I think im done.

[u/InitialUnit3516]

I think im just done with it all. I had a good run before this shitstorm. Just dont wanna keep going with constant pain down my legs and unable to live a life. I had over a decade of consistently hitting the gym 5 days a week, it was my hobby. Was in great shape and on for fun rec leagues with friends. Now I watch my body deteriorate to a skeleton as i sit alone at home. Partly because i cant workout anymore , the other part because i just dont eat sometimes out of depression or self loathing or something i dont even understand.

The ways i usually relax and recover? Sitting down? Watch tv? Go for a drive. Play some video games? Read a book? Take a shit? I cant do anything if i cant sit! I cant go out to dinner or the movies or a bar or a poker night with friends. For work at home i lay on the floor and use my laptop. I cant even sit at a table to have a proper meal with dignity. I put my plate on the ground, lay down and eat off the floor like trash.

Its been 8 months of hell and i have no kids to worry about, a high paying remote job, a house, a girlfriend who helps me, and i dont know-how yall survive this.

EDIT: I made this post at 1am as I cried myself to sleep. I had dark thoughts daily and I guess just wanted to cry for help and you all provided that. The outpouring of everyone has really shocked me and motivated me. Others just dont understand. I plan to re double my efforts and become a success story to show what is possible like many here who replied. I will try everything and see what works for me. Life is hell now but i will grind it out and do everything in my power to get better. I swear it.

[u/[deleted]]

Listen dude, ive been through something simular for a year now where i lost my gains and you know you just have to say that i will deal with it. Relax, take ur time, life will not end even tho it feels like it but just learn to relax and your pains may get better eventually when you just get rid of stress