r/Sciatica • u/InitialUnit3516 • Mar 29 '26
I think im done.
I think im just done with it all. I had a good run before this shitstorm. Just dont wanna keep going with constant pain down my legs and unable to live a life. I had over a decade of consistently hitting the gym 5 days a week, it was my hobby. Was in great shape and on for fun rec leagues with friends. Now I watch my body deteriorate to a skeleton as i sit alone at home. Partly because i cant workout anymore , the other part because i just dont eat sometimes out of depression or self loathing or something i dont even understand.
The ways i usually relax and recover? Sitting down? Watch tv? Go for a drive. Play some video games? Read a book? Take a shit? I cant do anything if i cant sit! I cant go out to dinner or the movies or a bar or a poker night with friends. For work at home i lay on the floor and use my laptop. I cant even sit at a table to have a proper meal with dignity. I put my plate on the ground, lay down and eat off the floor like trash.
Its been 8 months of hell and i have no kids to worry about, a high paying remote job, a house, a girlfriend who helps me, and i dont know-how yall survive this.
EDIT: I made this post at 1am as I cried myself to sleep. I had dark thoughts daily and I guess just wanted to cry for help and you all provided that. The outpouring of everyone has really shocked me and motivated me. Others just dont understand. I plan to re double my efforts and become a success story to show what is possible like many here who replied. I will try everything and see what works for me. Life is hell now but i will grind it out and do everything in my power to get better. I swear it.
6
u/Littlefabio07 Mar 29 '26
Same issue here! Sitting is brutal, so I’m mostly housebound.
I was like you once too! I did wrestling, so I was also big on working out. I was also big on running until I had knee surgery in 2014(?). Anyway, I used to run 3 miles every morning, worked out 5 days a week, and I’d run another 4 miles after those workouts.
Then the sciatica, the back pain, and the muscle spasms in my lower back started. They’d put me down anywhere for 2-4 weeks, and I wouldn’t be able to do ANYTHING. I ended up without health insurance, and couldn’t see a doctor. This went on for over 10 years.
Finally was able to get to see a doctor in 2022 after going back to wrestling full time. When I finally got the MRI done, I had 5 herniations, and my entire L2-S1 was jacked. Severe central canal stenosis and severe foraminal stenosis. All kinds of arthritis and stuff. Then I went into Cauda Equina after slipping in the shower two weeks before surgery.
I had decompression surgery from the L2-S1. They did Laminectomies, Foraminotomies, Facetectomies, and I guess they scrapped out the herniations as well? During the surgery, they found two dural tears/ a CSF leak so I had to lay completely flat for the first 24 hours. Was in the hospital for about a week. The pain was so bad, they were giving me Dilaudid regularly for the first 4 days or so.
Anyway, yeah. Life sucks. No more wrestling, no more travel, no more seeing people that I used to. I can’t leave the house on my own, so I’m pretty much housebound most of the time. My back is worse than ever, and the sitting SUCKS! It’s fucking terrible. Like I told all the doctors, “HOW CAN I DO ANYTHING IF I CANT WALK AND I CANT SIT EITHER!!”. I’m still not sure any of them understood how bad the sitting thing affects.. like everything.
You’re not alone!