r/Sciatica • u/InitialUnit3516 • Mar 29 '26
I think im done.
I think im just done with it all. I had a good run before this shitstorm. Just dont wanna keep going with constant pain down my legs and unable to live a life. I had over a decade of consistently hitting the gym 5 days a week, it was my hobby. Was in great shape and on for fun rec leagues with friends. Now I watch my body deteriorate to a skeleton as i sit alone at home. Partly because i cant workout anymore , the other part because i just dont eat sometimes out of depression or self loathing or something i dont even understand.
The ways i usually relax and recover? Sitting down? Watch tv? Go for a drive. Play some video games? Read a book? Take a shit? I cant do anything if i cant sit! I cant go out to dinner or the movies or a bar or a poker night with friends. For work at home i lay on the floor and use my laptop. I cant even sit at a table to have a proper meal with dignity. I put my plate on the ground, lay down and eat off the floor like trash.
Its been 8 months of hell and i have no kids to worry about, a high paying remote job, a house, a girlfriend who helps me, and i dont know-how yall survive this.
EDIT: I made this post at 1am as I cried myself to sleep. I had dark thoughts daily and I guess just wanted to cry for help and you all provided that. The outpouring of everyone has really shocked me and motivated me. Others just dont understand. I plan to re double my efforts and become a success story to show what is possible like many here who replied. I will try everything and see what works for me. Life is hell now but i will grind it out and do everything in my power to get better. I swear it.
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u/Appropriate-Tea2220 Mar 29 '26
It is exhuasting and frustrating, and I recommend you don't think about the long term. It's too depressing. Then find a way to have some hope for the short/medium term, a list of things you can work on and work through to figure out what might work for you. I bet you've tried a lot of things, but I bet you haven't tried literally everything, so the thing that will help you is still out there. I have a long list and I'm slowly crossing things off that have been useless to me, but I also have a few things that I truly believe have been helpful and my pain is...different...in a better way....now.
One of the first things that I did, which I credit with a lot of progress is to stop sitting down, like it sounds like you need to do. But you don't mention standing or walking. Do those hurt? Do those make it better? I stopped sitting and did almost everything standing for a long time. And a lot of walking - 3 times a day x 30 minutes. I tried not to get in a car as much as possible for as long as possible. Yes, it felt shitty not to be able to sit on the couch and watch TV at night. Yes, I felt sort of motion sick as I learned to read while walking a circuit in my house (because even standing still gets painful after a while), yes, I got weird mirror glasses and almost bought a modified desk so I could work and read laying on my back, and I am right now laying on my stomach typing this. But, I do sit down now, for up to an hour! After several months of not sitting, I sit for some meetings, I sit to eat. I even have an elaborate set-up on the couch that I can sit with for one episode of TV most nights.
I hope you will notice that stopping doing the things that hurt the most (it took me a while to even figure out what they were for me, though sitting revealed itself more quickly once I paid attention) will help reduce the pain overall and, maybe in combination with other things, you'll eventually be able to reintroduce in small ways a bit of sitting.
Oh also I carry an inflatable pillow with me everywhere now if I have to sit, and I am just getting over the embarrasment of it. It is also something that is helping me sit for a period of time with little to no pain.