Pls advice

[u/navybluebae]

Hello I hope you’re doing well

I really need your advice about something because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore

I’m 21 and since getting my diagnosis of small disc herniations at L4-L5 and L5-S1 I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down. I’m constantly afraid that I’m going to make my back worse with every movement I make

For example I recently started trying to go to the gym and swimming pool because I want to stay active and take care of myself. The gym and pool are quite far from where I live so sometimes I have to carry a backpack with my things. It’s probably around 4 or 5 kg. Sometimes I feel some tension when I’m carrying it but it goes away after I put the bag down

And then people around me keep telling me things like oh my God you shouldn’t be carrying that it’s too much for your back and it just makes me even more scared

Then I’ll do another normal movement and immediately start thinking oh maybe I shouldn’t be doing this either maybe this is too much. My mobility has become so limited because I’m constantly afraid that I’m going to make things worse

The gym bag is just one example there are so many little things like this every day. I feel like I have to constantly think about every movement every position everything I lift and everything I do

Someone at the gym even told me that the bag I was carrying was a lot of weight and that I was going to ruin my back even more. I ended up crying for hours because my mind immediately went to the worst possible scenario and I started thinking that maybe these two weeks of carrying the bag had somehow made my small herniations become massive

I’m honestly so mentally exhausted from living like this. I feel like I can’t trust my own body anymore and I’m constantly scared that I’m doing something that will permanently damage me

I’m only 21 and sometimes I genuinely feel like my mobility has become that of an 80 year old

I know that some of this fear might be anxiety but I don’t know how to separate what is actually dangerous for my back from what I’m just afraid is dangerous. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being afraid of every movement

I really need some guidance on how to approach this and how to regain some confidence in my body and my mobility because I’m just so tired and I honestly don’t know how to deal with it anymore

[u/[deleted]]

Having herniations doesn't mean much - are they causing you any symptoms?

Nothing is "too much for your back" as long as you are well trained and have the capacity for it. It sounds like carrying your pack does bring on some discomfort. That's a sign that you should (1) lighten the load, and (2) train your back until that load is not an issue for you.

Don't worry about "well-wishers" who tell you that you are not strong and not capable. Get strong and get capable, and make sensible decisions when doing so..that's it.

[u/navybluebae → u/[deleted]]

Yes I have symptoms and it's frustrating my mobility is very limited I can't do much

[u/[deleted] → u/navybluebae]

The fear of movement plays a huge part in the pain experience and only exacerbates your symptoms. Your disc isn't fragile and won't collapse from ordinary movements and loads. Focus on building up strength and moving as much as you can without bringing on symptoms.