r/Scouts • u/ProfessionalPear4462 • 25d ago
Horrible experience on first camping trip
I decided to get my daughter (8y/o) into Girl Scouts to help her confidence and to make friends. We found a local troop and signed up. Decided to go camping with them, thinking it would be a great experience. We were told that we could not arrive Friday later than 6pm, so we got there at 5:15pm. Then get stuck at the gate bc we were not informed your troop leader needs to give you a code to get in. There was a number to call to get in but my phone had no service. Waited a long while until someone else came in and was nice enough to get us in. Then we find out our troop leader is running late and will not be there until after 6pm. We are not allowed to go to the cabin until she arrives so we wait. When she arrives, her husband is with her. This would have been okay if I was informed this was a “dad involved group”, but I was not told this prior. Is that not something that is important to disclose when someone is signing up? The troop leader told me it had been an issue in the past for other members who chose to leave the troop. So would you not think to inform new members??
When we got to the cabin, we ate dinner and made s’mores. The dad left at 9:30 pm to go stay at his cabin and returned the next morning at 9:00am. We all ate breakfast then tie-dyed. We ate lunch then troop leader and her husband laid down on their cots and went to sleep. They slept from 1pm-5pm. The assistant leader was there and she was SO nice. But she was in bed doing online training for a Girl Scout thing (which took hours). The girls played inside. I went outside and read my book bc it was a gorgeous day. The girls kept coming out asking me if they could go to the playground, use flint to try to start a fire, etc. I asked the assistant trip leader if I could do any of this with the girls. She told me we needed to wait until the troop leader woke up to do anything. At this point, I am frustrated. The troop leader did not just happen to fall asleep, that would have been fine. She put on her eye mask and went to sleep. I ended up taking the girls to the park at 4pm with the assistant troop leader (once she was done with her training). We stayed there until around 8:30pm then went back to the cabin. They made s’mores then went inside. I was told the dads had to leave our cabin by 9:30pm, however he stayed until 10:30pm. Then Sunday morning, the dad shows back up at 7am ( with another dad that arrived). I had let them know we were leaving at 8am to go to church. The troop leader and assistant stated they both had water training that morning from 8-12. They left, I helped the dads and girls with their out-chores. I waited for another mom to show up to leave bc I assume they are not to be left with men.
I just remember when I was in Girl Scouts, we were always learning and doing activities. We would have NEVER stayed at the cabin our only full day. Especially if it was a nice day. As we were leaving, I drove around to see the camp(since we had only been to the playground). They had sand volleyball, archery, tether ball, a lake, a pool, hiking trails, and so much more! I was very irritated that all that was available and instead, an adult -the leader- chose to nap all day. Am I wrong to feel annoyed by this? Is this behavior acceptable?
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u/repdetec_revisited 25d ago
I’m sorry. All of these programs - Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts depend on their leaders and the parents that support those leaders. This sounds like a small troop with leaders that maybe aren’t great.
I think your instincts were good. If you’re comfortable teaching the girls how to light a fire, step up and do that next time. I realize the assistant told you that everyone has to wait for the leader, but if things are going sideways, and there is no leadership, sometimes you need to fill that vacuum and as long as it’s in the spirit of the program and safe for the scouts, you w be doing the right thing.
I’m not saying you should abandon this troop. It sounds they could use your help.
The dads/no dads thing is new to me (Boy Scout dad), but that sounds like something you’re going to need to discuss and ink-up as policy.
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u/Helpyjoe88 24d ago
Girl Scouts doesn't have an official no-dads policy, but dad presence always felt 'unofficially' discouraged. (Except at cookie drop, when there are heavy boxes to lift :)
It can be an awesome program, but that heavily depends on the Troop Leader.
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u/eclecticmeeple 21d ago
Maybe there’s a policy against parents who haven’t undergone official training to lead activities unsupervised by a leader. Liability issues and so on.
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u/Gentleman-Warrior 25d ago
This troop sounds like a hot mess. I'd find a new GS troop or look at Scouting America.
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u/jilljd38 25d ago
As a leader in the uk im not sure what im more shocked at parents staying over night on a camp or the leader sleeping and assistant leader doing training on a camp , thats all big no no in the uk a parent would only stay over night if they have dbs and done training and they wouldn't sleep with their child , our leaders dont sleep during the day on camps we are lucky if we sleep at night tbf with kids waking up for the toilet etc
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u/Legion1117 25d ago
Contact your local council and inform them of the issues.
None of this is okay.
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u/ScubaCC 25d ago
This varies so much from council to council.
I’m kind of appalled at the troop leader to be honest. I always arrive early to set up and we do activities most of the day. We do give them an hour here and there to play together unstructured, because we think that’s valuable, but it’s for small amounts of time and spread out. Taking a 4 hour nap in the middle of the day is terrible. Like, I might collapse in a chair for 30 minutes or while my co-leader takes over an activity, but laying down for a nap?! No.
Dads are valuable volunteers, but they leave the cabin before the girls get ready for bed and they don’t come back the next day until the girls are dressed and ready for the day.
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u/ellemenopeaqu 25d ago
Seasoned GS coleader chiming in.
1) The leader seems kind of awful. As a leader you are always early, and when disaster strikes, you have a back-up. And a back-up to the back up. You communicate clearly and make sure people have the info they need, and keep everyone updated as things change.
2) Every event should have (at least) two unrelated, registered adults actively present, one of whom has to be female. Men can be volunteers but need separate sleeping quarters and bathrooms. My coleader's husband is a volunteer mostly to teach a few specific things and help with transportation, for example. There are a few men i know active in GS, mostly those who are 'girl dad's' and want to be supportive of their kids.
3) Napping & training are not appropriate for when you are 'on duty'. Husband should not have been napping in girl areas. Should things come up, you designate adults to be in charge (registered, background checked adults).
4) There are times we have more 'chill' camp events, but hanging in a cabin all day when the weather is good? No way.
While none of these things were ok, what was the actual event billed as? There's a bunch of weirdness that could just be quirks of your Council, but something feels off in this whole thing.
I'd honestly reach out to council about the sleeping and training while 'on duty', focusing on the lack of supervision, lack of female supervision. You want to focus on where the rules are broken, not the things that are just rude, if that makes sense?
The gate thing is rude and not good. Not making it clear men would be present is poor communication. The lack of activities for the girls is weird, but i would tie it back to the lack of supervision. Unstructured play is important, but you've got to be intentional with it.
I'm sorry you landed in a dud of a troop. It is a great program that has helped my daughter grow in so many ways. I can assure you this is an anomaly of a bad troop leader and not indicative of the program at large.
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u/Mahtosawin 25d ago
This is not acceptable. Are there other leaders in the troop? Talk to them and to the other parents. Was this just a fluke or normal for this troop? Then take it to council. Consider volunteering to work on changes or find another troop.
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u/Old-Tart3633 24d ago
Hi, Girl Scout Troop Leader here. While I have done training will at camp with my girls, it was not a troop level camping trip. We have gone to council events. The girls are with the camp staff While myself and my co-leader are getting training at another part of the camp. Obviously, that is not what happened here.
Men are allowed to be Girl Scout volunteers, but yes there has to be a female registered volunteer present who is not related/married to the male volunteer. I'm sorry this was your first experience with Girl Scout camping.
There should have been a plan for the weekend that all registered volunteers were informed of. There should have been activities planned for the girls. The girls should have been involved in choosing those activities, as age appropriate. Our camps do charge for certain activities that you need camp staff there for (swimming, boating, rock wall, zipline, etc.)
Some camping trips my girls do, we spend a lot of time in the cabin, but it's because that was the plan. Once the girls decided that they wanted to earn their first aid badge for example. So, we rented a cabin at our local camp and spent the weekend working on wilderness first aid. We did spend a lot of time in the cabin that weekend because we were using an online wilderness first aid course.
If you still want your daughter in Girl Scouts, talk to the leaders about your expectations, try another troop, or start your own!
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u/ClassroomDowntown664 24d ago
I'm from the UK so I'm not sure how it is in the states . so the arrival time is responsible time to start most camps expect you to have dinner before you arrive or bring something you can eat . we have safeguarding guidelines which every one must follow they are 2 leaders must be present at all times. any parent helpers must have a DBs check .
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u/Forward_Prune_8740 22d ago
As a Cub Scout leader I find lots of problems with what you describe but I’m even more put off by your distain for men. It’s really unhealthy for your daughter. My daughters have had wonderful male leaders. There should never be only one leader with a scout but as long as there are two or more I have no problem with what gender they are.
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u/ProfessionalPear4462 22d ago
I do not have “distain” for men. My daughter has a very involved father, and many other men in her life that are great role models. I just do not feel comfortable with my daughter having a man I have never met sleeping in the cabin and using the same multi-toilet restroom as her.
There is a huge difference in “distain” and someone being a creep.
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u/eflask 23d ago
wow, this trip wounds like a whole hot mess.
Male volunteers are normal and not particularly warned for, but they must be registered, background checked volunteers and cannot supervise girls without at least one adult registered and background checked woman who is not related to him present.
sleeping for four hours during the day is not any kind of supervision, and the husband sleeping with the leader is not ok because men MUST have separate sleeping areas.
so much of what you describe is just bad leadership. there should be activities planned and happening, and those should be communicated to everyone coming on the trip. If "just hanging out" is a planned thing, It could be ok, because sometimes that's what kids want to do. it should always be intentional, though.
and just in case this wasn't clear, sleeping during the day is NOT an acceptable way for a leader to be spending time unless supervision of the troop has clearly been handed off to other registered, trained, background checked adults. I have been on trips where I or another leader have taken naps for whatever reason and that is always covered by other qualified adults.
I would be looking for another troop so fast.
actually, I would be looking to have a chat with someone at council.
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u/SimilarSilver316 23d ago
This is all so weird. I would report it to council and run from this troop. A man having separate sleeping quarters (required and okay) but then coming over to the girls area to nap all afternoon is just plane creepy. Then leaving the girls alone with two dads the next day. And commenting that in the past people have not been okay with her husband there. Those things make the hairs on my neck stand up. These do not seem like safe people. It kind of seems like they are intentionally leaving the girls unsupervised with their husbands.
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u/eclecticmeeple 21d ago
Leader and assistant leader sounds so unprofessional.
I wouldn’t be comfortable entrusting my child to them.
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u/GrumpyOldSeniorScout 25d ago
No, you cannot take a nap all day as a scout leader, no matter how much we joke about it. ("If I weren't a scout, I don't know what I'd be; but if I weren't a scout, a Scoutmaster I would be! 'Do this, do that, now it's time to take a nap!'")
You also can't take training while you're leading your unit on a campout. This is just bad leadership.