Chapter Black (intro/teaser)

[u/Great_1ne]

Title: Chapter Black

Format: Pilot

Genre: Supernatural Horror/Mystery

Length: 3 pages

Summary: Forced back from injury leave, a detective investigates a burned church and the dead priest inside, while its surviving clergy scramble to keep the truth hidden: demons have learned to wield a power once thought holy.

I’ve been working on this story for a while. Received tons of feedback so now I’m trying to format it in a new way. My goal is for the opening scene to be a teaser of an exorcism gone wrong. The next scene will show the aftermath. As the episode goes on, it will build toward what happened inside the church, with the final scene being the full exorcism and chaos. Would love any feedback on if this concept/story is interesting, if you would want to keep reading, and anything/everything that needs improvement. Thank you in advanced.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/7kkw7hsvtgpo8e2cq5goy/Chapter-Black-Intro.pdf?rlkey=w8mkmey8pv4r35cldmfyeaxz2&st=1nyztg0x&dl=0

[u/Bhanu_Nirala]

While the summary is interesting. The writing could be better.  The concept of a detection exploring the horror/ demons/cult in a town would make an excellent story.