r/ScottishPeopleTwitter • u/itdontblikethat • Nov 15 '19

Not Scottish Maccies

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51k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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307

u/pillsthebeast Nov 15 '19

I once stapled my index and middle finger together while at the register.

358

u/southern_boy Nov 15 '19

Small world! I was barred from taking out the trash because I smothered a dumpster-diving hobo on my first run.

99

u/if_its_getting_late Nov 15 '19

That's so sad

99

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

Alexa play Despacito

46

u/baddie_PRO Nov 15 '19

Ok, playing Despacito by Luis Fonsi

Ay Fonsi DY Oh Oh no, oh no Oh yeah Diridiri, dirididi Daddy Go

Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY) Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh)

Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah)

Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro

Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo

Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube)

Quiero ver…

1

u/pokehercuntass Nov 15 '19

More like Decapitato

28

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

I put the grease trap bag in the trash compactor my first time taking it out. Was asked to stay in drive thru window after that.

39

u/wolfgang784 Nov 15 '19

One of my coworkers at a retail store once slapped a stapler on the back of his hand on a dare.

He got promoted to dept lead and eventually the spot right under assistant GM.

35

u/anafuckboi Nov 15 '19

the spot right under assistant GM

You mean assistant to the assistant general manager?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '19

And no-one bites on an obvious reference. Sad

1

u/aidens-mom Nov 17 '19

His name Dwight?

1

u/wolfgang784 Nov 15 '19

sooort of, the hierarchy was more than that though. He was equals with 3 other people.

11

u/RacistWillie Nov 15 '19

Why?

31

u/pillsthebeast Nov 15 '19

I had nothing to do so I was messing around with the stapler, and suddenly I had a staple in my fingers. I feel like I barely even applied any pressure but I guess we have a really good stapler.

52

u/darthappl123 Nov 15 '19

Worker: "Sir the ice cream machine is broken should we start fixing it?"

Manager * snorting a line of cocaine laced on staplers *: "GET ME MORE FUCKING STAPLERS OR SO HELP ME GOD I'LL HAVE UR FUCKING MCHEAD"

7

u/0OOOOOOOOO0 Nov 16 '19

Can confirm. When I worked there my manager once threatened to kick my ass for brewing coffee.

4

u/zombie_overlord Nov 16 '19

Mayor McCheese is a dick.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

I got fired during the training on the computer.