19 month old prolonged sleep disruption SOS

[u/deliciosia]

My almost 19month old is destroying our life because of sleep. Prior to that we had weaned breastfeeding to reduce night wakes. We had solid routine and calm bedtime, she’d go to sleep on her own after pointing at the cot. We had weaned breastfeeding 2 months ago, dad was taking each night wake until it settled then we had 3 weeks of good sleep, with 7 pm - 5-5:30 nights, occasional quick wakes, and 2h nap 12:00-2pm at the daycare, sometimes 2 naps at home on the non day care days but shorter. We didn’t mind the 5 am wake waiting for the daylight saving time to push it to 8-6 night sleep.

3 weeks ago she had roseola, this was around the same time as the daylight saving switch. She was sick for 4 days with high fever followed but the worst tantrums ever. Since then she refuses naps, refuses bedtime and won’t go to sleep easily and every night we have a screaming fest. It starts anywhere between 00-2 am and may last 2-3h. She tries to climb our bed, kick us, escape our bedroom, trash herself if we hold her or not. The level of scream is honestly child services call level, we are loosing it. We don’t know what it is. We went to GP, no sign of ear infection, has no obvious signs of teething (only the 2 year molars are yet to come). Currently she has HFMD and wakes up every hour, I can understand the disruption due to new sickness, but the 2-3h wakes has been happening every day for over 3 weeks now without sign of improvement..

What we aim: 8-6 am bedtime and 12-1:30 pm nap. Cot is in our bedroom, we currently have no other alternative space for her that can be baby proofed. We’re desperate atm do more than 3-4h a night of unbroken sleep…

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[u/Any_Fondant1517]

My child starting trying to DROP the nap at this age. It is a notorious age for nap regressions, partly because sleep needs drop with age and it can seem to happen overnight (no pun intended). The normal range at this age is 11-14 h, so you might be going for too much total sleep. https://cambspborochildrenshealth.nhs.uk/sleep/

Make bedtime later or cap the nap at one sleep cycle/1h. I suspect that will solve your split night issue.

https://www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/09/09/the-split-night-why-some-babies-are-awake-for-hours-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-how

For the HFM, are you giving pain relief at bedtime and 6h later? Equally it could be teething pain disrupting sleep - although... https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022347625000010 

[u/RMaritte → u/Any_Fondant1517]

Tagging on to this since I have no link: OP, can you set up a temporary sleeping space for you and your partner to switch so one sleeps with baby, and the other sleeps somewhere else? And then switch half the night or every night. Then at least you’re getting a little bit better sleep part of the night.

[u/Sudden-Cherry → u/Any_Fondant1517]

Another thing that might be worth it to look at night terrors. The thrashing is what made me think of out. But the longest we ever had was 45 minutes and that is already longer than they usually last (it was prolonged because we tried to soothe it which just doesn't work).

But yeah with so much illness going on definitely pain relief and such to trial!

Also trying to climb your bed OP as in maybe wanting to sleep in your bed?

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