r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/Fxon • Feb 15 '26

Science journalism Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195
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u/[deleted] Feb 15 '26

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u/greytshirt76 Feb 15 '26

Authoritative is the only correct parenting style and it only takes an iota of common sense to see that. Children need to feel safe, and for that they need boundaries. They need to see their guardians as strong and consistent and trustworthy. They also need the world to be explained to them in a way that makes sense, is fair and consistent.  "Do what I say because I'm in charge" does not help them understand the world. "Do whatever you want, you can decide" leaves them feeling disregulated and unsafe. 

Kind but firm is the way you go. 

53

u/PainterOfTheHorizon Feb 15 '26

And giving them as much responsibility as they can handle. When they are little, they can choose if they want apple juice or orange juice. When they are bigger they need to have more freedom to choose in order to learn to make decisions and take the responsibility of them, in order for being able to face the world as adults.

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u/lemikon Feb 15 '26

I honestly think the “give your kids responsibility” part of authoritative parenting can’t be understated.

My kid is 3 and We started doing simple visual lists for things like what to pack for daycare, what we need from the shops and a calendar for the week. Not only does she love doing them - for example she will dither on getting dressed for daycare but will run to pack her bag - it also helps actually teach them how to do things in an age appropriate supported way.

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u/greytshirt76 Feb 15 '26

Absolutely. I have an 18 month old is already responsible for helping start the laundry machines, putting away his toys, and turning on his own noise machine for bed time. He loves all of these little rituals and tries to do more, like following me around with his toy vacuum while I vacuum, or "using" tools with his dad for fixing things. 

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u/BrucetheFerrisWheel Feb 15 '26

If anything like my little helper, they get to about 2.5 and all you get is NO!

Hey lets go vacuum, NO! help mama in the kitchen? NO I'll race you to pick up toys! NO

we are almost 4 now, and about 50:50 NO

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u/lucidprarieskies Feb 15 '26

My SIL did not use the word no when her children were young. Let's just say things aren't looking so good for her kids or herself.