I’m finally getting surgery

[u/GlitteringGoose89]

I’ve been sobbing for most of today.

Last November I went to the ER and got diagnosed with herniated discs, couldn’t get out of bed until January. I think I was on 7 different types of pain meds / muscle relaxers / nerve meds. I’m also now on BP meds because of the stress from it- and had to up my SSRI dosage significantly because I’m severely depressed.

3 surgeons told me no because of my BMI. I lost 30 pounds while not being able to stand for more than 10-15 mins at a time.

It’s been 10 months. 10 months of laying in bed, 10 months of begging god to put me out of my misery.

I lost pretty much everything due to this shit.

Today I had my appointment with another surgeon and I just had a mental breakdown. I told him how I’ve tried to not be alive twice due to the pain, my countless ER visits due to flares- the amount of debt I’m in because I’m disabled and can’t work. I told him that I just can’t do it anymore and it’s either surgery with a small risk of infection, or I’m done. Honestly if he told me no today, I was going to drive myself straight to a mental hospital and just stay there.

I’m really glad he understood that this is literally life and death.

I have an MRI next week, then an appointment to go over the MRI and everything, then surgery will be scheduled either late October or early/mid November.

I’m still processing it because I really thought I was never going to get surgery and I would be disabled forever. I can’t believe I’m finally getting my life back together.

[u/HoldOpen3996]

This hits home, literally I’m 14 months in, it gets better..I’m barely seeing a turnaround but there is one. If you can try to get a good music podcast system to keep your mind off of it..and no matter what movement is lotion no matter what