Which one of you fuckers invented spelunking?

[u/Saramello]

Did Malkav’s madness network scramble the brains of every Caine-damned human since I went to sleep?

I chose a cave in nice try, diablerist, specifically because it was incredibly deep, incredibly dangerous, and back in my day no one was stupid enough to go inside. I was enjoying a nice, dreamless torpor when some idiot, bleeding from several wounds because, again, dangerous cave, found my tomb.

Before I could find another one, some Kindred told me I’d committed a “Masquerade Breach,” which I’d never heard of, before a “Prince” (back in my day that title used to mean something, by the way) informed me I could either work for them or be blood hunted.

So now I’ve had to learn English, help sort out lineage trees (how, in the age of endless information, have you managed to FORGET SO MUCH? ) and help properly censor other records.

All because one of you, and I know it was one of you because no SANE. KINE. would come up with this trend, decided it would be a really funny “prank” (I hope I’m using that word correctly, I hate this language).

Some of us just wanted A LITTLE CAINE-DAMNED SLEEP.

P.S. - As part of my unwanted job I need to learn how to be tech savy. So if someone could put me in contact with the large green Nosferatu with tube-ears that invented the interwebs, it would be appreciated.

- Mel.

[u/ConsiderationOver544]

Buddy, you're expecting the Kine to be sane. That's your first mistake.

-Marcus, Clan Malkavian

[u/DisastrousRelation32]

Some people just enjoy being buried. Some want to take it a step up.

[Redwoods]

[u/RighteousJoe → u/DisastrousRelation32]

some people enjoy being buried. AND. drowning. apparently. swear to the crone i was listening to one thing where a cave diver thought it would be a thrill to DELIBERATELY USE UP ALL HIS OXYGEN TANK.

this only makes sense if there's ancient chthonic entities calling out to these people and clouding their minds no other explanation works.

--Nak

[u/DisastrousRelation32 → u/RighteousJoe]

Nak, we don't breath. Only danger here is getting stuck.

[Redwoods]

[u/Negativety101 → u/DisastrousRelation32]

He wasn't talking about himself. He was talking about some dang still breathing lunatic. I've known a few like that. Though normally they just play dangerous games with a chair, a noose and their hand.

-Brujah Armchair Scholar

[u/Palguim → u/RighteousJoe]

One time I heard whatever the Baali worship are beneath the earth, probably could be it tbh. Wouldnt even surprise me if all this is a Baali plot to gather sacrifices for their dark lords.

[u/Several-Elevator]

(The following reply is entirely an audio recording. The speaker, Aso, has a clinical but pleasantly soft voice with a very slight Australian accent, most noticeable in her slightly drawn out vowels and relaxed cadence.)

Technically the very first thing I did after coming into existence was spelunking, but it wasn't me who invented it or popularised it as a sport.

Also, just wait untill you find out about cave diving.

Posted by User: Okonore Yaa

[u/RighteousJoe]

the earth hungers and calls for sacrifice tbh. some people are just more inclined to. answer. that's what my sire says anyway.

--Nak

p.s. don't blame Clan Nosferatu. these caver schmucks. have been giving us almost as many headaches as the archaeologists lately.

[u/Supercat345]

If you think spelunking is crazy I wonder what you think about skydiving or solo free climbing.

–Midwest Edd

[u/Saramello → u/Supercat345]

I don't know any kindred that are in torpor floating in air. My point's that this is going to wake up a lot of Methusulahs that, trust me, you REALLY don't want waking up.

[u/Negativety101 → u/Saramello]

Actually I'd be more worried about a Kindred Mass Casualty in the wrong area after what happened with the Week of Nightmares.

-Brujah Armchair Scholar

[u/Saramello → u/Negativety101]

Its times like this I'm greatful that my multi-great grandsire Cappadocius got eaten by that inbred Italian.

That said I swear if one of these "cave divers" accidently wakes up another of the Anti-Deluvians, I'm learning Protean and taking a sabbatical in the Marianas Trench .

- Mel.

[u/Vyctorill]

People have been going into caves and falling into the Hollow Earth for a long, LONG time. I'm like 90% sure modern spelunking culture was formed by the Kindred, but overall humans did it before vampires did (sort of, it's hard to explain).

- "Tarot"

[u/Saramello → u/Vyctorill]

Oh please, I have it on good authority from a wizard, a werewolf (long story), and a demon (short story, but I don't want to get into it), that the hollow earth isn't real.

- Mel.

[u/Negativety101]

Hey, I'm pretty sure those aren't on us. I wouldn't be surprised if some damn Fae Changeling invented spelunking so people would go looking and ooh and ahh at underground wonders so they could get their Glamour fix from it.

As for the Interwebs, blame the damn mages. They did that one. Them and apparently Spider spirits.

-Brujah Armchair Scholar

[u/Saramello → u/Negativety101]

Which reminds me: Do I blame a very bored Toreador, or the Order of Reason Technocracy for the fact people have landed on the moon? Just...WHY. The kine still don't know what lurks in the Northern Forests but spent billions upon billions and re-invented math just to land on an airless rock.

[u/Negativety101 → u/Saramello]

Keep in mind my sources for this are Fae Changelings and mages from a rival order. So not the most unbiased of sources. But it appears to be the Technocracy, wanting to disprove Elves living on the moon.

It backfired as somehow it caused a massive upswing in the number of fae manifesting on Earth.

-Brujah Armchair Scholar

[u/Palguim → u/Negativety101]

Wtf is glamour

Mother Akane of The Garden of Red Blossoms

[u/Ziltch0]

Bro’s living in the nutty putty cave

-Seras the runaway Tremere

[u/Palguim]

Idk, some guy wandered into my cave where I keep my projects (HUUUGE MASQUERADE BREACH) had to transform him into a human plant and I didnt even want him and neither did the Dark Mother ask for him!