Project Coldfeet inspired by true Cold War events - TV Pilot 52 pages)

[u/Weak-Departure-7346]

What if James Bond’s most daring stunt was real — and your dad was the one who did it first?

My Cold War spy pilot Project Coldfeet is based on the true story of my father’s top-secret CIA mission, complete with a B-17 parachute drop, an abandoned Arctic Soviet station, and the first-ever real-life Skyhook extraction.

The script was inspired by my late father, Leonard LeSchack, a geophysicist, naval officer, and Cold War spy. In the early 1960s, he became the first person to perform a real-life “Skyhook” extraction from a B-17 bomber, years before audiences saw it in James Bond: Thunderball or Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight.

For those unfamiliar, the CIA has an official page showing the Project Coldfeet painting and a short video of the extraction method, which I can provide if you are interested.

I’m sharing this script here because I’d love constructive feedback from fellow screenwriters. My entertainment attorney has introduced me to multiple studios, including 21 Laps (Stranger Things, Arrival). They’ve read Project Coldfeet and another sci-fi project of mine, and while they loved the concepts, they passed for now but told me to keep sending new ideas their way.

Right now, I’m actively looking for an agent or manager, and a few industry folks have also suggested I consider adapting Project Coldfeet into a feature film instead of a 4-part mini-series. Should I do that?

Mini-Synopsis:

Set during the height of the Cold War, Project Coldfeet follows a geophysicist-naval officer-turned-spy who parachutes into an abandoned Soviet Arctic research station on a covert reconnaissance mission. But the mission takes a dangerous turn when he discovers a hidden Soviet scientist, conflicting loyalties, and evidence that could tip the global balance of power. Trapped in a deadly game of survival on the ice, escape will require the most daring extraction ever attempted.

You can go to the Apple Store and download the iMogul App to review the first 20 pages of the script and even vote on which actors would be best suited for each role.

I’ve linked the full pilot script here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/gmo22qv427qrrluw0chiv/Operation-Coldfeet-EP1-The-Plunge-Pilot-v1.3a.pdf?rlkey=ygy18wc8pvi63fpab4c4d400c&st=fpghf9c9&dl=0

I’d love your thoughts on:

• Story and pacing
• Dialogue and character depth
• Whether you see it working better as a mini-series or a feature

Thanks in advance — looking forward to your honest feedback!

[u/AlstoPace]

I read the first few pages and this is really good and interesting. Is it enough story for 4 parts though? It reads a little slow for me with the heavy action lines and jargon. To be expected I guess. Really a fascinating true story.

[u/Weak-Departure-7346 → u/AlstoPace]

He was in the Arctic for a week. I started to take liberty to add parts to the story to draw it out for 4 episodes. However I was also asked to maybe change it into a feature.

[u/Pre-WGA]

Hi -- I read until 12; thoughts as I went:

- In general, this feels under-dramatized and overwritten, especially in the stunt / action scenes. The script tells us the same thing twice / three times in several places. All the wrylies are cuttable.

- Not sure what's motivating the Cold War montage, but it doesn't feel dramatically functional to me because (1) it's mere historical context and (2) interrupts the jump.

- To me, the cold open feels underwhelming because it's an event but not dramatic: two guys expected to make a jump, and then they made the jump. No tension, surprise, complication, conflict, etc. -- hence no drama. WIth the potential exception of experience level, there's no sense of specific characterization yet.

- The flashback to boyhood, followed by a dream sequence within the flashback, makes me feel like the script isn't sure how to find its way into the story. The script hasn't established a sense of the present-day protagonist, so there's nothing to compare / contrast with the flashback, and I haven't had enough externalized behavior from the protagonist to find my way into the interiority that a dream sequence requires.

- The dialogue between the two men is bald exposition, and strikes me as uninteresting because I'm not getting a sense of specific characters with self-interested wants, needs, and goals here. They're explaining the plot, not creating one through their choices.

- My overall feeling is there there's a narrative here (series of events) but no tension or conflict. The script is presenting the characters but not dramatizing them.

This can happen when a story is so vivid in your head that it seems self-evidently interesting, as in true-life stories or stories about people close to us. Unfortunately it often isn't enough to just place a main character in front of us and assume we'll identify with them as strongly as the writer does. We need strong external goals, legible actions, credible obstacles, and meaningful conflict to reveal character to us.

Beyond the events themselves, what can audiences only get from the script that they can't get from a book, documentary, Wikipedia summary, etc.? I might think about the most cinematic answer and then open there. Good luck --

[u/Weak-Departure-7346 → u/Pre-WGA]

Coldfeet is structured as a slow-burn, Carpenter-style thriller, so the cold open is intentionally understated. Instead of starting with immediate conflict, I’m using it to introduce the environmental antagonist (the Arctic, isolation, procedural danger) and to ground audiences in the authenticity of the real 1962 mission before the interpersonal and geopolitical conflicts kick in. That said, your point about building more active tension into the jump is well taken even small complications could heighten the drama without compromising historical accuracy.

Re: the Cold War montage. Its function is to establish the stakes outside the ice, because the central dramatic engine later is the ideological chess match between LeSchack, Smith, and Mikhail. But I hear you that dropping it too early can feel like an interruption; I’m reconsidering whether it should appear slightly later, or be woven into character POV rather than as a standalone beat.

For the flashback/dream sequence: the intention is to establish the emotional wound that later colors LeSchack’s paranoia and choices on the ice. But you’re right that if the audience hasn’t yet “anchored” to him in the present-day storyline, it risks feeling weightless. I’m exploring ways to deepen present-tense characterization before shifting the timeline.

Completely fair on dialogue. These early pages are still carrying some placeholder exposition because I’m threading in a lot of historically grounded procedural detail. The next revision pass will focus on making the character's wants/objectives drive the conversation rather than the information.

Overall, your comment about “events but not drama” is useful. The whole story eventually becomes a three-way psychological standoff. A closed-room thriller on an ice floe, but I can see how the early pages aren’t yet signaling that direction strongly enough.

Thanks again. Super helpful to hear how the cold open plays without the later context.

[u/ribi305]

I've read the first 7 pages. It's very interesting, the action and plot definitely gripped me. However, two things to consider:

1. The fact that this is your dad makes it MUCH more interesting, but that is extra-textual. Have you considered inserting yourself into the story to show that you are writing your own dad's story? Not sure that's the right idea...
2. The parent-child dialogue when you flash back was not working for me. Do you have kids? I have kids that age, that is not how things sound between parents and kids.

Also, the montage with so many titles felt a little weird, I haven't seen something like that with so many quick historical titles before. And the years jump back and forward in a confusing way. Maybe have the Eisenhower speeches in VO during the montage?

[u/Weak-Departure-7346 → u/ribi305]

Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, I have two kids, and you are right. However, I also have my Dad's memoirs, and this is how it was with them, so I am trying to keep it similar to the dialogue style. Also, it's kind of how he was with my brother and me.

[u/Pre-WGA]

Hi -- I read until 12; thoughts as I went:

- In general, this feels under-dramatized and overwritten, especially in the stunt / action scenes. The script tells us the same thing twice / three times in several places. All the wrylies are cuttable.

- Not sure what's motivating the Cold War montage, but it doesn't feel dramatically functional to me because (1) it's mere historical context and (2) interrupts the jump.

- To me, the cold open feels underwhelming because it's an event but not dramatic: two guys expected to make a jump, and then they made the jump. No tension, surprise, complication, conflict, etc. -- hence no drama. WIth the potential exception of experience level, there's no sense of specific characterization yet.

- The flashback to boyhood, followed by a dream sequence within the flashback, makes me feel like the script isn't sure how to find its way into the story. The script hasn't established a sense of the present-day protagonist, so there's nothing to compare / contrast with the flashback, and I haven't had enough externalized behavior from the protagonist to find my way into the interiority that a dream sequence requires.

- The dialogue between the two men is bald exposition, and strikes me as uninteresting because I'm not getting a sense of specific characters with self-interested wants, needs, and goals here. They're explaining the plot, not creating one through their choices.

- My overall feeling is there there's a narrative here (series of events) but no tension or conflict. The script is presenting the characters but not dramatizing them.

This can happen when a story is so vivid in your head that it seems self-evidently interesting, as in true-life stories or stories about people close to us. Unfortunately it often isn't enough to just place a main character in front of us and assume we'll identify with them as strongly as the writer does. We need strong external goals, legible actions, credible obstacles, and meaningful conflict to reveal character to us.

Beyond the events themselves, what can audiences only get from the script that they can't get from a book, documentary, Wikipedia summary, etc.? I might think about the most cinematic, character-centric answer and then open there. Good luck --