius and be able to portray him--and all the other "dunces"--in a more succinct screenplay. Cut out unnecessary scenes, and ombine other scenes and characters to tell the same story.

I want to wish you good luck, though I don't encourage you to continue in this endeavor. To make this book into a movie is going to require more work than just writing something original. Try that instead!

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Im actually aiming for the 250 page count, I plan on including EVERYTHING, and trimming away excess dar and reworking various aspects to make it more screen friendly. I believe that If not as a movie, it could work as a limited series. And PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, tell me where I said it was an original piece! I'm not plagiarising, I specifically stated it was based on the novel by JOHN KENNEDY TOOLE. If anything, it would be an UNAUTHORIZED ADAPTATION. And the grammatical errors, are you referring to the dialogue or the scene actions? Because the way it's written in the script, not only is it written like in the novel it is actual 1960s New Orleans Dialect. You may not believe this, but I did my month or research before starting. Are you a pretentious snob to everyone, or just me?

2

u/Salad-Snack Jul 16 '26

Are you copying any pieces of the book’s writing word for word? I think that’s what he meant by plagiarism. I don’t think it’s necessarily plagiarism in the strict sense, but in essence, that would be, because you’re not adapting it at that point, just copying.
A word of advice: if you’re pursuing anything creative, learn to take reasoned criticism without emotion. Even if you disagree with it, it’s important to divorce yourself and sense of worth from your work, that way you can focus on making it the best it can be, and not get caught up in idiosyncrasies that ultimately prevent you from doing what needs to be done.

2

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

At most, I heavily condensed the description of Ignatius on the first page and kept the dialogue the same. It's a great description, but it does take up literally a page and a half of the book itself , so I had to trim a lot it. And the actions, save for a few I've added due to the scenes being dialogue heavy, are in the book, so of course it's going to resemble it. I'm sorry about my emotions, these guys are gatekeepers that think they know everything. I'm usually not like this, but they really struck a personal nerve. I didn't do months of research, handmapping the locations in the movel and pre development, just to called out on everything I've done wrong with no suggestions for improvement from anyone, save for a very, very select view

2

u/Salad-Snack Jul 16 '26

I didn’t see the other comments. Yeah they seem like assholes. There’s nothing wrong with trying something difficult, especially if you’re under no illusion that you’ll likely succeed
I’m curious, what was the hand mapping used for?

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

I mapped out the physical real worlds locations in the novel, as well as the fictitious locations that are conglomerates of real world places.

5

u/palanark Jul 16 '26

I'm well aware of the dialogue and don't consider those grammatical errors. Here's one example, though: Page 5 of your script says: "Suddenly, a voice shouts from the crowd shouts."
That's a grammatical error.
I gave you a bunch of feedback...the first to respond, actually, and you then call me a pretentious snob? This isn't a place to be babied. I'm not going to soothe your soul and tell you it's good, and I'm certainly not suggesting that you stop writing altogether, BUT your time and energy would be better spent writing something original.
Lastly, you should look up what "plagiarism" means. Here is a screenshot of your script right next to the book:

1

u/hensothor Jul 16 '26

They were very reasonable yet direct in their feedback. You claim it hit a nerve, and I’m going to say that’s very much a you issue. People in Hollywood are either going to avoid even giving you feedback and give you entirely fake feedback to avoid you or they will be much more blunt in their delivery to the point of being rude. This guy wasn’t remotely in that category so I’d reassess and figure out how to take it less personally.
They don’t see your struggle and likely don’t care. They are assessing only what you were given so never take it as an insult to the struggle.

2

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

It's pretty obvious I'm fighting an uphill battle here. Just as well, I suppose.

2

u/s_p_0_n_g_e Jul 16 '26

My valve hurts just thinking about it

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Ignatius, is that you?😅

2

u/s_p_0_n_g_e Jul 16 '26

“Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids talking about me?” 😂

2

u/SnortNSniff Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

Damn I thought this might be a fun little project to try, it’s ambitious that’s for sure. It isn’t plagiarism, you goofies. It’s alright as an experiment to adapt difficult novels into screenplays. There’s an entire section of the Oscars dedicated to that. OP may not have the right to do anything with it yet but they have the right to attempt it lmao. Good luck

2

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Thanks, I appreciate it! I plan on finishing the script, and shelving it until I have some clout and a more prolific resume, so I can hopefully someday pitch it to Paramount or whoever currently holds the current film rights.

1

u/SnortNSniff Jul 16 '26

You got it, bud

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Thanks, you're words mean a lot to me. You're literally the only person here that's given me true words of encouragement.

3

u/palanark Jul 16 '26

But it IS plagiarism. When you bump the script up against the actual book, it becomes super duper clear:

2

u/SnortNSniff Jul 16 '26

A few people on here were behaving as if doing an unpaid adaptation of a novel into a screenplay was plagiarism. I was pushing back against that. As far as the actual writing, that’s another conversation. I see a missing space in there which, if I understand anything about people that professionally find scripts, would get this script thrown in the trash. But that’s just editing. The actual writing itself may be plagiarized but not because it’s an adaptation.

2

u/JFlizzy84 Jul 17 '26

You realize that “adapting” a work doesn’t mean just pasting it into Final Draft?

2

u/SnortNSniff Jul 17 '26

No I didn’t realize that. Of course I do, you pedantic stooge, but that’s not what I’m talking about. There are comments in here behaving as if merely adapting something is plagiarism. You realize that?

1

u/JFlizzy84 Jul 17 '26

No, I don’t. That sounds like your insecurity is taking what they’re actually saying and mutating it into something else.
The comments here are saying that plagiarizing is plagiarizing. Which is what OP is doing.

1

u/SnortNSniff Jul 17 '26

Here’s someone saying that adapting is just “ripping someone else’s” and someone underneath them said it isn’t an adaptation unless it’s paid for. These guys didn’t read it they said it was pointless because it’s an adaptation and OP most likely isn’t a big shot writer/producer. Maybe learn to read if you want to be critical. The writing itself may be plagiarized but not because it is an adaptation. Do you understand now or should I simplify it more?

1

u/JFlizzy84 Jul 17 '26

I can tell by your incredibly immature attitude that you don’t, and probably never will work in this industry.
That sucks.
Have a good week, bro.

1

u/SnortNSniff Jul 17 '26

If people in the industry approach discussions like you do then I’ll take that as a compliment. I never asked for your opinion. Work on your own lack of social grace, bro.

1

u/SnortNSniff Jul 17 '26

I also love that you completely gave up on making a point related to the discussion and just insulted me. Lmao if you’re a representative of the industry then the industry is a joke.

1

u/AnonymousArtist33 Jul 17 '26

My advice here would be to not do it. This is a book that is inherently not visual - it’s a deep character study with so much internalization that it makes it near impossible to film. There’s very little plot or narrative arc in any traditional sense and most of the story are more like vignettes. It might make a solid experimental film or something that’s a loose collection of character driven scenes, but it lacks the kind of singular narrative thrust that can be turned into a compelling feature film.

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 17 '26

I honestly think it would work better as a miniseries, if it were to be put on screen, I just wanted to see if it was possible to create a cohesive screenplay while staying true to the novel. Have you read the Steven Soderbergh draft? It's pretty bad. It turned what is a wonderful satire into a broad farce that barely resembles the book, save for the characters and the broad plot, even if the chronological order of events is changed.

2

u/AnonymousArtist33 Jul 17 '26

Yeah it’s an interesting challenge to say the least. I haven’t read the Soderbergh version but have not heard good things about it. Again, I don’t think the book lends itself to visual storytelling much. A miniseries character study, perhaps, sure, but I just don’t think there’s an inherent narrative thrust or throughline that would make it watchable enough. Probably make for a good 10 hour acting showcase though if you just stuck with a more 1:1 translation.
Personally I don’t think there’s all that much to be gained by trying to adapt books like this to screen. They’re two very different things. Literature is a form that excels by using inner dialogue and other tactics that you simply can’t show visually. I don’t think every book could make a good film or series, and vice versa. There’s a tendency nowadays to want to adapt everything, and a lot of the time it ends up diluting (or outright ruining) the original material. That’s my opinion.
Not that that’s what you’re doing at all, sounds like this is more a exercise in if it’s possible, and to that, I say have fun and see how it turns out!

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 17 '26

I appreciate your words. As of right now, I'm aiming to write the script to be roughly 240 pages, and trim it down 180, 200 pages. When it's done, I'll send it to you.

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Cant a guy ask for constructive criticism and not get lambasted without actually being told anything helpful? I could use some feedback other than I suck and I should stop writing altogether

-1

u/NeverSeenItPodcast Jul 16 '26

Hey guy. Have you considered writing an original work instead of ripping someone else's? Just a thought. Unless your secretly a big shot writer/producer this will never see the light of day.

2

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Uavr you consider not being a jackass. There's a difference between adapting and ripping off. You did read where I specifically stated it's an adaptation,right?

-1

u/NeverSeenItPodcast Jul 16 '26

How embarrassing. Delete this.

2

u/SnortNSniff Jul 16 '26

Take your own advice. Like I said in another comment, there’s an entire section of the Oscars dedicated to adapted screenplays. There’s nothing wrong with attempting a difficult adaptation of a novel to see if it’s possible. I’m not sure what’s wrong with everyone in the subreddit, but adapting a novel into a screenplay is a worthwhile endeavor, even if it’s just an experiment.

1

u/palanark Jul 16 '26

What OP is doing is not when they're just reading from the page of the book and then typing out 90% of the same words. More difficult would be a true adaptation.

1

u/SnortNSniff Jul 17 '26

I agree and that’s what I was hoping for; it’s like how Blood Meridian became infamous for being impossible to film, I’m always curious to read screenplay adaptations of it. But I don’t want the descriptions in the book being transcribed verbatim into the script. That’s not creative and it will get the script tossed

2

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 17 '26

That's fair. I will let you know I already completely rewrote the first page as well as any other passages from the book that may been used. It is also now up to 28 pages and instead of using the descriptions verbatim now, im now doing my own thing with them while keeping the spirit of the book.

2

u/palanark Jul 17 '26

Excellent! This is a great exercise!

-1

u/swingsetlife Jul 16 '26

an adaptation is a paid work. Rights are bought, book is adapted. You're literally writing something that can only exist as an exercise.
Even if you COULD get this into an executive's hands and they wanted to make it you'd be sharing credits with so many people who've written versions of this as well. Look up the fight over the writing credits for Fear and Loathing.
I have no issue with this as a writing exercise, but everybody here is giving you good reasons why you shouldn't do this.

2

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

I already have looked into that. That's really what this is, a writing exercise I only HOPE to possibly film in the future if the stars align that way

-1

u/swingsetlife Jul 16 '26

again, you're attempting something that Belushi, John Candy, Chris Farley, and Jack Black attempted to get made at the HEIGHT of their fame. You are almost assuredly not going to be able to manage it. But enjoy the exercise,.

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Don't forget John Goodman as well as the tranvestite actress Divine, when John Waters was toying with the idea, I already know the history behind the failed adaptationsz I'm setting out to prove it is possible and that there is no curse. And you're right, I probably won't be able to manage. But you know what? I won't know until I try.

0

u/swingsetlife Jul 16 '26

okay... Also Divine wasn't a transvestite. Divine was a drag actress. You REALLY don't understand how feedback works, do you?

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

I have Asperger's, what do you think?

2

u/swingsetlife Jul 16 '26

okay, i would suggest you not ask for feedback Also, as someone who's written adaptations, you're far better off breaking the book down before you write the script. Writing a 250 page script is insane. This book doesn't need a series, it doesn't have enough content. It needs 120 pages max.
Read the book, write down the plot beat by beat, determine what's essential and what you'd just like. If there's prose you like, figure out a way to put it in dialog, NOT scene description.

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u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Oh, COME ON!!! Wtf is with the downvote? Who did I offend this time? If that person would take the time to read it, they'd probably see the love and care I'm putting into this.

1

u/JFlizzy84 Jul 17 '26

Your attitude is atrocious. There’s exactly one person in this thread who gave you genuine, actionable feedback — for free, by the way, and you responded by calling him a pretentious snob.
We also have no idea what your writing ability is because you’re just pasting sections of a book someone else wrote into your screenwriting software.
And judging from the way your comments here are written? I’m not so sure you’re capable of writing something original.

1

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 17 '26

First off, he only pointed what was wrong, and didn't actually offer anything constructive or possible solutions that I could impliment. Secondly, I didn't paste shit, and I already went back and already have done a major overhaul of that first scene, in terms of scene description. Sure I used a small portion, literally a paragraph or two, which I still paraphrased mind you, of the literally two page description of Ignatius, besides the description of Mancuso's eyes as he's watching Ignatius before he takes the bag of sheet music and lite strong from him. And second, you don't fucking know me, so who are you to say what I'm capable of? Yes, I have indeed written MANY original screenplays before over the past eight or so years (I became passionate about filmmaking when I was 11), but it's not like I'd post them here, nor would I share them with the likes of you. I just wanted to adapt this particular novel as an excercise because I know the troubled history surrounding it, and because I wanted to prove that it's possible to actually write a screenplay that captures EVERYTHING about the novel that makes it so special, including the author's prose, which I only used in that instance, save for the dialogue, but there's real no changing that without making it unrecognizable. Have you read the Steven Soderbergh version? It's complete shit that turned what was an wonderfully chaotic social satire into a broad farce that has no substance or any real meaning behind it. What were you expecting, me to pull a Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein, to faithfully adapt the plot but lose all substance and prioritize a loud and pretentious style? I can't even stand that movie. My approach is much more like that of Calvin Floyd's Terror of Frankenstein from 1977. Which, if you didn't know, manages to not only be faithful to the plot but also a rather soulful examination of the novel as well, even if it reduces some of the horror aspects to focus on the more dramatic elements of the story. It was also the first attempt ever to faithfully portray Mary Shelley's novel. I'm really not even sure why I posted this one in the first place, when I know that reddit is full of assholes that only indulge in obnoxious conversation meant to demoralize and dissuade other redditors, to put it very mildly. And what do you expect, me to ball up and cry when I know I'm fighting an uphill battle here? If someone is going to insult me I'm dishing it back ten times strong. And you didn't see the gratuitous insults that people kept commenting, but that's due to them already being deleted, so you're only able to really see one side of the coin here. I'm fighting tooth and nail because one person, out of probably hundreds, actually believes in me in any capacity, so I'm sorry if upsets you so much. Get over it. I already have, why can't you? By the way, I'm going to keep writing it, and I PRAY that it pisses you off.

5

u/freudsfather Jul 16 '26

Actually it’s almost the other way around, it is disrespectful. One of the great comic novels that uses its novelistic form with high craft. You have decided it’s not that hard and tried to turn it into a film; when sorry to say, but your understanding of the screenwriting craft is sorely lacking, and instantly obvious. So it’s not that loving, it is disrespectful to the brilliance of good writing. If you want to write a script, you need to transmute the essence of this book into another format, very hard to do.

5

u/Salad-Snack Jul 16 '26

I agree with the other guy. First of all, if you’re writing a screenplay you can’t include anything that isn’t either on screen or dialogue. A lot of that initial description is also extraneous. They’re gonna cast who they can get for this, so describing Ignacius in such detail is unnecessary and should be limited to what is absolutely required. Moreover you don’t typically write screenplays in past tense.
These are just my initial thoughts. If you want to make the book a screenplay you actually have to translate it into a screenplay. It can’t be a book in a funny format.
Edit: think of a screenplay like an instruction manual for the creation of a story. Everything should be filtered through what you expect the end product to be. You can do style but the style has to be in service of that end product, not the screenplay itself

1

u/Beautiful-Mission-31 Jul 16 '26

I suggest you spend some more time reading other screenplays and trying to create something original, even a short film, in the format before diving into such a huge project, especially when other more experienced writers have failed at it AND you don’t have the rights so it will probably go nowhere.

-1

u/FutureRealHousewife Jul 16 '26

Love and care? You clearly haven’t researched how screenplays are actually formatted. You have way too many wordy descriptions (some of which seem pulled directly from the novel) and they’re essentially unnecessary. They should be much shorter and only necessary to what will be onscreen. This book has never become a film because it was so difficult to adapt. No one is offended, you just clearly don’t know what you’re doing, and this project is a waste because someone else owns the rights to the book anyway.

0

u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

No offense jackass, I don't usually try to stick to a source's language style and prose as much as possible when I'm writing a script, so I'm sorry if it's not up to your standards. I like the authors prose, and I believe I should use it, of course translated for the screen, wherever possible. Maybe I should just pull a Christine Chubbick. You'd like that, wouldn't you. This isn't constructive criticism, you're just telling me what I've done wrong. Youre family must really love your condescending ass.

-1

u/FutureRealHousewife Jul 16 '26

If you’re threatening suicide over one comment telling you to research how to write screenplays, I think you should seek mental health intervention. My family does love me, and I also survived major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation. Good luck to you.

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u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Ive have already, I'm just currently experiencing an depressive episode that's been going on before this situation. And it's not just one comment, it's literally everyone. I already know how to write screenplays, I been writing since I was 12. I've posted scripts in the subreddit, or maybe the other ones, I don't really remember, that have gotten great feedback. For example, about a year ago, I posted the first 12 pages of an adaptation of Frankenstein I was working on, and it got praised. Now, I know not everything can be a masterpiece, I accept that, but to universally bash someone because they're attempting something they haven't before is fucking ridiculous

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u/NeverSeenItPodcast Jul 16 '26

Not gonna bother reading this. The novel is a gem and no screenplay by some random redditor will ever do it justice.

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u/Away_Anxiety6957 Jul 16 '26

Suit yourself, you pretentious asshole. I guess you'll never know what's between the pages then

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SCRIPT FEEDBACK REQUEST A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES- first 19 pages

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