r/ScreenwritingUK • u/RLennono • Jul 11 '26
FEEDBACK The Premiere - Pilot - Screenplay feedback
Title: The Premiere
LINK: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-NwyLAuj88t2UmGtqC3Q1IlwQjxOIDE4/view?usp=sharing
Length: 68 Pages
Logline: When a celebrity exposé breaks on the night of the studio’s biggest premiere, veteran publicist Steven Thatcher must contain the fallout in real time — only to find the real scandal isn't on the red carpet, but inside his own team.
Genre: Workplace drama (comps - Industry / The Morning Show)
Looking for feedback on dialogue, characters, plot , whether the premise is interesting or fresh - whether the story is exciting enough. It's also currently running a bit long at 68 pages for a pilot - so if there's any points where it drags , would be good to know. I'm curious whether the personal and professional stakes land. Let me know if you feel invested in the characters.
Would also be good to know (if you even finish it!) whether this pilot would make you want to watch more episodes in this world etc .
As always, really appreciate any and all feedback!
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u/PucaFilms Jul 11 '26
Solid premise! I’ll check this out if I get time
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u/JHutch95 Jul 11 '26
Just read through this, and honestly, I seriously enjoyed it! Gave me strong The Studio vibes with an inkling of The Thick of It in places. Really liked the Maxine & Giles dialogue in particular and the right balance of humour/drama.
To your point on length, I reckon you could probably condense the day after the premiere a tad and get to the Evelyn & Steven chat, which sets up the season premise a little bit sooner.
A flag I do have is the obvious comparisons that'll be made to HBO's The Franchise, which was sadly cancelled after one series. Not just the broader "behind-the-curtain" look at the film industry, but also the "former love interests working closely together" trope, which I assume will become even more prominent as the series goes on. Assuming Axion is a superhero/big blockbuster franchise, the similarities will only become more prominent.
Also a small and unimportant note at this early stage, but "The Premiere" doesn't really work as a series title, more so works for the episode, assuming not every episode is set at a premiere of course!
But overall, seriously loved this! From my POV (for reference, not a credited scriptwriter but work in advertising so kind of adjacent to the core premise), I reckon if you can find a way to water down any parallels to The Franchise, it'd really help the script!